Jeepers Creepers 3 (2017)

Director: Victor Salva
Starring.Stan Shaw,  Gabrielle Haugh,  Brandon Smith, Meg Foster, Jonathan Breck, Gina Philips USA. 1h 40m.

Have you ever felt totally cheated after waiting 14 years for a sequel of a movie just to be served up a half arsed film that promises great things next time around? The epic working title of this film was Jeepers Creepers Cathedral but it should have been names Jeepers Creepers, lets just waste your fucking time.. *inhale*…. *exhale*

The film brings nothing to the story and has absolutely no character development for the beloved Creeper, albeit we really just want to see him scary and slaughter people while being maimed in ludacris ways, this run around story doesn’t even deliver the basics. Originally he started out as a ghoulish bad guy with a wicked sense of humour trolling around the spring night in his BEATNGU van collecting body parts until he stumbled on a few delicious eyes that he wanted. In his next incarnation he returned for a group of victims, it’s always best to come back for a group in your Hollywood sequel,  his interactions were more comical and sinister and he became a flying spectre who crafted remarkable weapons from the body parts he collected, but he has an arch rival in this episode, a bit underpowered for the story but great additions for the creeper.. then it all went wrong.

“Where’d you get those eyes… “

It’s spring time again and therefore the Creeper is out and about slaying and causing mayhem, he dispatches a few teens who decide to troll his van, the van seems to have a mind of it’s own and like the Mangler (1995) it defends itself; this is probably the only character development in the whole film!! The Creepers BEATNGU van is actually a mechanical nightmare torture device. A boring from the beginning love story sees a girl being captured and kept alive by the Creeper, something he’s never done before but her “boyfriend” and a local sheriff Sheriff Dan Tashtego (Shaw)head out to save her and kill the Creeper which is pretty standard fodder.. but the spice comes from her bat shit crazy aunt  who is the aged actress Meg Foster who spends the first part of the movie talking to her dead son (another Creeper victim) and manages to locate and dig up the Creepers old arm, after touching it and having a moment discovers what the Creeper is.. she hooks up with her ex police partner Tashtego and allows him to touch the hand and also discover what the creeper really is.. and then he heads out to destroy the Creeper..

Oh sorry you were expecting to also find out what the Creepers origins are?? Well “not for you” this information isn’t even hinted at.. so go fuck yourself if you thought there was more…

The Creeper goes about trying to find his arm and getting increasingly pissed off, his van accidently attacks him or more accurately he gets caught in one of his own traps, there are so excruciatingly slow-mo action scenes at the end and without giving too much away the finale ties this movie into the second film AND brings back a character from the first movie to hopefully lead into the 4th?!

Some of the body shocking scenes are ok, something to deter from the lack of fights and creepiness that usually comes with this cult icon, he doesn’t do so much sneaking around, coming at people from the corners of their perception, instead he just whistles his way across a field in broad daylight. Strangely he doesn’t actually seem to be after anything, We know that he has to feed but usually he needs body parts to repair himself too, that’s what makes his scary, is singling out someone and hunting them down, picking up on the smell of their fear, another factor that was ignored in this film.

The fire power that was used against his was outstanding for the era and location, there is a similar truck used by Ray Wise in the second film was replicated but with a major canon style gun for this monster encounter but the BEATNGU van has a few defence features I didn’t see coming. Maybe if the wait wasn’t soooo long but with a story that doesn’t fess up any goodies I really can’t fathom the point of it. I shall await the fourth instalment which is shaping up with a lot of actors from the previous 3 movies and somehow Ray Wise is coming back, so I won’t hold my breath but I shall make the effort, I feel that we’re now owed a perfect film, let’s hope the lessons have been learnt

Rating 3/10

RJeepers Creepers (2001), Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003),
L – Sequels that bore
A – How not to make a sequel..
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