Hazard Jack (2014)

hazard jack

 

Director: David Worth
Writer: Doug Vandegrift (co write0 David Worth
Starring: Alison Lani, Kevin James Sporman, Amanda Maddox Macauley Gray, Jason Hudson, Quincy Taylor. USA. 1h 22m

Sometimes my insomnia is cruel to me, it keeps me up in the early hours when the only thing on TV are a range of schitty Z Movies, and fuck you brain for keeping me awake throughout the film… fuck you!

A group of teens spend the weekend in an abandoned hospital for a bit of R and R that consists of paintball, booze and a bit of sex.. naturally, but unbeknownst to them the hospital is home to a homicidal maniac who is not happy that they have intruded.

Kicking off with the slow torture of an unknown girl interlaced with shots of what looks to be the Vietnam war, and this is the introduction to the anonymous antagonise Hazard Jack (Quincy Taylor) he remains a masked killer throughout and the most we’ll ever be able to deduce from this lengthy intro is that he’s probably killing due to some PTSD from the war but it’s never really explained. Next we’re introduced to the victims and from here we realise that the film is duff, they are the most boring bland, scooby doo kids ever, they are so “typical” it’s sickening, the jock , the nerd, the silicone enhanced wenches.. after some striping and drinking they are all prepped for the kill, they also pretty much forget that they are supposed to be playing paintball..

Once the killing starts, the most noticeable crank is that there are so few graphic scenes, this would have saved this car crash of a movie, there are the odd bits of advertised gore but nothing is shown, I think the rating is purely down to the boobies… nevermind.. hey.

While this movie is totally lifeless and is directed towards soft core more than gore, the entire cast just seemed to be out for a bit of fun, literally none of them ever seemed scared, maybe they really are bimbos. I’m always cheering for the killer no matter how cute and small the victim might be but when the film is this bad and the characters are so 1 dimensional you want to help the killer out.

Coming from a fairly accomplished director, who gave us some classic action films such as Kickboxer (1989) and Bloodsport (1988), btu in later years has terrified us with some laughable dingy films that have a reputation for being bad. The writing is childish and the cast look like they were left to just make it up as they went along.

There really isn’t much to say about it, I hope that I never had to see it again, but I suppose I had to see it in order to make up my mind about it, if you’re a die hard Slasher fan then get in there, just don’t expect anything amazing. I feel the film would have benefitted from maybe having a better explanation of the killer’s motives along with a improvements to …. well everything else. There is nothing new to see here, move along, and maybe watch one of the classics to see how you can make a slasher movie awesome.

AOFA01

 

 

Rating 1/10

RFriday the 13th (1980), Prowler (1981), The Burning (1981)
L – Selected Slashers
A – The effects of war on film
Vs – Hazard Jack Vs Violence Jack Vs Jack Nicholson

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