Category Archives: Article

The life and times of Stathis Borans.

Films often serve up amazing deep and detailed characters, the lead stars, the pivotal catalysts of intriguing storylines and many fan bois and gurls spend hours writing fan fiction and dressing up trying to connect with these amazing personalities.

At the opposite end of the spectrum there are the odd characters who seem to be forgotten, cast by the wayside and often have a miserable existence, well I’m going to pay homage to those orphaned characters, often not even good enough to be a sidekick and mostly used as cannon fodder.

I’m kicking off these (potential) series with Stathis Borans. Continue reading The life and times of Stathis Borans.

The Witch : Post Discussion

The-Witch3

Please note that this post discussion is a post discussion! Therefore it’s full of spoilers and discloses information about the ENTIRE film, including the beginning middle and yes the ending, and also these films…damn there is no other films like it..

So if you’ve not seen The Witch (2015) or any of the above, it’s probably better not to read on, instead please check out my spoiler free review here.

THE FILM
There’s something captivating in the demise of this pious family. Since the release of the Witch in 2015 it’s been hard for audiences to fathom what is going on in this occult horror, the curiosity has helped the $1 million gross over $37 million at the box office. Often being found to be boring and diving audiences as it strays away from loud noises, false jump scares and screaming teens flashing a bit of boob, it’s not even all the subtle in it’s approach, there are torturous scenes and graphic violence throughout but as the perceptions of witchcraft are subdued to a mysticism they aren’t perceived as being scary by modern and young audiences. The horror isn’t just aimed at Christians although the Satanic backing does raise many eyebrows and questions, but the ingenious aspect is that it argues on both sides of the religious coin. Continue reading The Witch : Post Discussion

Will Dracula wear a Cape again?

scars of dracula christopher lee

I’m going to attempt to broach a ridiculous question that has bothered me and probably only me for a few years now. I often spend hours on the toilet pondering if Dracula will ever return wearing a cape again.. Probably a good time to point out that these “hours” are cumulative.

More recently there seems to be a shift from Dracula movies to Vlad flicks, it’s nothing new, things often switch from one to the other as trends change, the earliest Vlad movie that I can remember was the Russian 70’s effort, Vlad Tepes (1979), I’m sure there are more but I really enjoyed this film so it gets checked. Continue reading Will Dracula wear a Cape again?

Is it better when you pay?

I do often wonder if I rate movies higher when I see them in the cinema. There have been so many occasions where I’ve been in a cinema watching the end credits,  trying to gather my belongings while brushing off popcorn and I’m already planning the review and score in my head. I start to discuss the film with my buddy/buddies and it’s almost like a group hysteria we’re all generally hyper about the film. On the odd occasion we’re all bummed out about it. I’m not 110% sure on the social psychologies involved, it’s possible that there are group laws working between us, maybe if a group of 6 are positive about a movie then the 7th person will just fall in line??

But are you more likely to give a high rating to a movie just because you paid so much to see it?? After watching a film at the cinema and writing up the review it’s usually a very impressive review. If I feel the need to watch a film later on, say on DVD, sometimes by this time I’m more vigilant to bloopers and ”issues”.. I suppose it’s my fault for getting blind sided by the wow factor of the cinema or not being able to see the screen due to being so fucking short I dunno…

Let’s review the factors here.

Time : sometimes movies have to been seen “at the time” this is one of my biggest problems with modern movies, they aren’t always as timeless as past films, and lose their potency, the effects start to look dated and unlike the timeless films of yesteryear they have a see by date, this isn’t true for all flicks but you get the idea, once an affect has been mastered it’s used everywhere and starts get stale, I recently re watched League of extraordinary gentlemen (20??) and the bad version of the gian hyde looked like he had dropped out of a Sega game.

Cost : It’s not cheap to pop into the cinema these days, unless you have an unlimited ticket you’re gonna end up paying through the nose, 22 squid to see star wars, while it’s about 8 quid on a normal night, i mean after forking out that much cash to sit in a half eaten chair, it had better be worth it right.

Peer Pressure : as I mentioned in the intro maybe it’s just a social pressure, with loads of people bigging up the movie, maybe some people are more inclined to also big up the film?? This is where I generally get outcasted, as I have a knack of speaking my mind. I don’t care if it’s the unpopular opinion.

