Jupiter Ascending (2015)

jupiter-ascending

Director:Lana Wachowski, Andy Wachowski.
Starring: Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, Sean Bean, Eddy Redmayne. USA. 1h ??m.

Wow, just wow.. this was one of the films listed as a potential astro film list that I am sculpting and I made the mistake of announcing that I was going to watch it and somehow ended up watching it. I’m so sorry.. I will never do something this stupid again.. In all fairness it’s visually stunning at times but a total clusterfuck when it comes to storytelling. This bewildering mashup of Disney Princess meets Green Screen Sci Fi just doesn’t go anywhere, the attempt to create an epic universe is lacking in taste and vision.

Jupiter’s birth in modest and simple surroundings soon dissipate as she realises her destiny is among the stars, her dull life transforms after some stereotypical grey aliens try to abduct her, but things do take a different twist and then another twist and another but all resulting in this whimsical space opera of a young girl who is really a queen and whose destiny it is to save the universe.. Every step of the way we’re presented with another twist to the same predictable story which just isn’t visually impressive enough to distract from the bullshit we’re expected to swallow. There really isn’t much that is new, and the re hashing of the disneyesque princess story with star wars is vile. There is one scene which had been done to death over the years but it sparked a shred of light hearted fun, where Jupiter has to become recognised as royalty and her valet has to take her through the process, quite like trying to get planning permission, getting forms signed and stamped and permission etc, it’s funny because it’s ridiculous, I can’t think about this film anymore and I’m sure the cast are even happier that it’s a distant memory. I’m amazed this didn’t titanic any of their careers..

AOFA01 

 

Rating 1/10

L – Solar System of FIlms.

 

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