Category Archives: Movie Reviews

SHALLOW GROUND

SHALLOW GROUND

(Horror, Thriller 2004) (18) D/W : Sheldon Wilson S: Timothy Murphy 1h 37m. USA

TAGLINE : Fear your past… it will find you.

A naked teenage boy covered in blood appears at a remote sheriffs station one year after the brutal unsolved murder of a local girl.

Another low budget; or at least TV grade easy to guess the end flashing photography poor excuse for a horror movie. OK I’m being callous but as much as this movie tells an out of the ordinary supernatural story it also sucks. Maybe this could have made a better Tales of the Unexpected or Outer Limits episode rather than dragging out a pretty obvious story. I did like the first half of the movie a story starts to form and progress but then it hits a brick wall and a series of lame dream sequences take over and left me begging for the end despite the uber appealing Timothy Murphy.

3/10

03

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Green Street (2005)

(Crime, Drama, Sport, 2005) (18) D/W: Lexi Alexander W: Dougie Brimson 1h 49m. UK

TAGLINE: Stand Your Ground and Fight.

A wrongfully expelled Harvard undergrad moves to London, where he is introduced to the violent underworld of football hooliganism.

Another footie hooligan movie and another Elijah Wood being a preppy yank in the UK!? I remember trying to believe his character in The Oxford Murders (2008) but it was really hard. This was just as difficult, I just can’t take the freaky eyed hobbit all that serious. Anyway I really enjoyed Cass (2008) and Awaydays (2009), this doesn’t have the gritty nature of the other two but it does feature some of the cast. As a passage to manhood movie for little Elijah it’s not that bad, a lot of it was totally unbelievable but it was a good movie.

There are some interesting snippets in the movie, I think to try and illustrate that hooligans are real people too?

Anyhoo.. . Elijah’s sister has hooked up with an ex hooligan gone straight because he’s now a responsible father (yeah it happens just like that) The ex football hooligans little brother is also a thug and ends up baby sitting Elijah and chucks him into a world of violence with he laps up with gusto! Lots of crazy shizzle happens and there is a big stand off with Millwall who never disappoint.

Elijah comes across as a choirboy corrupted in this film but even by the end he still seems to be a little kid, maybe some facial hair would help here? The movie is totally owned by  the gang leader Charlie Hunnam, who shows a more honest manly dose of aggression and compassion which holds the entire movie together.

T: Cass Pennant makes a cameo. Q: “So he’s a Yank AND an undercover “journo”, looks like we’ll have to give the boy two funerals”.

R : Cass (2008), Awaydays (2009), The Oxford Murders (2008), Rise of the foot soldier (2007).

6/10

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Awaydays (2009)

(Drama, Sport, 2009) (18) D: Pat Holden W : Kevin Sampson. 1h 45m. UK.

On the Wirral in the grim early years of Margaret Thatcher’s premiership, the opportunities for thrill seeking young men looking to escape 9 to 5 drudgery.

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Carty wants to become part of the “pact”; a footie hooligan group from the Wirral, he shoe horns his way into the gang via the acid tripping, dope smoking big dreaming Elvis, who takes him under his wing. Carty has some big dreams on how the Pact is run;  but without much experience he thinks he’s a fully fledged hooligan. There are members of the Pact who are willing to help his and others willing to give him a trial by fire. Young Carty never quite sees the bigger picture of ever knows where he stands.

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You get the impression that Carty is a angry young man who loves to fight but through his confusing relationship with Elvis and a hot temper he just shows himself up to be a fool, which in turn sends him over the edge and the cycle goes on again.

I adore the cinematography in this film, while focusing in on the strained relationship of the two young men it still shows the grim scenery of “oop north” with the added depressive OST you start to connect with the pacts need to go out and fight.

Commonly this film gets slated as being boring, he’s a drama, it’s not about the glorification of football hooliganism, it’s more of a coming of age movie. Carty wants so desperately to be a part of a group that aren’t willing to accept him. He gets so caught up with being around the group that he misses all of the dangers.

L : http://www.awaydaysthemovie.com/

adidas-away-days

OST :  The soundtrack for this film is amazing and is worth having! It includes Cabaret Voltaire, Joy Division,  Ultravox, The Cure, Echo and the Bunnymen, OMD, The Jam, Teardrop Explodes,

Q :  “Well roody doody carty la”

BS : I adore the scene where the boys are buying music and nut the goth, I’m a goth but that guy was beggin for it. * My sisters favourite scene is the epic acid trip that Elvis has. I think it’s also worth pointing out that there is a great pivotal scene in the confessional box.

T : this is more of a goof, spotted by my sister. When Carty gets Elvis on the guest list, Elvis is wearing a “The Crow” t-shirt depicting Brendon Lee as Eric Draven . That movie came out in 1994 whereas this movie is set in 1979.

RCass ( 2008) , Green Street (2005), Control (2007)

9/10

 

Le weekend..

Le weekend Sat 25th, Sun 26th and Mon 27th of May 2013.

It was a bank holiday weekend but I seem to have watched fewer movies than a normal weekend!? I’m not sure how I managed that but I guess I did. This is the list of films, reviews to come!

DREAMSCAPE (1984)  – An old favourite of mine from the 80’s I used to get all freaked out and had to watch this with my mum! 7/10

HERO (2002) – Old school classic, I watched this with my ma to start the weekend rolling! 8/10

*ABBY (1974) – I dunno how I’ve missed this movies all these years, a little comical due to the age of it but actually quite a cool possession movie. 6/10

*CELDA 211 (2009) – WOAH! I adore European and South American prision movies, this is getting remade but I’d recommend that everyone watch the original before it gets watered down (which I predict will happen). 9/10

*EVIL DEAD (2013)– I don’t wanna talk about how s1ht this movie is. 1/10

MANS BEST FRIEND  (1993) – A blast from the past, this could have bee like the thing if the comedy was taken out and if the director REALLY wanted to scare some people. 4/10.