I’m not sold on the whole idea to be honest… If i paid a week’s worth of shopping to see a film and it was shit I’m gonna say so!! I’d like to think that everyone would!? Maybe even to the point where the cost actually adds to the argument.

So maybe it’s not necessarily better when you pay, but a matter of having a bigger reaction and using the cost to back up outrageous claims. After all if I saw a mediocre movie and was going to give it a bog average 5/10 then factor in that it had cost me £40 for the pleasure of watching it (yeah okay that’s also the price of drinks and a synthetic hot dog too but it all counts) i’m not going to merely give it a 5/10, it has robbed me of my money and forced me to eat a shitty hot dog, it’s not on a revised 2/10 for my discomfort. But then why not add in every crappy factor of the day, the member of staff who looked at you the wrong way, the noisy eaters and cell phone users, the crew filming the movie from the back of the cinema for thier “school project”, yeah it can go too far.

In all seriousness, I do think that the cost  can help sway a review or score as much as a scratched DVD can.

Is it better when you pay?

I do often wonder if I rate movies higher when I see them in the cinema. There have been so many occasions where I’ve been in a cinema watching the end credits,  trying to gather my belongings while brushing off popcorn and I’m already planning the review and score in my head. I start to discuss the film with my buddy/buddies and it’s almost like a group hysteria we’re all generally hyper about the film. On the odd occasion we’re all bummed out about it. I’m not 110% sure on the social psychologies involved, it’s possible that there are group laws working between us, maybe if a group of 6 are positive about a movie then the 7th person will just fall in line?? Continue reading Is it better when you pay?

Will Robert De Niro ever make a decent film again?

Robert De NiroI noticed that De Niro has yet another comedy out this year, and I started pondering why the fuck? Has he no shame, why can’t he just make a sensible and decent film again and be like the old De Niro that I love and cherish? Then the Movie Guys beat me to it, while I was still shocked and sickened they got this question out and answered on there awesome blog (https://jordanandeddie.wordpress.com/) each giving their opinion and here’s mine.

Soooooo……

I still don’t really know how to address this. I am still really shocked. De Niro was one of those actors who similar to Harrison Ford, his name alone could guarantee and sell a movie. You knew that if he was in a movie, you’d be certain of something amazing and great to watch. But now it’s a very different matter.

A lot of actors seem to go through this play down up to their retirement, they start making comedies and playing less of the lead, While De Niro is still playing a fairly active leave and making a lot of comedies it’s just getting too much for me. I hate comedies but I have sat through a couple of his just because I was hoping he would give them an edge and in a way he did but it just wasn’t enough, Last Vegas (2013) was actually OK, predictable at every turn and so warm and mushy it made me gag a little but it was watchable, well once…. maybe twice… but even the other actors in the film were able to go on and make some decent movies afterwards, while De Niro is still just doing lame comedies and family stuff.

He seems to have adopted this funny grumpy old man persona, from what i’ve seen, Last Vegas (2013), Grudge Match (2013) and this new movie Bad Grandpa (2016) that already looks cringeworthy. All seem to be his new wiseguy character. And it’s stale now… I’m thinking this and I haven’t seen all of the other movies in between.

Robert De NiroSo if he’s winding down, why can’t we just leave him to his new found acting life? Well I for one really do believe that he’s got something left in him. I think that if he teamed up with director and lifetime friend Martin Scorsese then he could possibly do something amazing. He is a legend of the cinema and I’m sure that he could pull a good performance out of him once again.

But is that just wishful thinking? Maybe.. He seems very set in his ways and there might be no budging him, It’s great that he’s found an area to work in that he skirted around in previous years. Wiseguy movies aren’t really hot sellers like they used to be and any other TV show that might erupt would just be classed as another Sopranos.

Maybe this is proving that he’s an excellent actor, right now he’s proving that he’s a king of comedy? Something that if it were mentioned back in the 80’s or early 90’s would have been laughed at, but here he is proving it to be true.

