La Weekend August 1

 

District 9 (2009) – I was flabbergasted when I realised just how much this film was hated, I got my copy for free when I asked if anyone has seen it, people were giving it away.. so I was a bit dubious about watching it, but I was hooked within seconds.. it’s a mockumentary look at a group of alien (workers) who have go stuck in South Africa. The effects are brilliant, both the alien technology and “Prons” design look and “feel” impressive. Obviously the setting is key, the messages are deep an poignant. The film is elevated by the amazing and life changing performance from ?? who plays Vikers he goes through every emotion and reacts in non Hollywood’s way, giving a more interesting and diverse story. Personally I find it so attuned and turned on, I was really hoping for a sequel, but I guess I’ll have to sit quite tight. [REVIEW]10/10

La Weekend July 5

Ghostdog (1999)

One of those life changing movies, and continues to be my go to film from time to time, a small indie movie graced by some impressive names, just because it’s that darn good of a film. Ghostdog is a lonely character, is only friend is a French speaking ice cream seller, his passion is Bushido and his Pigeons. After being saved by a mob boss, his adapted the way of the Samurai and looks upon this man as his master and he is a retainer. The mafia uses his dedication and sends him out to do hits. One goes awry and the mob turn on Ghostdog, but they don’t’ know who they are fucking with. Forest Whittaker plays the main character and he’s perfect, RZA had a hand in it’s production and the soundtrack takes a facet from each style of black music, it almost started a movement, (black) urban samurai 9/10

La Weekend July 2017 – 3

Oh dear it was a bit of a crappy movie weekend, I had a lot of new stuff to see but I panned most it all for crappy stuff as I spent most of the weekend painting and being a general douchbag. So after watching hours of rubbish on YouTube I eventually got around to some TV movies.. yeah I know I say I don’t watch it and I don’t, unless there is a movie on..

Passenger 57 (1992) – I used adore this movie when I was a teen, mostly due to the hot 90’s hair action going on, but it was one of the more talked about action films (on the playground)..  John Cutter (Westley Snipes) is a former police officer and now has the pleasure of escorting a terrorist Charles Rane (Bruce Payne) on his flight to the FBI, somehow, he takes over the plane and the two men have to physically and mentally psych each other out. It’s a bit laughable now but I think it will always hold a special place in my heart, but it’s nowhere near as awesome as New Jack City.. It was possibly one of the last films Rane did while he was still semi hot. and Tom Sizemore was on his verge of slipping into a drug coma. All said and done I think I found Con Air more re watchable and that’s saying a lot… 5/10

La weekend MAY 5

It was a long weekend with hardly any sleep so plenty of films watched, I think I got my total for the month to 87!

Running man 7/10

*Campire Tales 7/10

Barbarella 10/10

*Hobsons Choice 9/10

Black Hawk Down 8/10

*Mikey 6/10

*Ghost Rider : Spirit of sommit 3/10

*Juggernaut 8/10

*300 Rise of an empire 6/10

Seven Swords 9/10

*Oculus 7/10

Die Hard 4.0 6/10

*The Trial 5/10

*=new

 

Running man 7/10 – All time favourite sci fi film, it’s not accurate and has plot holes and isn’t brilliantly acted, but it’s fun and I love it and I feel no guilt.

*Campire Tales 7/10 – horror anthology, sadly it’s most of the urban legend stories that got really boring in the 90’s but I still like it. It’s just a bit of fun. Sweethearts with claws hanging on their car after a quick exit, ghosts, werewolves and all sorts going on.

Barbarella 10/10 – another fun movie, and one of my childhood favourites, I am totally in love with the Great Tyrant.. psychedelic nonsense and smexy fun 😀 also while watching this I remembered that I need to find a copy of Blueberry the Psychdelic Western!!

*Hobsons Choice 9/10 – Settled down with my mother for a bit, she pulled this out of her collection.  It’s a great story with some trippy DT drunken scenes and the ever so talented Charles Laughton at his best.

Black Hawk Down 8/10  – apparently a man film, so I popped my Johnson out and watched with glee..

*Mikey 6/10 – This movie is/was banned and I understand why but it’s so tame now.. basically a child psycho who’s too cute to be thought of as a cold killer but I would have punched his face in a long time ago.

*Ghost Rider : Spirit of sommit 3/10 – Nic cage does stuff, but Idris Elba is amazing with his lil French accent! Wine drinking crazy guy!! Huzzah Elba.

