Bed of the Dead (2016)

Director: Jeff Maher.
Starring. Colin Price, Alysa King, Gwenlyn Cymyn, Dennis Andres, George Kirssa, Hamza Fouad. Canada. 1h 25m

After watching the long lost and brilliant psychotropic Death Bed : The bed that eats (1977) , I chanced upon this modern gore thriller about a similar piece of haunted furniture and thought I’d see how far we’d come in terms of awesome cinema and to sum it up in one sentence, watch the 1970’s classic instead..

This film is based on one wishy washy idea then introduces another and another then forgets to actually define why any of this is happening! But it all respect it has a respectable level of cinematography, effects and tries to be devious with a semi intelligent plot but it runs out of steam after the initial 20 minutes and fades from memory.

So this average horror opens the a gruesome slow mo scene, some hooded men drag a chained prisoner to a huge Sleepy Hollow (1999) looking tree, they cut down a decaying dead body and pull the man into the branches and stab him to death while incanting from an ancient book, later the tree is chopped down and made into a large ornate bed.

In modern times a group of people are struggling to rent the “BIG BED!!” in a less than charming short stay knocking shop to a birthday foursome, after paying over the top to get the room the two couple start to settling in for the night on a giant four poster bed but things start to get a little.. sinister and after seeing ghostly faces and having on of their party attempt to leave the bed only to be brutalized dragged under the bed and returned as a hot jet of bloody froth akin to Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) or any OTT Japanese production, the scene is set for the horror,after being scared silly by events going on around the bed, the inablity to rasie help these 20 somethings slowly start to sober up and figure out that basically if you get on the bed, you can’t get off alive. Connecting this to the outside world and sending the plot into a twisting roller coaster happens when Virgil (Price) in introduced, the stereotypical cop with a good heart and a dodgy past, drinks on the job but is highly tuned to pick up on the supernatural going ons..

There are a few clever scenes using text messaging, which flashes up on the screen, where the idea of two separate timelines become visible, the officer is messaging one of the few remaining bed fellows and asks them for proof that they are in fact in the same room as him, as they carve their name into the bed, he starts to see it being slowly appear on the remains in this room… this illustrates the levels of spookiness this film achieves.

A lot happens in the first half of the movie, screaming, blood and gore, it’s like Saw of the dead while the group try to work out how to get help and escape the bed, sadly the second half, while introducing clever quips especially regarding timelines and offering a more thinking movie, but also has the effect of making the film feel a little dry. The detective reminded me so very much of Detective Bowden from The Devil (2010), it’s obvious that he has a emotional connection with the beds curse it’s just hard work dragging that secret out. In much the same way the officer in The Devil was inherit to the “moral of the story” his life mimicking the lives of those being afflicted and holding the key to freedom.

It’s watchable, the visuals can be pretty well crafted, and it’s worth sticking with this to see the mystery unravel, although there’s nothing standout about it enough to warrant a rewatch sadly.

Rating 4/10

RDeath Bed : The bed that eats (1977), The Devil (2010),
L – Horror Beds – sleepy time is gore time.
Vs – Bed of the Dead vs Death Bed The Bed that Eats.
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