Christopher Lee is a classic example of being able to keep your corner tight right up until death and beyond. He’s made the odd comedy film but never sold out, he kept on acting and giving blinde performances throughout his blistering career. Maybe De Niro could lend his vocals to a metal album or two, I reckon Death Metal might be his thing, maybe in a follow up Dethklok album?

He certainly has the energy, he did quite a bit in Grudge Match and Killing Season (2013) so physically I’d pass him for bigger and braver roles, I always thought that he should be a Bond Villain, he can do sinister so well, and who isn’t afraid of De Niro?? He could be a super fantastic Moriarity, or even the US President.. I dunno.. Has he ever made a Western?

Being the optimist I will cast my penny into the wishing well and pray that De Niro does smack us with a beautiful detailed and well crafted performance in the near future. I really should look at his IMDb and see what’s in the pipeline but i’m afraid.

Link to Jordan and Eddie here https://jordanandeddie.wordpress.com/2016/02/05/opinion-piece-will-robert-de-niro-ever-make-another-great-film/#like-7331

 

A Real Hammer Horror Revival

Hammer Horror

 

I know Hammer are making a forced and strenuous come back in what seems to be a deep estranged horror scene. It’s been sad watching them hobble into a scene that they used to be the forerunner of, and now they are simply producing stuff.. nothing special or spectacular.

I’m sat here at the moment watching the Gorgon on the horror channel, (are you surprised?) and I’m loving every second of it (yes while I type), and what saddens me is that as I catch up with the last few horrors of the decade that I had missed, I know I’ll never seen anything else like this again. Last night i watched Dr Terror’s House of Horrors (1965) (not Hammer but Amiucs Productions and pretty much in the same genre) and it tickles me every time. Here I’m watching a lot of the cast from yet another favourite Hammer, Rasputin – The Mad Monk (1966). And yet again I’m still upset that, this era is dead, but does it have to die?

There are lot of other revival style movies out there, some modern films like Machete (2010) and Hobo with a Shotgun (2010) are made in a spoof 80’s style with VHS tracking lines, as per their fake trailers, Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010) lovingly adopted a 70’s/80’s style in it’s homage to older style sci fi video covers and trailers.

Most movies that adopt an older style are usually comedic, because no one makes movies like them anymore to therefore funny right? Disco Exorcist (2011) is a prime example tres comic horror 70’s themed movie, it makes sense though, it was the height of Disco so the movie would have to be set then. And yet Rob Zombie managed to pull of a 70’s theme in most of his movies as it’s his own personal golden age and even though I loathed Lords of Salem it was great to see the retro style running through it, even if has multiple faults.

So why not bring back Hammer Time? I would be so enthusiastic to see another monster thriller with lavish rich colours, maidens in costumes, busty serving wenches,, crazed lunatics, love, old castles and folklore, fading cut scenes and dramatic orchestral accompaniment.

I can already hear the sniggering at the back. shushhh now.

It wouldn’t sell, it would literally be a movie for the fans, the dwindling few of us left. But surely it would have a unique selling point? And who knows, it might actually sprout some decent actors again.

Do you think that a “Classic” Hammer Horror movie could ever be made, taken seriously and be sold to the masses, even as an indie project do you think it’s possible that one could ever be made?

the gorgon hammer horror

New DVDs today

Today I popped into one of my local thrift stores and picked up a few films, total cost, a fiver!

image

So what did I find?
01 – Burn after reading ×
02 – Cloverfield
03 – the Forth kind
04 – the Trial×
05 – Black moon rising

01 – Burn after reading × this is a new one which I will eventually watch, the Cohen brothers are probably one of my favorite director duos but it takes me a while to watch one of their comedies.

02 – Cloverfield – I only watched this for the first time a week ago, I missed the beginning so. Thought it might be worth getting to see all the way through, I thought it was a Godzilla style movie but was impressed with the creature so I might watch this again… And again!
7/10

03 – The forth kind – loved this movie from the get go, had to make do with borrowing from a friend until now. If I were to expand on my list of films that scare me, then this would probably be on that list! Real footage melded with movie footage of a dairy from an abductee. Chilling stuff,…
9/10

04 – the Trial× Another new film, I’m a big Hopkins fan so I hope this will be worth the squid.