*Juggernaut 8/10 – I can’t believe I had never heard of this before. Directed by the guy who did the early Mustekeer movies and features all the cream of 1970’s Brit acting, a series of bombs are planted on a cruise ship by the Juggernaut and a team of awesome guys are dropped in to disarm them.. it’s better than that made it out to be. Tense psychological thriller innit.

*300 Rise of an empire 6/10 – what the f*ck!? It’s watchable, made little sense and was no improvement on the first movie.. but there are a few good action scenes.. even if the fake oceans and blood are OTT.

Seven Swords 9/10 – East Asian epic based on a long running tv show, more swordplay than a epic swordplay thing. It’s a clever action mystery.

*Oculus 7/10 – Oooh.. this could have been scary.. like REALLY scary but instead it was a bit creepy… Still some interesting ideas on haunted mirrors, sadly missed on the gore and gave us weak family drama instead of bulking up on carnage.

Die Hard 4.0 6/10 – everyone knows this one, it’s like Die Hard IT edition.

*The Trial 5/10 – I don’t even what the?

 

LA WEEKEND MAY 3

A long and hot weekend but some good filmage. Sadly I managed to pick up a Belgium movie with no subtitles!! Ideas people??

• Killing Season
• Bully
• Twilight – Eclipse
• X Men First Class
• A Fistful of Dollars
• *Cloverfield
• Grimm Love
• Phantasm
• Dog Soldiers
• *Zombie Holocaust.
• Dorian Grey

Killing Season – this was unusual, I was expecting, I only knew that Robert De Niro was in the movie but Travolta!! REALLY, the hair implants are looking good but sadly the part should have been given to Scott Adkins and made into a brutal truth kinda film. Still it was fun to watch.

Bully – back to the brutal, crazy teenage violence and debauchery, just how I like it. Makes me happy to be old.

Twilight – Eclipse – Yeah I watched it AGAIN I love a good romance, actually what I prefer to do is turn the sound down and dub it myself..

X Men First Class – Now this is everything we expect for a prequel, it’s a bit family friendly and lets face it, those were dark days in the x men history, Still it would have been nice to see more taken from the comics and less clothes on Jason Flemyng please..

A Fistful of Dollars – Oh wow.. I forgot about how awesome this film is. The only person missing from this is franco the a$$hole nero but otherwise perfection.. simple perfection.

*Cloverfield  – would you believe it, I had avoided Cloverfield until now!! I thought it was Rubberduckzilla killing everyone.. but it was something else.. something much smellier.. I’d imagine.. It was okay for a found footage film, not the best, the camera the guy picked up just happened to be better than anything in holywood aint that great and err.. it never got cracked or dirty how awesome! There are flaws but otherwise it’s pretty entertaining.

Grimm Love – killer BJ’s and general nastyness, hey did you know that I talked with the cannibal this is based on.. he’s a really nice guy!

Phantasm – OH I’ve not seen this since the days of VHS! So there were a few moments I didn’t remember, the whole movie plays like a really bad dream which is always a plus in my books. It was good to catch up, just gotta watch the next 8 movies or sommit now.

Dog Soldiers – I don’t need to talk about this one do I?? It should have been part of the Hammer Horror revival, but got binned then picked up by a more creative team. Great film, about as much comedy as I can handle in one horror film.

*Zombie Holocaust. – A new one for me!!  Same islands, natives, hero’s, director, special effects team and OST as many other Zombie movies but so cool, anyone notice that the doctor looks like a hobo version of Harvey Keital?

Dorian Grey – last movie of the weekend it was 2am but strangely I remember watching the film  before and thinking it was a massive failure but it wasn’t that bad.. I still think that it needed more of an OST some charm and character and Dorian could have been a real bad boy but it will continue to be a hard story to entertain for me. I am still in love with the original.

La Weekend July 3

I’m BACK!

I have been away from this for so long, But never fear I’ve still been watching a silly amount of movies and for some reason Full Metal Jousting!!

I’ve got a lot of catching up to do so here it goes!

La Weekend July 3

• THE EAGLE
• EYE OF THE BEAST
• ZEITGEIST : MOVING FORWARDS
• PREDATOR
• WASTELAND
• PARADISE LOST 3
• ATTACK THE BLOCK
• REC 2

The Eagle – I remember this coming out at the same time as a lot of other Romanesque movies, but apparently this one was WAY better, needless to say I saw it last and it was basically identical to Centurion.. but with more homo action. Don’t get me wrong I’ve got nothing against gay peeps at all.. but I was hoping for Billy Elliot to make out is all.. Humm.. a bit boring really..

Eye of the beast – Some schit happened I suppose.. A schithole of a port is attacked by a Kracken style sea monster.. Kinda like Jaws with tentacles.. but not as dynamic as Sharkopus.. or great acting, or a great story or a great anything.. next please.

