10 of my unpopular movie opinions Vol.1

 

01.Comedy Generally Sucks 

I try not to exclude any genres but I really can’t stick popular comedy films, I guess I just don’t have a funny bone…  no, wait that’s not true at all, follow me on Twitter and find out!! I get a lot of humour from the films I watch I just never feel the need to just sit down and laugh, I prefer to be unsettled. It takes all sorts I suppose, the exception to the rule is Hot Rod (2007) this is something I can sit down and watch with glee about once a year.

 

02.There has never been a decent Batman Film 

just shoot me now! I kinda enjoyed the Tim Burton film, I was about 9 and it was exciting to see all the flashy shit but when I bothered to look back on the film only a few years after its release it was so terrible.. and everything that has come after it has been total crap. I adore the comics, and the animated show was quite fun, but I just can’t visualise a physical batman. I have tried to watch a number of them but I’ve not rated any of them higher than a 3.

03.We need more REAL effects

CGI has it’s place but it’s so typical and boring and can really date a film, it’s guaranteed that within a year or two the film is going to look sloppy. I really admire the craftsmanship and imagination the goes into making real effects, the wonders from Tom Savini and Rick Baker really made an important feature in cinema, it does seem that this era is over but every not and again someone does revive this timeless method over the use of their pooter and it’s brilliant.

04.Budget doesn’t matter 

I get riled up when people rely on the budget of a film for its watchability. There are so many films which cost millions which were total chump and vice versa, it’s one of the dumbest reasons to not like a film. I really admire films like Primer (2004) and Bellflower (2011)  strangely both lofi scifi but they cost less than the catering for a bigger budget film and are deeply moving and amazing tales.

05.Blu Rays are pointless 

I don’t even want to go into my hatred for gay rays. I own one and for some reason it came with the DVD, why the hell I would want both I dunno but I have both.. (the film is Salo, defiantly not something to need to see with any more clarity). I feel the jump from DVD to digital with overstep Gayray, it’s just another use to spend more money like 3D movies and how minidisc was supposed to be the next new format and well we went digital.. I won’t be replacing any of my 3000 films with gay ray.. heck I’m buying more VHS!

06.Cinema experience is overrated 

I do love going to the movies but I prefer to watch them at home, in comfortable clothes, with cheap food, all the booze I can handle, company I approve of and no one telling me to shush or getting offended by my classy farts…

07.2001 a Space Odyssey is sooooo boring.. 

I didn’t want this to get down to films but there are a range of movies and directors that you are expected to worship otherwise you can’t be taken seriously. But 2001, for me.. was so boring.. I really enjoyed the sentinel story it’s loosely based on but this was crap… wait it’s not crap it’s just not thrilling.. not for me..

08.I don’t get hung up about watching  movies on YouTube

 I don’t upload them but I do watch them from time to time, I have a vhs copy of Turkey shoot but there is a HD version on YouTube!! Now and again instead of searching through 3000+dvd’s I do log on and watch it, I don’t feel like a criminal, although technically I am. I’ve watched a few things on there, especially some hard to find films from the Soviet Union. And schit that isn’t on DVD yet,  ultimately it’s evil and somehow it’s funding terrorism (that’s so LOL) but I really don’t see it destroying the film industry completely I still buy a LOT of movies and spend a fortune at the cinema. I’m not a total scumbag but I don’t lose sleep over this.

09.We need MORE black and white movies

 I really don’t discriminate when it comes to movies, (ignore point 01), I like to encompass all of cinema and that includes *old* movies and black and white films, now when I say old I’m talking 1920s and when I mean black and white I mean black and white.. you get me. It’s something often overlooked by younger audiences who can barely cope with a movie without CGI, but I’ve see some impressive new films with CGI that are 90% black at white at least.. and the older films can be equally as thrilling.. turn the colour off and usually lose seats at the cinema,

 

10.The Oscars can bite my ass

I don’t care.. I really don’t..

 

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Efter Brylluppet / After the Wedding (2006)

Director: Susanne Bier.
Starring. Mads Mikkelsen, Sidse Babett Knudsen, Denmark/India/Sweden. 2h 2m.

There’s a strange sense of duty and a unique stiff upper lip with Scandinavian culture, often associated with bravery and wisdom, sometimes things get a little sharp and precise with the Northern European restraint, and it unfolds with a glorious and bitter results.

The film opens with Jacob (Mikkelsen) a good Samaritan who has cast off all the luxuries of Denmark and is running an orphanage in India which is in dire need of funding. A mysterious man Jorgen (Lasagard) insists on giving the a large sum of money to the cause but only if he gets to meet with face to face, at first he’s hesitant but then soon realises the fate of the children rests on his shoulders. Continue reading Efter Brylluppet / After the Wedding (2006)

Rampage – Capital Punishment /Rampage You End Now(2014)

Director: Uwe Boll
Starring. Brendan Fletcher, Lochlyn Munro, Mike Dopud, Michaela Mann Canada/Germany/USA. 1h 33m.

Straight after his first rampage in Oregon, Bill Williamson (Fletcher), vanishes off the grid but the actions and message is received loud and clear and his fan base is growing online. He uses the money from his previous heist to fund a new one venture to really get his message home, a second chapter, another rampage and this time he’s coming back for the media. After purchasing weapons and building bombs he shaves his head, sets his house on fire and drives to Washington where he unpacks, burns his car, breaks into a new station, killing security staff and a few employees, he gathers up their number one (asshole) anchorman (Munro) and gathers his hostages in the basement. Continue reading Rampage – Capital Punishment /Rampage You End Now(2014)

06 (Creepy) Stop Motion Short Films

01.You Could Sunbathe In This Storm

D: Alice Dunseath

A deep exploration os you and i and we and us. Using the poem The Old Men Admiring Themselves In The Water – Poem by William Butler Yeats. The film is a very unique blend of stop motion, mostly made from what looks like clay objects rather than a softer molding material, and at one point it turns into a crystal growing project. It’s touching and emotive.