05 – Black moon rising – I vaguely remember this from my youth, hopefully it will still be awesome!
7/10

5 Selected – Richard Brake

FIVE BEST RICHARD BRAKE MOMENTS.

The Brake has got to be one of my favourite actors! He’s never had any massive roles that I’m aware of but he consistently appears in a lot of the movies I watch, always with his iconic slicked back blonde hair and dirty ole pervert persona.. I LOVE him.

richard

  • Death machine (1994) – Scott Ridley
  • Doom (2005) – Portman
  • Outpost (2006) – Prior
  • Hannibal Rising (2007) – Enrikas Dortlich 
  • Legacy : Black Ops (2010) – Scott O’Keef

richard (1)

Death machine (1994) – Scott Ridley –  This was my first viewing of Richard. He plays a not to hot shot business dude who pisses off Brad who unleashes his death machine on him. He’s a classic yuppie and dies horribly.

Doom (2005) – Portman – This is my top favourite because you get to see him quite a lot in this movie. Again he plays a douchbag but he like kinky things.. oh man that was good news! I have a signed poster for this film sadly Richard didn’t sign it .. this makes me very sad. Oh yeah and he dies horribly.

Outpost (2006) – Prior – So good to see him with a beard or at least some facial hair.. oh man what a hot flick. He’s not the biggest douche in the movie and he dies horribly.

Hannibal Rising (2007) – Enrikas Dortlich  –  Beautiful and yet terrible death scene I almost expected to hear a pop on that one while he dies horribly.

Legacy : Black Ops (2010) – Scott O’Keefe –  He gets to be a flashback douchbag in this film, who dies horribly..

Notice a pattern emerging here? SCOTT!? Why is he always called Scott? No seriously he dies in everything, more deaths than  Sean Bean.

richard (2)

that grin!!

Yes I’d like to see him play a major role, a proper full time scum bag, that would make all my dweams come twoo.

PREDICTIONS : 28 Months Later

PREDICTIONS : 28 MONTHS LATER

28

I hope I’m not the only one who isn’t sick of this saga just yet, while drinking in the Worlds End Pub (http://www.theworldsend.co.uk) I worked out what was going to happen with 28 weeks later and got laughed at but those fools soon paid up when we went to see the movie!! OH YEAH! I’m loosing hope on seeing any further movies made..

The last movie 28 Weeks Later left us with a Paris torn apart with “infected”. Now I’m guessing the infection would have spread across Europe pretty fast, that leaves America, Australia, Japan and other islands ok..

I’m guessing that Africa MIGHT be okay but I don’t we’ll see a black version on this in the near future.. although Resident Evil 5 does come to mind.. Right so we shall leave that chapter for a while..

So.. Humm..

SCENARIO 1

What I would like to see is that the cast from the first movie are all hauled up in Europe feeling pretty cool then hear news about the infection and go back to basics to survive another plague, after all they have done it before right. The only problem with this is that the original movie had two endings so different people would be involved (I’m trying for no spoilers here.. ) So this idea would be cool but might not be able to get off the ground.

SCENARIO 2

Okay lets stick with Europe for a while, we could have a German version, a French version, Italian version of different people survive, heck we could have a TV series, each season a different county in Europe being taken over by the infected!!

SCENARIO 3

America and the rest of the world will be looking on as Europe is destroyed, maybe trying to evacuate people and fight the war.. maybe they could put down this infection, in the meantime people will start flocking to England as a safe haven island!

This one isn’t as easy at the others to predict, but I would guess the kids who have the carrier gene aren’t the only one, and will all infections they have a tendency to mutate and change into something else, I could imagine that the infection itself could become more stealthy so you wouldn’t know someone was infected by looking at their 2 weeks on the booze blood shot eyes.. What form would it take?

SCENARIO 4

The infection mutates into a virus which is undedicated but will probably be transmitted by blood and saliva, I’m not sure what the purpose of it would be, and no doubt if anyone took this direction it would end up like a pseudo vampire movie with people biting each other to spread the disease. But this is the more likely line as it’s going to have to spread to America for the final movie I think..

Well you can tell that I think about movies WAY too much but I’m done with this for now, if I have any other ideas I’ll update!! In the meantime I’ll be thinking of the next chapter.

 28weeks