Zeitgeist : moving Forwards – FCUK ME! You know those movies that change your perception on life..well this is one of those! It’s a Documovie but makes so much sense.. It’s long but I do recommend that everyone watches this and check out the website – http://www.zeitgeistmovingforward.com/

Predator – I needed a bit of comfort and for Billy to get me out of this HOLE billy! I will wank over this movie at a later date as I’m sure everyone has seen it.

Wasteland – This movie stated out with a lot of promise, gritty brit flick, lots of familiar faces, great acting, but what a fag ending.. I love a good twist at the end or a great reveal like Unusual suspects (1995), but this twists and turns like a muvafcker and after the third one I just didn’t care anymore and it ruined it for me.

Paradise Lost 3 – I couldn’t find the second instalment but as it’s all based on real events I don’t feel that I’ve missed anything seeing the pre jail and freedom story. Still a VERY good film and told in the best way possible.

Attack the Block – I have been meaning to see this for some time, I was a bit reluctant to watch due to the comedy roots of the director but it was bearable.. The effects were amazing and the tension of the chase spot on.

Rec 2 – I watched this with my mummy so I could ensure my safety and that I could have someone to mop up my pee.. this still scares my pants off (lights on tonight). Amazing Spanish zombie/possession movie. I do adore that the take on the zombies were enforced as being demonic possession in this series.

 

LA WEEKEND 2013 JUNE 3

It was a long weekend and I did a lot of travelling but I also did a lot of movie watching!

I visited my favourite lil cinema in chinatown!

• NO ONE LIVES
• KYNODONTAS/DOGTOOTH
• THE BOUNTY
• PUMPING IRON
• PUMPING IRON II
• RETURN OF SABATA
• HOWLING 2 – YOUR SISTER IS A WEREWOLF
• THE CREEPING FLESH
• WORLD WAR Z
• HATCHET II
• THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY
• NIGHT TRAIN MURDERS – missed the end L
• THE DEVILS ADVOCATE
• THE DEVILS DOUBLE – only watched half L

 

NO ONE LIVES – I had no idea about this film it just kinda cropped up. It does have a cool, slightly alternative story, it was just executed poorly, it kinda plays like the early part of Devil’s Rejects in reverse with a few Saw traps.

KYNODONTAS/DOGTOOTH – This movie instantly gets a 10/10 from me. It’s films like that I live for! Strange situations, obscure dialogue, totally unique and a fresh breath of cinema air.

THE BOUNTY – I’m trying to work out a “five best moments” post for my main cinema man Sir Anthony Hopkins! So I’m catching up on a few films I missed along the way. For a remake this was pretty good.

PUMPING IRON – I don’t know if anyone is aware on here but I started weight lifting as part of my “new me” programme about 5 weeks ago, my new weights were ordered while watching this! Although I have to admit that I wasn’t quite expecting so much cumming lol

PUMPING IRON II – luckily there is a lady version too! I was a bit upset with the god girl, how sad can one person be but I was routing for the Auzzie lass to be honest, she’s the only one who looked like she had any balls to become anything new…

RETURN OF SABATA – I’ve watched this so many times but always miss bits I will rewatch again and pay more attention but not as good as Sabata..

HOWLING 2 – YOUR SISTER IS A WEREWOLF – WTF is this all about! I loved howling and have been watching all the sequels (in no order, just as I find them) and despite the Christopher Lee scenes it’s pretty pants, lots of snarling and hair though.. pretty 80’s.

THE CREEPING FLESH – Old school favourite movie!!! I adored this as a kid, despite the monster freaking me out A LOT! But it still is amazing to watch Cushing and Lee had such a rapport.

WORLD WAR Z – I gave in to see how they butchered the book and it looks like it’s going to be World War Z part 2.. it’s an ok movie, a little far fetched but hey it’s sci fi.. I don’t think it’s going to down in cinema history for anything spectacular.

HATCHET II – talking about Part 2.. I’m catching up with the Hatchet Triligoy, I really loved the first movie, it was great seeing a kid from the 80’s keeping the old horror movie themes alive and creating such a great new horror character to love. Now this movie is pretty much a rehash of the first movie with some of the original cast, it’s kinda in the similar vein as how Evil Dead 2 was kinda a reinvention of Evil Dead.

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY – A bit of black and white with my Sunday roast! Amusing real life story of a German POW who had many great escape attempts.

