Milano calibro 9 / Caliber 9 / The Contract (1972)

Director: Fernando Di Leo
Starring: Gastone Moschin, Mario Adorf, Barbara Bouchet. .UK. 1h 42m

Well famed for being the ultimate super cool, cult hit, this is the first of a trio of virtuoso politicization films, the following movies, La Mala ordina/The Italian Connection and Il Boss/The Boss, are all based on a short story collection all using the original names by Giorgio Scerbanenco. Each film stands out for their own powerful impact with straight forward stories harnessing beautiful women, treachery and tons of gratuitous violence.

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Short Movie Roundup 30 May 2021

Future Boyfriend

A cheeky comedy sci-fi piece that looks at time travel and falling in love much like the bizarre romances in Terminator or What We Do in the Shadows.. A couple settle down for a romantic meal but he’s being incredibly odd, announcing to his date that he bag is on her chair and cutting up her food, she’s a bit nervous but is super keen on their relationship.

Ben Rock has a unique ability to really zoom in on this couple and their unique meal as the gent opens up about him background, he’s a career in a state funded nursing home and has looked after the aged woman and fallen in love with her, taking a one way ticket into the past to date the younger her..

Nothing can really be more romantic. But in all honesty he knows every detail of her future self, and seems to love her endlessly but this is all too much and his date walks away, but this isn’t the end. Even his 50+G phone support can’t console him ha ha! Future Boyfriend is a chuckling look into the endless possibility if we ever master time travel.

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Short Movie Roundup 23 May 2021

Unfortunately it’s going to be a short list this week, there’s been so many extra hours at work and a million hours of babysitting and something has to give 😦 unfortunately it seems to be the two things that keep me going.. movies and art. But I do what I can.

Cursed Camera

Hunter Farris has conjured up a quirky haunted camera story. In this humorous horror, any person caught in this cryptic cameras view has to stay in it’s view to stay alive. It’s good to know this before you start making a movie, unfortunately this information comes too late and the latest crew start dropping like flies.

It’s definitely a different take in the subgenre of haunted media, but there’s a dedication to making, and the film feels professional and the touch of humor helps those who try to take their horror too seriously, to step back and enjoy a movie for it’s merits. Definitely worth watching this uncomplicated but effective short with tons of character, the Exorcist meets Ghost Camera.

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Suntan (2016)

Director: Argyris Papadimitropoulos
Starring: Makis Papadimitriou, Elli Tringou. Greece. 1h 44m

Suntan is a movie that’s as slow burning as it’s lead characters’ heavily protected skin. An epic adventure into the darker races of the human condition that follows a middle aged man, who embarks to a remote Greek island to be the only doctor, but instead he thrust into a hedonistic paradise and once the holiday season beings, he finds himself shunted further into an unfamiliar world of casual free love and a dangerous obsession. Directed by Argyris Papadimitropoulos, a Greek filmmaker whose work is totally unknown to me but after watching this shocking and incredibly sad story of sexual obsession. His outlandish style,ability to capture and develop hyper real character and throw some absurd black comedy into such a serious drama, he deserves to be recognised alongside contemporaries such as Yorgos Lanthimos.

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Short Movie Roundup 16 May 2021

Carnivore

Ashton Herrild successfully manages to unwrap a cracking story in his darkly comedic short that sees a young man, now exonerated, attempt to settle into his old life, but things are that simple. The youngster was accused of killing and eating his mother, now a strict vegan , he settles into a diner seat to have lunch with his brother but he’s still under suspicion from the entire town, including his remaining family but it’s a new secret addition to the diners burgers which may hold the key as to what’s going on and it’s a resolution which is bound to cringe you out and make you smile at the same time.

There’s a brilliant vibeance to the way in which Herrild reveals the story, as it slips in and out of reality, we begin to lose perception of what’s real along with the poor lead who’s struggling to grasp what’s happened to the place that he calls home. But it’s not confusing, instead it’s ridiculous and filled with Evil Dead style giggles. It’s a layered movie, mixing shocks and laughs as the vile conclusion is slowly dealt out, but even after the reveal you’re left wanting more and I can only hope that Herrild swings back with another movie soon as this is really great stuff.

