Category Archives: Genre

Behind the Candelabra (2013)

BEHIND THE CANDLEABRA (Biography, Drama, Romance, 2013) (15D: Steven Soderbergh C: Matt Damon, Rob Lowe, Michael Douglas 1h 58m  USA 

Based on the autobiographical novel, the tempestuous 6-year relationship between Liberace and his (much younger) lover, Scott Thorson, is recounted.

behind the

 I watched this for the first time last year.. last year!! sounds gay don’t it! it was like a week ago! I love biographical movies and to be honest I knew very little about Liberace so it was an eye opener for me. I finally class Micahel Douglas as an actor! lol He did a great job. I eneded up watching a bunch of Liberace videos on YouTube and he got it down fine!! The story is almost addictive. I adore what they did with the speical effects/make up to get everyone all hollywood fit and tucked! It was quite an interesting mockery of what the showbiz elite think is beautiful and so clever. I love it when this issue is addressed in movies like escape from LA.

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Gnomeo and Juliette (2011)

GNOMEO AND JULIETTE – (Animation, Comedy, 2011) (PGD: Kelly Asbury C: James McAvoy, Emily Blunt, Maggie Smith 1h 40m  UK 

The neighboring gardens of Montague and Capulet are at war, but the gnomes, Gnomeo and Juliet, are in love.

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Yeah I still watch cartoons. Pixar garden version of Romeo and Juliette if you didn’t guess. It’s a kids film but it’s funny as f*ck! I love the flamingo, the teeny rabbits and the kitty clipper.. No something I’d expect anyone on my blog to really watch so i won’t go into any details.

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This must be the place (2011)

*THIS MUST BE THE PLACE – (Comedy, Drama 2011) (15D: Paolo Sorrentino C: Sean Penn,Frances McDormand 1h 58m  Italy | France | Ireland 

Cheyenne, a retired rock star living off his royalties in Dublin, returns to New York City to find the man responsible for a humiliation suffered by his recently deceased father during W.W.II.

thismustbetheplace

I vaguely remember seeing pictures of Sean Penn around dressed up as Robert Smith of the Cure, and people talking about a Cure movie then I heard that it wasn’t a Cure film at all.. so I never bothered with it, but Sean Penn, that hair.. news of an amazing OST. Eventually I had to check it out. It’s one of those passages of life kinda stories. Cheyenne is a fragile retired pop star living in Ireland being all glam and under the radar, When he gets news that his father has died, soon the story changes the quiet recluse pop star into a nazi hunter! Yeah it’s an unusual story which reminds me of the bizarre and surreal road trip that Wristcutters Story turned into. I adore the characters that he meets along the way, each one seems to be very carefully thought out and superbly acted. All owing themselves to Cheyennes own personal recovery, making amends with his late father and family history and dealing with the suicides of two fans. Penn plays a goth pretty well, I like the variations in dress and aversion for society while playing them.
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Gangster Squad (2013)

GANGSTER SQUAD (Crime, Action, Drama 2013) (18) D:Ruben Fleischer C: Josh Brolin, Sean Penn, Ryan Gosling, Holt McCallany. 1h 53m. USA

Los Angeles, 1949: A secret crew of police officers led by two determined sergeants work together in an effort to take down the ruthless mob king Mickey Cohen who runs the city.

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Oh I love this film even though it’s not an actual great movie. I do love the style it was carefully birthed around the same time as LA Noire I think?? Maybe not..  as we all love a 1920’s crime/ganster movie and GAME at the same time and I don’t remember them making a game for this. So La Noire will have to take it’s place. Mickey Choen was one of the lesser glorified gangsters, but then it would take a lot to knock Al Capone off the top spot. Sadly a lot of this movie reminds me too much of The Untouchables, hard working and highly dedicated cop grouping together a bunch of elite officers who share his vision to kick some gangster ass. And while the movie is about 40% slow mo ass kicking and pistol whipping it is still fairly entertaining. Sadly Penn doesn’t really look enough like Choen for it to be really all that believeable but then De Niro didn’t really every look like Capone. I felt no mega pressence from Brolin it was like the director was having a hard time trying to make Brolin tough and dumb AND Ryan Gosling adorable. The only really rememberable characters were the gun slinger and Ribisi they kidna stood out a lot more than the leads..
06

Killing Zoe (1993)

Killing Zoe

(Crime,Drama,Thriller 1993) (18D/W: Roger Avery C: Eric Stoltz, Julie Delpy, Jean-Hugues Anglade, Gary Kemp 1h 36m. USA/France

 killing zoe title

Zed has only just arrived in the beautiful Paris and already he’s up to no good. Having just slept with a call girl, he spends a night on the town with his dangerous friends

 

The movie starts out with the iconic cars scenes shot in the back streets of Paris, one of the only parts of the movie which was actually shot in France.