Continue reading 06 (Creepy) Stop Motion Short Films

Monster Project (2017)

 

Day 7 – Monster Project

Director: Victor Mathieu.
Starring. Jamal Quezaire,Justin Bruening,Murielle Zuker, Toby Hemingway, Yvonne ZimaUSA. 1h 34m.

I want to kick myself after watching this film, I had high hopes and every one of them was smashed into pieces. It’s particularly hard for me as I often defend found footage movies, it’s such a unique genre that is often hated on and with movies like this… I have to hold my hands up and agree.

A couple of YouTube pranksters film fake monster and paranormal videos, they’re in it for the YouTube Bucks and the Likes, but they want to try and be more authentic and want to find real monsters to film to prove their existence. After making this snap decision they just pop out and find a few real critters, including a sleepwalker, a vampire tattooist, a real possessed Japanese chick who levitates and does the usual Sadako shit, after confirming their credentials, they hook up with their long lost ex’s and go to a remote location and begin the interviews. It’s quite apparent that one of the main members of the cast has a few inner demons to exorcise from his past and soon he becomes a focal point but why? Continue reading Monster Project (2017)

13 Days of Hallowe’en Horror 2017

This year I’ve decided to do a shorter list of only 13 items  as we were (un)lucky enough to have Friday the 13th this October and I usually fail my 31 days of Horror for October 😦

lets see if 13 is my lucky number!?! I’ll keep updating this page over the next 13 days as I countdown a fairly random list of Halloween favourites with new reviews!!

Continue reading 13 Days of Hallowe’en Horror 2017

Carnival of Souls (1962)

Day 8 – Carnival of Souls

Director: Herk Harvey.
Starring. Candace Hilligoss, Frances Feist, Sidney Berger, Art Ellison, USA. 1h 24m.

A cult classic that still influences a host of modern directors, this independent horror film manages to create a bizarre ghostly atmosphere that has been difficult to re-create since.

A few girls are out for a lark, when then encounter some greasers who challenge them to a drag race over a bridge, the girls car crashes in the river and they get pulled along by the rapids, the rescue mission fails to find anything but a shabby and bemused young blonde bombshell emerges from the water the only survivor from this tragic misadventure. Mary’s life is never quite the same after the accident. The church organist relocates to Utah, where she finds herself set apart from the locals and stalked by a strange pasty faced ghoulish man (Harvey) as she’s drawn towards a mysterious carnival on the outskirts of town near the river,  where she’s inclined to dance. Continue reading Carnival of Souls (1962)

It Comes at Night (2017)

Day 7 – It Comes At Night 

Director:Trey Edward Shults .
Starring. Joel Edgerton, Riley Keough, Christopher Abbott, Carmen Ejogo, Kelvin Harrison Jr. USA. 1h 37m.

In the aftermath of a apocalyptic virus that has wiped out most of our modern civilisation a family tries to carve out an existence in the backwoods of the USA, after bringing in some outsiders their laus trophic tale brings the two families together before everything gets ripped apart.

Trey Edwards Shults (a name that’s hard to forget but easy to misspell) worked as a crew member on Terrence Malick movies and it seems that the experience has left a big impression on him, after his low budget debut SXSW, about an eccentric woman show up to a family reunion, he now digs his heels into horror that’s not quite horror… *gulp* post horror? This impressive movie whose title seems to have little to do with the content of the film. Continue reading It Comes at Night (2017)

It stains the sands red (2016)

 

Day 6 – It Stains the Sands Red

Director: Colin Minihan
Starring: Brittany Allen, Juan Riedinger, Merwin Mondesir Canada. 1h 32m.

On days when I’m laid up with the flu I usually end up watching a terrible b movie while hallucinating on extreme flu remedies, it tends to make the film more enjoyable, that time I did this I watched Chemical Peel, this year I watched It Stains the Sands Red and I really enjoyed this offbeat zombie drama.
Molly, a powder sniffing pole dancer with a few daddy issues gets stranded in the desert while being hunted down by one lone unrelenting zombie. At first she enjoying keeping a few paces ahead of the foul smelling ghoul but soon she realises that the zombie doesn’t need to rest but strangely she forms a bond with it and the ordeal turns out to be therapy for the demons that have been chasing Molly all of her life. Continue reading It stains the sands red (2016)

Night Caller from Outer Space / Blood Beast from Outer Space (1965)

Day 5 – Night Caller

Director: John Gilling
Starring: John Saxon, Maurice Denham, Patricia Haines, UK. 1h 25m

There is always a huge amount of respect to be had for early sci fi, the imagination and passion that gave us so many of the inventions that are commonplace in modern times…. Or in this case the sciences is mostly about space and aliens and concepts which are a little out there… but are crazy enough to be enjoyable.

Scientist Jack Costain (Saxon) and his colleagues track and investigate a meteorite that crash lands in the British countryside, the strange spherical asteroid defies science as we know it. The asteroid is taken to the laboratory to be studied but it seems inert, but the army remain on stand by.  Eventually Dr Morley (Dedham) discovers that it is an alien device from Ganymede, a moon of Jupiter and it acts like a gateway, this is only activated when people are alone, usually female. A creature emerges, and stalks Ann (Haines) eventually; using her as bait, they capture a tall alien and take it to their lab, but it escapes. Continue reading Night Caller from Outer Space / Blood Beast from Outer Space (1965)

Psychotronic Cinema