NIGHT TRAIN MURDERS – missed the end L The DVD I got just stopped playing part way though I’m gonna give it another go but I am so frekked peeved that this isn’t playing!!! It had all the classic styles and themes that a good retro Italian horror needs!! GRRR

 

 

THE DEVILS ADVOCATE – I avoided this movie for so long, Keanu has never interested me as an actor and Pacino is a bit samey all the time. It was an okay movie but a bit let down for us occultist.. but… saying that it was like listeing.. to Entombed – Morning Star Album – http://lyrics.rockmagic.net/lyrics/entombed/morning_star_2002.html#s09

THE DEVILS DOUBLE – only watched half  – This was starting to look promising when I dropped off… I shall continue it another day.

La Weekend 2013 June 3

Le Weekend

A quite weekend but not the best movie weekend… Still it ended with a band, note that Watchtower followed by the Lodger were he final movies of the night.

• Mutant Hunt
• Lost in the Desert
• Paradise Lost – The child murders at robin hood hills
• Rise of the planet of the apes
• 24 Hour party people
• Devilman
• 23 – Nichts ise so wie es scheint
• Into the abyss
• Chernobyl Diaries
• Tales from Gimli hospital
• Apartment 143
• Shrine
• Watchtower
• Murder set pieces
• The Lodger

MUTANT HUNT  – 1980s lo fi sci fi at it’s best by being the worse! A beautiful Casio keyboard and guitar OST accompanies this imaginative but badly presented robotic sci fi flick.

LOST IN THE DESERT – One of those based on a real life story movies from South Africa. A young boy is stranded in the desert with his dog and wits.

PARADISE LOST – THE CHILD MURDERS AT  ROBIN HOOD HILLS – Another real life story event movie. This one was presented in a way where it took no sides and no prisoners, brutal photo of the murders in addition of real life interviews with all the people involved and court room footage.

RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES – I’m a bit late this this one but it was a good story, it had some progression and a good solid beginning to a old school sci fi classic.

24 HOUR PARTY PEOPLE – I’ve been meaning to see this film for so long purely due to Sean Harris preforming as Ian Curtis, there was more to the film than that, but nothing as amazing as his performance. Lots of cameo’s and well devised.

DEVILMAN 3 – OMG!! Finally found the third instalment of the Devilman saga!!!! The characters were a little weaker than the first two movies but then.. well I don’t want to spoil it but it didn’t matter how crap they were, still a great epic devil fight scene but poor movie compared to the others.

23 – NICHTS ISE SO WIE ES SCHEINT –  Yet another based on a real life story movie, this one is the original hackers, when kids/people used Commodores, phone lines and Atari’s to hack into systems.. add in drugs, paranoia and the number 23 and you have a tragic but wonderful introduction to cyber life and hacking.

INTO THE ABYSS –  I was on a role, another real life story of an incredibly young man and the crimes surrounding his final days on death row. Again this one does not point any fingers but allows everyone to have their say, it’s quite raw and there are some tears…

CHERNOBYL DIARIES – As recommended by a friend because it’s “quite good” I think he meant “crap”.. cheers buddy! The movie was okay but very predictable and lame at times. Very good bear scene though…

TALES FROM GIMLI HOSPITAL – Hello surrealism my old friend! A black and white theatrical, almost David Lynch style story. Very visual and like no other. It’s often I see two men wrestling with bleedy buttocks..

APARTMENT 143 –  Supernatural horror, part ghostly, part possession, pseudo found footage. Nothing new for the genre but watchable.

SHRINE –  One good scene with a statue which is reminiscent of Dr Who.. the rest of the movie was poorly delivered and boring.

WATCHTOWER – I’m a fan of quite long shot slow drama and this was AMAZING!! I love this movie, it has so much going on under the surface, it’s beautiful if not slightly difficult to watch..

MURDER SET PIECES – A movie from the top 50 disturbing list.. it’s okay.. there is a slight story going on.. but most of it is random boobs, blood and screaming in German.. it’s okay for gore lovers, like Guiney Pig 2 but with less character. Great cameo from Tony Todd

THE LODGER – Alfred Hitchcock classed this as his first movie (twas the third) It is amazing from beginning to end and will never loose it’s impact.
GAH! so many movies.. I forgot..

JOYEUX NOEL – It’s a great movie but the badly lip synched singing really peeved me off.. apart from that a great great movie.. if your into WW1 shizzle

LA WEEKEND… 2013 JUNE-02

It was supposed to be a quiet weekend with a bit of movie catching up. Instead I just watched a lot of Tales of the Unexpected.. (yes I know.. again.. Season 5 and 6 are all done and now onto Season 7 only two more to go).

