The Cloth (2013)

THE CLOTH

(Horror, Supernatural, Thriller, 2013) (15C: Danny Trejo, Eric Roberts, Rachele Brooke Smith. 1 h 28 min. USA

A godless man is recruited by a secret organization who works to combat demonic possessions in order to prepare a new generation in the battle against evil forces

TAGLINE : The battle for your soul, has begun!

The-Cloth

Oh dear lawd, what an awful movie. The first thing you realise is the crazy lame monologue dialogue, no one has any emotion, the pauses are really long and it’s like a school play.. Actually I’d prefer to watch a school play because the little kiddies usually put some effort it. What else.. oh yes this is a blatant rip off on Constantine (2005) but the star is actually more wooden than Keanu (I never thought I’d ever say that), he gets some cool pokemon style demon fighting gadgets from a low budget M and a cool coat that totally helps him blend in with any crowd.

 cloth

I think the basics of this movie is some unsuspecting youngster realises that he’s the ONLY HOPE FOR MANKIND!!! And he doesn’t want the responsibility, then due to his bloodline only he can use special weapons to fight demons (who are really people who have eaten a lot of blackjacks… black mouthed mofos) and some schit happens, this douchbag also dumps his gf while brushing his teeth.. *brush brush* I dunno how to say this but I don’t think this is working out  *brush – SPIT* I’m amazed he didn’t just drop his kacks and take a pinch a loaf too.

Yeah..anyways…

2/10

02

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