It was quite iconic along with a lot of early 90’s movies to have that sense of “Libertie” that Paris is supposedly all about, like Nikita and Betty Blue smashed together with films like Reservoir dogs

It addresses the language barrier quite early on.  Most of the cast will speak English when asked to unless they are going to be a pain in the ass like the concierge for example. Although you are pulled through the movie along with Eric Stolts and it’s presumed that you don’t speak any French either. It’s at this early stage of the movie that your introduced to Zoë’s character and this is when the stage is set, who and how is Zoë going to be killed. The sex scene that follows curiously has slips from the 1922 Nosferatu in it, not entirely sure why. The scenes are mostly the arrival to Whitby and the death scenes, so it loosely relates to the arrival of Eric to France, the falling in love with Zoë and ultimately death??

There are a lot of connections between this movie and Reservoir Dogs, three main factors are that RD deals with the before and after of a “job” where are Killing Zoë deals mainly with the job itself, it’s like they are alternative chapters of the same story. Also there is the Epic Tale, In RD it’s Tim Roth telling a story about a faux gangster toilet scene, killing Zoë is a bit more poignant as the joke that Bruce Ramsey/Ricardo tells is about a prostitute and its overhead by Zoë who has pointed out that she’s not a prostitute which is obviously a sore point for her. Finally there is the scene where the cop if fucked up by Michael Madsen/Mr Blonde and the security guard is equally tortured by the bomb blast during the robbery.

From the beginning of the film Eric/Jean Hugues points out that he doesn’t want anyone getting AIDS, obviously this was around the same time that Diamanda Galas was bringing awareness to the “plague” and it was big news worldwide. Again the movie is right on the pulse of Generation X’s thinking.

It’s still a mystery at this stage as Zoë has been kicked out of the hotel and you don’t see her anymore, how the hell does she get killed now?!

Religion.. I didn’t want to mention this as I don’t think it’s the correct reasoning. But I’m not an expert on the colour of bank vaults, maybe they are all painted red. I think it relates to the decent into hell and madness of the main characters. From the first scenes of the film when Eric/Zed is being taken into his hotel room the Red White and Blue colours are prolific throughout the film. It really is about the essence of France. Everyone is trying to show Eric/Zed the REAL FRANCE. Everything at first is predominantly blue with hits of red and white. The hotel/jazz club are all mostly blue in tone, then from the bank job onwards everything gets really red, as the pace quickens and the blood starts to flow.

kiklling-zoe-RWB

Back to the religion side,  of things, the first three characters could be Zed/Jesus Zoe/Mary Magdalene and Eric/Devil. Some of the imagery of him as the devil I think is amazing like the black suit, red background when he is in scene the shot where he flicks his lighter it like the fire/sparks come from him. He just needed some horns!

I have wondered what another sequel would be like, sadly there will never be another Killing Zoe as most of the characters situation, although a follow on could possibly happen as a prequel.

It has a great soundtrack by Tomandandy especially the Canaan song which is based on an old traditional medieval song. BUT it doesn’t appear on the OST. There is a version sung by a dude but not the one that appears in the drive out ending scene, not quite sure why I’ve tried to find it online but it seems the only version that exists is a recording of that final scene!! That’s what I had to do to listen to ..

There is also a cute unaccredited cameo by Ron Jeremy and something I didn’t realise is that Tom Savini did the special effects!? WOAH!

There are some really nice comedy moments in this psychological breakdown between the two friends. We never really work out, Or I never really work out why it’s called Killing Zoë. There are theories that the blood from Eric/Jean Hugues covers them at the end of the film and therefore Zoë will die from AIDS but it got everywhere, he was fucking Tai Thai as well so he’s gonna die from AIDS too if not from the bullet he took in the gut. So it’s really not about Killing Zoë. It’s probably a good time to point out that Zoë is a Greek word for life!? Who knows.