In the meantime I did force in a few more movies. These included…

• VHS2
• AXE GIANT
• PREY ALONE
• TORTURED
• EXORCIST THE BEGINNING
• HUMMINGBIRD

VHS2 – I really enjoyed this sequel I didn’t think it was better than the first movie but it was really good. Full review on this coming up soon. Basically it’s another dose of short “real life” found footage bizarre horror.

AXE GIANT – Oh man I didn’t see the subtitle on this it’s connected with Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue OX! I was expecting Norse Gods!! DAMMIT. Instead it’s a bunch of lame first time offenders and a lame Capt. Hartman impersonator.

PREY ALONE – This is an amazing 15 minute movie! All CGI, tough, gritty, a good plot and action we need more movies like this.

TORTURED – Dammit I gone done it again I wanted THE TORTURED! But I brought the wrong one.. Never mind!!!! I still enjoyed the film, it’s not the most thrilling but I loved watching Cole Hauser get a rectal search.. yes I’m a sick puppy!

EXORCIST THE BEGINNING –  The original prequel to the Exorcist and later remade as Dominion because this was apparently so rubbish.. and as ever I prefer this version. Dominion was cool because you got to commune with the devil but I really liked the message in this film.

HUMMINGBIRD – A big disappointment, I think someone was trying to prove that Jason can act and be a good guy etc, it has failed every times he’s ever tried.One good dream sequence scene and Jason gets to f*ck a nun.. not a pretty hammer horror busty nun either.. what’s going on man?

And the rest of the weekend was 25 min short horror, thriller, mysteries.. oh they are sooooo good!

La Weekend June 1

LA WEEKEND…

Pretty uneventful weekend but one that I spend a lot of time working out and spending time with my mama. I did re discover tales of the unexpected which took up a lot of my time but there is no point in reviewing each one, I might do it season by season.

• JAWS 2
• GET  CARTER
• CABIN IN THE WOODS
• MASQUE OF THE RED DEATH
• PROMETHEUS
• JAWS OF SATAN (COBRA)
• CREEPSHOW
• HAMMER OF THE GODS
• WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT
• THE BAYTOWN OUTLAWS
• REQUIEM FOR A DREAM
• THE LODGER

JAWS 2 – I always find it odd that they did such an amazingly good job with the first movie but then really make the second look like a fake crap shark!? I worked out why none of the other movies are as good as the first, it’s simply missing Quint! “Here’s to swimming with bow legged women”.

*GET  CARTER – I don’t often watch remakes and this is another reason why! I tried really hard not to swear at my TV during the whole movie.. I gave up after the first 20 minutes.

*CABIN IN THE WOODS –

recommended by a good movie buddy Gav(meister), and he’s right it is a good movie, not a GREAT movie but I really did enjoy seeing the hordes of monsters. I was first put off by the sci fi element in a cabin movie but in the end I really enjoyed it.

MASQUE OF THE RED DEATH – I never get sick of this movie, it’s a pleasure to watch. Lavish colours, great plot and if you have great DVD controls a dubstepping dwarf.

PROMETHEUS – Mama hadn’t seen this, despite it being in the house for so long, after a long discussion about robots and how they shouldn’t be pricks we eventually watched the film. I do like the film but I get really annoyed that it doesn’t answer any questions.

*JAWS OF SATAN (COBRA) –Oh!! I’ve had this on the to watch list for a week or two.. I was hoping for an old school gem, but instead I got a comedy.. but a few beers and it’s quite enjoyable.

CREEPSHOW – another film I never tire of even though I know it all off by heart! I wish we could have some more creepshows.. I fear that modern cinema would balls it all up but you gotta keep the dream alive.

*HAMMER OF THE GODS – It was hard watching this because it was so bad but I like to give everything a chance..

*WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT – I had a lot of expectations for this movie, I was hoping for dodgy retro prints, council fireplaces and things being chucked around the room and it did not fail to supply that, sadly for some reason my end credits were in German!???

*THE BAYTOWN OUTLAWS– One of my little sisters newest all time favourite movies, it’s not Hell Ride BUT it is a brilliant thrill ride!

*REQUIEM FOR A DREAM – I think this is on the disturbing list.. not sure why!? It tackles a few difficult subjects but they aren’t anything which isn’t already commonplace? I know it’s hard for some people to look into the lives of addicts but addiction isn’t all that rare. Maybe I’m too hardcore.

*THE LODGER  – urgh I thought this was the Alfred Hitchcock 1920’s movie it has that cover.. but this is the 1940’s movie!!! How do people get away with this. Either way it still tells a creepy story about a mysterious lodger during the Jack the Ripper killing season.

*New Movie

Reviews to come..