Find Me (2014)

Find me

Director: Andy Palmer.
Starring: Cameron Bender, Kathryn Lyn, Rachelle Dimaria . USA. 1h 25m.

A young couple are still unboxing when an unwelcomed entity becomes a terrifying pain in the ass. Yep I’m going there with this film, it has to be done. There are shedloads of these poor horrors that are neither sensible, linear or entertaining, Fine me doesn’t offer as much as it promises and only slowly eeks out a twist that we all saw coming.

Tim (Bender) and Emily (Lyn) have just got married and have found a low cost home in Emily’s old childhood neighbourhood, so it’s a nice house in a nice location and everything is just swell, or is it!? Pretty soon after moving in there is a gradual build up of strange occurrences, and the couple realise that they are not alone in their new home. Obviously being straight minded individuals instead of moving out and selling on their bargain home, they accept help from a crystal happy hippy to perform a seance to contact the spirit and to ask it to leave, with devastating consequences.. Emily seems to be the main target of the spirit but why? What’s the connection and will she come to realise before it’s all too late?

Ready or not here she comes…

Phew.. I made it through and didn’t die or cry.. It’s slow and bland and playing out a story that has been done to death, but it’s OK.. everything about it is just very OK. It doesn’t engage to well, as it doesn’t offer a ton of excitement, the pace is incredibly slow, almost as if things are being spelt out, and there really is no need because we’ve all seen a haunted house film, and there isn’t anything particularly new and outstanding about this one, stop me when you’ve heard this one, a creepy girl ghost with long hair writing on steamy mirrors, a female psychic who performs an seance and the things go squiffy.. things going bump in the night.. oh no please don’t!

Relying on a few jump scares and sound effects the plot thickens (or so it makes out) the ending becomes ever predictable, and we totter off to the end, eject the DVD and use it a frisbee. It follows the guidebook very strongly and successfully offers all of the typical scares and treats, there is no innovation here so don’t expect a thrill. But there are no plot holes and the acting is well.. OK. I’ve never seen a film which is so OK. to it’s credit it doesn’t use a lot of CGI and it does create a very bleak atmosphere which is constant, but it’s painfully boring and repetitive.

AOFA02

Rating 2/10

R – Want a spooky haunting film that’s worth watching, try theses… Ringu (1998), The Others (2001),
L – Haunted Houses, Chick Ghosts,
A – Do we need crappy movies?

 

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