R: La Femme Nikita (1990), Leon the professional (1994) Reservoir Dogs (1992)

Toilet Movies

So after watching Bad Milo (2013) I thought maybe a bit of toilet humor would be in order, after all I’m British and I love this shit.. OOOH PUN time…

Here are a few movies that have helped install the fear of the toilet within all of us. I think there is a time and place in all of our lives where we may have feared the toilet in some way, the sound of the flush or what we might find in it, real or otherwise might just have freaked us out over time. The official name is Parcopresis and i’m sure it can be an irrational fear as well as from terrible childhood memories such as where we flushed poor Mr Moby Dick away.. Probably the best time to mention Dexters Labatory episode Filet of Soul.

01. Bad Milo (2013)
Bad-Milo

Ok this is the movie starting this all off, why? well Bad Milo (2013) is a movie about a some kind of intestine/poo demon and therefore there is a lot of poo/toilet humor in the film and the cutest poo demon ever, I actually kinda want one..I won’t mind him spraying poo over me now and again as long as he kills and eats my enemies. I particularly loved the scene where Milo and his Duncan are in exile and end up chilling out and watching TV together etc.. SO CUTE!!!

02. I brought a vampire motorcycle (1990)

ibavmpoo
This movie is a British Cult Classic and deserves a mention, it doesn’t have a lot toilet scenes but it does have one of the most memorable. The lead character has just lost his friend to a killer motorbike and the night after the funeral descides to drop a load.. then mysteriously he can hear his friend calling him.. from the dead?? no from the toilet bowl.. he looks down and… (vom).

03. Dreamcatcher (2003)

dreampoo
It was mentioned (in the extras) to this movie that the writer/directors wanted to make the bathroom scene do for toilets what psycho did for showers so there was a huge emphasis on a particular bloody ass scene. I’d like to say that it was very right. After all it’s the first place that we might notice something is wrong with us and I would definitely think there was something wrong if I encountered a dead man and an alien in my toilet.

04. Ghoulies (1985)

ghoulies
No brainer here.. a bunch of toilet demons.. the video cover used to scare me as a child I think I spent a lotta time never going anywhere near the bathroom after dark once i had seen that on the video bus 😦

05. Trainspotting (1996)

trainspotting toilet

Best toilet in Scotland.. I must say it stuck in my mind.. even though I’ve never found a toilet like this IN Scotland I do always think of Trainspotting/Scotland when I do find a toilet in this state, which is terrible i know.. If anything in this movie was going to steer you away from taking drugs it would be this scene.

06. ABC’s of Death (2012)

abcs_plunger abcstoilet absc2I don’t want to give away anything to do with the ABC’s of death if you haven’t seen the film, but it was published that T was up for grabs in a competition and the winners video is now a feautre of the movie, and it was mentioned that T is for Toilet.. but there are a few other toilet scenes and you’ll have to check out the movie to find out.

07. Candyman (1992)

Candymantoilet

 

I nearly always forget about the toilet references in candyman, but there are quite a few bathroom scenes, including the abandoned block and the toilet filled with bees and the public toilet myth and reality scenes.. Stopped me from using public toilets for a while.. don’t wanna get my bits cut off innit.

Righto kiddies that’s about all for now but if I think of anymore I will add them to the list.

 

 

 

Slugs (1988)

Slugs (1988)
(Horror, Gore 198) (18) D: Juan Piquer Simón S: Michael Garfield, Kim Terry, Philip MacHale.  1h 29m. Spain

Killer slugs on the rampage in a rural community

TAGLINE : No-one is safe!

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I have a strange slug phobia, I’m happy to admit that and this film proves that all my paranoid illusions about slugs are right, they do kill people!! When will you mortals listen to me!!

No really I can’t stand them so this film was a challenge for me. It’s quite comical having an irrational fear over something that  is so pathetically weak but unless I’m armed with salt I’m useless against a slug.

That’s enough about me.. Now for the film.. It’s so terrible it’s good! I really did enjoy it all the way through it has that euro trashy horroresqe nonesense that I adore. The dubbing is terrible the acting sucks, the scenes are unbelievable it’s like watching a school play on crack. BUT it’s so great, the gore is on top form, the characters are epic from the hot shot douchebag and his drunken manbitch, honestly his girlfriend has a mans voice! Maybe they could only afford one voice actor?