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La Mala Ordina / Italian Connection (1972)

AKA Hired to Kill, Manhunt in the City, Manhunt in Milan, Manhunt

Director: Fernando Di Leo.
Starring. Mario Adorf, Henry Silva, Woody Strode, Adolfo Celi. Italy. 1h 40m.

After a shipment of drugs vanishes a rather charming Corso (Cyril Cusack) settles down two confidants and describes the mood for them, Dave Catania (Silva) and Frank Webster (Strode) listen patiently while they are given clear instructions to travel to Italy, where they are to act as American as possible in order to gain the attention of their target, both men speak the language fluently and are more than capable of finding the man suspected of being responsible for the missing drugs and making him suffer. A beautiful local assistant will be waiting on them hand and foot and aiding their mission but the blundering idiot they are sent after might not be quite a useless as everyone suspects.

Small time pimp and crazy headbutting tough guy Luca Canali (Adorfi), seems pretty low key, not the shifty character you’d expect to accidentally lose such a precious cargo. The film partially opens with him spending a pleasant day with his “girlfriend/bottom bitch”in the park then beating up two douchebags using Tekken 2 tactics.But the magic of this film is that Luca is a family man, his stunning ex and beautiful daughter get all his love and attention, and pretty soon the movie shifts from the two tough guys high tailing and it turns into the “Luca show” while he tries to keep ahead of all the mobsters who are now suddenly hot on his tail and all in his slightly comedic style.

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The Dark (1979)

Director: Tobe Hopper, John Cardos Starring:William Devane, Cathy Lee Crosby, Jacquelyn Hyde. USA. 1h 32m

This could have been a real contender as one of the more imaginative bold and vibrant sci-fi thrillers of the late 70’s but it fails on a few fronts which is a crying shame. The total of it’s dismal failures is all down to a ton of rewrites as the director duo of Tobe Hopper and John Cardos scramble around trying to wedge their classic into the shadow of the other highly successful sci-fi movies like Ridley Scott’s ALIEN (1979).

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Hell House LLC II – The Abaddon Hotel (2018)

Director: Stephen Cognetti
Starring:Vasile Flutur, Jillian Geurts, Joy Shatz .USA. 1h 29m

When a team insists on making a trilogy the second movie often fails to hold up it’s own narrative and becomes a filler, this is exactly what happened to Hell House II. After the massive success with the original movie in 2014/5 which broke all the rules, the sequel lacked in energy and passion but just managed to keep the dream alive for the next installment… but first you have to get through this unbalanced, squiffy movie.

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Here Comes Hell (2019)

Director: Jack McHenry
Starring: Tom Bailey, Maureen Bennett, Alfred Bradle, Robert Llewellyn, Timothy Renouf, Charlie Robb, Jessica Webber. UK. 1h 20m

Genre bending comedy horror doesn’t get much better than this frightful mini epic. Here Comes Hell, sees a small group of gorgeous 1930’s socialites hooking up to see one of their friends’ new purchases, which just happens to be a charming haunted mansion located deep in the British wilderness. The party includes a seance as getting a psychic grandma in on your party is thought to be terribly fun.

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The Perfect Getaway (2009)

Director: David Twohy
Starring: Steve Zahn, Milla Jovovich, Timothy Olyphant, Kiele Sanchez, Chris Hemsworth. USA. 1h 34m

There’s a lot to like about this thrilling mystery and there’s a lot to appreciate about a psycho thriller which delivers some really cool (hard to kill) characters set on the beautiful islands of Honolulu. Two couples are travelling and enjoying the Eden-like surroundings, fully aware that there are a pair of serial killers on the loose, each couple are highly suspicious of the other but it’s up to the audience to look for the subtle clues and piece together who just might be a pair of deadly psychopaths.

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