I think there was a golden age of horror movies, where it wasn’t the CGI effects that made the film, the hero’s didn’t have to be pumped or have a remarkably high IQ, they were normal people making out in normal places and getting attacked by latex puppet and that’s what I love.

The monsters in this film aren’t prehistoric, mixed with a shark or octopus, they aren’t over size or are from another planet, they are mutant though but they are still likkle slugs! Just toxic waste slugs! I remember the days when toxic waste or radioactivity made all the heroes and villains.

There was a hidden message in this movie, or at least I felt that it tried to demonstrate that drinking was bad, check out for the signs..

So basically this town somewhere in middle America or Spain is over run by mutant flesh eating slugs and only one man and his friends can help. The film mixes all the best of 80’s horror, mutants, gore, head explosions, a bit of nudity, drunk teens, a mayor and greedy hot shot, horny girlfriends. It’s just fun, even if the slug killer didn’t make sense. Come to think of it, none of it made a whole lot of sense but it is fun to watch.

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Q: “ You don’t have the authority to declare Happy Birthday!

R: Squirm (1976), Shivers/ They Came from Within (1975) Growth (2010), Slither (2006).

BS: If I had to pick one scene I think it would be the head melting wormy dinner scene, mr scumbag who’s gf sounds like a dude is out having an important “power lunch” and his nose starts to bleed like a bad period into this drink.. then it gets messy.. great cinema!!
T: Banned in Australia???

The Cloth (2013)

THE CLOTH

(Horror, Supernatural, Thriller, 2013) (15C: Danny Trejo, Eric Roberts, Rachele Brooke Smith. 1 h 28 min. USA

A godless man is recruited by a secret organization who works to combat demonic possessions in order to prepare a new generation in the battle against evil forces

TAGLINE : The battle for your soul, has begun!

The-Cloth

Oh dear lawd, what an awful movie. The first thing you realise is the crazy lame monologue dialogue, no one has any emotion, the pauses are really long and it’s like a school play.. Actually I’d prefer to watch a school play because the little kiddies usually put some effort it. What else.. oh yes this is a blatant rip off on Constantine (2005) but the star is actually more wooden than Keanu (I never thought I’d ever say that), he gets some cool pokemon style demon fighting gadgets from a low budget M and a cool coat that totally helps him blend in with any crowd.

 cloth

I think the basics of this movie is some unsuspecting youngster realises that he’s the ONLY HOPE FOR MANKIND!!! And he doesn’t want the responsibility, then due to his bloodline only he can use special weapons to fight demons (who are really people who have eaten a lot of blackjacks… black mouthed mofos) and some schit happens, this douchbag also dumps his gf while brushing his teeth.. *brush brush* I dunno how to say this but I don’t think this is working out  *brush – SPIT* I’m amazed he didn’t just drop his kacks and take a pinch a loaf too.

Yeah..anyways…

2/10

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Altered (2006)

Altered

(Horror, Sci Fi, Comedy,  2006) (18) D: Eduardo Sánchez W: C: Adam Kaufman, Catherine Mangan, Brad William Henke 1h 28m. USA

TAGLINE : They will find you…

Fifteen years ago, a group of men’s lives were forever changed by a strange occurrence. Now, the same group of men will spend a night together … in terror.

altered

I went into this one totally blind, a friend, The Gavster recommended it, I’m not quite sure why, heck I can’t remember how it got mentioned but I have to admit that it’s not a movie I would have normally picked up in the Rental Shop. I would have guessed it was a movie about Red Neck mutants, something between Wrong Turn and Cabin Fever (2000).. maybe?

Instead I get an alien abduction movie, but the major difference is that the alien is being abducted. I love it when a cliché gets turned around.

So the movie starts with a bunch of red necks running around a field, at first I thought there moonshine bootleggers but it turns out they are alien hunters!! After being abducted by aliens and returned to earth slightly altered, a group of pissed off young men seek revenge.

From the snippets of conversation and interactions give a pretty clear indication that one of the party died on board the ship, this no doubt was the fuel for this attack. So they hatch a (drunken) plan to kidnap and torture their abductor, or possibly just an alien in the wrong goddamed corn field. YEEE HAA!

 

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The guys are pretty clued up on how crazy ass shit the alien is gonna be once captured and no doubt from their previous encounters they know how to capture and hurt the pissed off little guy. Much to everyone’s enjoyment things get crazier and stranger as the movie progresses.

The acting is great, I do believe the characters have a good level of depth and are very believable . I did like hot they tied in with the characters from Fire in the Sky (1993) and from the impression you get from their life after the abduction stories this movie could be the black comedy sequel. Yes I said Comedy.. this is the kind of movie I put in the comedy box… tongue firmly in a dark cheek.

Don’t let the comedy tag deter you, it’s not all shits and giggled, there is a dose of gore, some intestine tug of war, explosions of the cranium and some cute and bizarre alien schit, the lil green guy is a cross between a Gremlin (1984) with a big chip on his shoulder and the mask from Satan’s Little Helper (2004) toss in a can of Monster and away he goes.

All in all I actually liked the movie, there isn’t much to it, but it’s fun while it lasts, the story is pretty original and has a dose of everything you need for a entertaining movie. There is a lot of jumps, scares and tension but it’s loaded with a few sick jokes. I do admire when a movie doesn’t rely on a prequel or hundreds of dreamy flash backs to illustrate past events.

T: Was originally planned as a horror/comedy with the title “Probed”.

Q: a lengthy one…

 

Cody: [wielding harpoon] Let’s do it!

Otis: Hey, I think we oughta wait a minute.

Duke: Don’t go pussy on me.

[cocks his gun]

Otis: I’m not man, I just think…

Duke: Don’t!

Otis: This is the stupidest goddamn thing I’ve ever done.

BS: I really did like the guts tug of war. it was lacking some blood but totally hilarious and scary.

RGremlins (1984), Fire in the Sky (1993)

 

6/10

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Home sweet home (2013)

HOME SWEET HOME
(Thriller, Gore, Horror, 2013) (18D/W: David Morlet  S: Megham Heffern 1h 20m. USA.

A young married couple comes home from a date night to discover that they are imprisoned in their own house with a methodical killer.

hshome

How strange, two movies with the same name, same synopsis made in the same year! The only way I could tell them apart is by the running time. Remakes are getting quicker and quicker! I thought Quarantine (2008) was made pretty soon after Rec (2007)

This is another Home Invasion movie but in a very different style, it has charm, it’s very quiet and the intruder is genuinely very creepy as is his mask. He’s as sadistic as the Collector (2009) but more believable as he doesn’t rig up Saw traps in every room in under 3 minutes.

The beginning is a bit lengthy, silent introduction into the movie, while the villain settles in, tucking in the baby and lubing himself up for the night. Literally lubing his head up with Vaseline.. Obviously it’s his thing…

The real tension starts when the couple, a young married coule return home after an evening at the theatre, they briefly settle in before the uninvited guest makes his appearance known.

Slow paced but brutal is the best way to describe this movie, it’s similar to Funny Games (1997) or the Strangers (2008), you’ll notice something in the background and then WHOA blood! It mimics the directors other horror, Mutants (2009) and does have a very Euro Film feel to it.

There is a very different structure to Home Sweet Home that works for this style of movie, often with films directors will try and introduce the characters in great detail to make you love or hate them to cause a deeper reaction when the shit hits the fan, it doesn’t happen in here and it’s great because you don’t become annoyed with the characters, instead the sheer horror of a home invasion strike enough fear into the viewer. Lets face it, it’s pretty unpleasant… you get a pretty good idea what the couple are like in the brief introduction.

Another striking factor is that unlike other home invasion movie this one is well lit and you can clearly see what is going on, there is a bit of sneaking around but it’s not in the shadows. A majority of the movie is a showdown between the intruder and the wife and both actors nail the performance totally.

A great twist at the end, actually a pretty good ending considering the pace and tension, it still gives a little kick at the end on top of all the others.. It’s not the best film ever but it’s certainly one of the more memorable home invasion movies and it worth a watch.

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Q: Not many quotes I’m afraid.. this is a pretty silent film.

BS: I have to say that I really did love the introduction where the guy smears himself with Vaseline.. and there is a strange art house style scene where a ball bounces down the stairs.. TENSION!!! It’s simple and extremely affective.

R: Strangers (2008), Funny Games (1997), Cherry Tree Lane (2010) , Ils/Them (2006).

7/10

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