*DIAMOND DOGS (2007)  – No dolph.. just no..

THE CROW (1994) – Should be in my GOAT list, definitely one of the films that helped me define myself as a teen. I remember when goths used to aim to kick some A$$. 10/10

RED HILL (2010) – I picked this up last year or so ago thinking it was going to be a western even though it plays out like one it’s such an awesome ozzy movie. 8/10

*SKYFALL (2012) – Finally a James Bond movie that I actually like! It’s not uber superb but yay! 8/10

*THE BUNKER  (2001) – Meh.. it plays like a rehash of Deathwatch. 4/10

*LEVIANTHAN (1989) – This is like every underwater adventure mixed up including Jaws.. still quite good for the effects and superb one liners. 6/10

*LES 7 JOURS DE TALION (2010) – I love this.. totally love it, the feeling, cinematography, storyline and raw emotions are all prefect! 9/10

*STATIC (2012)– Started out as a bit of a remake of Ils – Them (2006) but then soon twisted into one of the best plots I’ve seen from Holywood for some time. 8/10

*THE KOVAK BOX (2006) – I think this movie was trying to make a drama out of a molehill, or a mystery out of a simple story, I dunno.. I tried to like it but it just tripped and failed after the first hour. 5/10

*ANTROPOPHAGUS (1980) – WHOO! I love Italian horror especially with lot of baby and intestine eating! 7/10

*HAPPINESS – I only made it half way though this movie but I was thoroughly enjoying it before I had to go to work L

* denotes a first viewing!

It was a fairly good bank holiday weekend, there were some highs..

  • Dreamscapes
  • The Crow
  • Celda 211
  • Les 7 Jours de talion
  • Skyfall
  • Static

And some lows

  • Diamond Dogs
  • Evil Smeg..

 I’m actually a little worried about the amount of USA movies I’ve been watching lately!  I’ll loose my street cred soon.

PREDICTIONS : rec4

I was hoping to get this sorted before any details were released but it seems that this is going to run and run.. I don’t mind rec being turned into a long running franchise but I’d like for all the movies to be really good because the idea of religious zombies is just brilliant to me, The first two movies really did scare and entertain me.

Rec 4

So far the fourth movie has the subtitle of Apocallipsis. (Apocalypse).

After the abysmal third movie that was totally unrelated, none liner and quite boring, it’s going to take a lot to get this franchise back on track.  I liked the bold attempt to try and write in a what would happen if all hell breaks loose at [insert public event here] but as this film literally had knights in shining armour I think they failed at trying to save the world. I am hoping that it’s going back to the claustrophobic fright fest that we’re all accustomed to.  Yes I’m still bitter about the Genesis (2012).

All I know is that the main girl from the first two movies will be in this one, so…

My predictions.. I think this film will go back to the original plot line so it will carry on from Rec 2 (2009)

Plan A :

Anna (Manuela Velasco ) will attempt the leave the building, like the couple in Genesis, get shot and her blood will infect the crowd waiting outside the building and the apocalypse will commence..

Plan B :

Anna will be captured by science priests in hazmat suits and taken into quarantine this could take on two forms, it could become a possession movie where the demon/zombie virus in Anna will talk the hell out of everyone or she will escape and release the virus!? Or finally it will be killed off?!?!

Plan C :

Well lets say I’m doing this with a logically mind but really they might just do any fekking thing.. I dunno Anna might give birth to the anti Christ then take it on the Maury show for a free DNA test.

PREDICTIONS : Iron man 2

Okay yeah I’m behind on this but lets catch up tonight…

I’m expecting..

* RDJ  on GodMode on… all the time

* AC/DC   and other classic tracks throughout

* Uber cool gadgets…millions of them

* Nick Fury

* Ironman sidekick

* Bigger better badguy

* Tony Stark being a bigger commodity than Mickey Mouse…

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What I wont see…

* Paul Bettany… I’ll just hear his sexy voice….

* any Avengers references… Joke!

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LAST NIGHTS MOVIES 21-05-13

CYBORG
(Action, Sci Fi 1989) (18) D : Albert Pyun W : Kitty Chalmers S : JCVD 1h 26m USA.

A Martial artist hunts a killer in a plague-infested urban dump of the future.

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Holy fuck JVCD to the rescue all of man kind.

We’re screwed if we had to depend on him now; the only people who can rely on him are the canines of the world.

I really liked this movie, it’s not the most complex or involved movie of all time but it has it’s charms. You soon learn that some brutish thug and his gang murdered JCVD family which forces the splits champion into a revenge road trip across America. Nothing new about that, chuck in a dying world and a skin job (yes a reference to Blade Runner (1982)) and we have many excuses to kung fu everyone to death! There is a little side story going along with it involving a cure to save the worlds population but that’s the general idea. If you don’t mind a bit of dated futuristic ass kicking then this should please, you’ll need to look past the bad hair and retro Mad max (1979) clothes to see the beauty of the movie. Hold on… No need, this is Mad max! Its just on the disgarded set of Masters of the universe II

OK it’s not the best movie ever, it’s not aged as well as other older sci fi movies but then it wasn’t the biggest budget movie ever but its one that I am fond of from my childhood.

As much as I hate wanky guitar solos that go on too long I also really hate the battered hero finding amazing strength to beat the bad guy only because good must conquer bad.. but the final fight scene is pretty epic in the rain and all the slow mo repeated shots you can wish for..

Q: “I like this world”. R: The Quick and the Dead (1995), Android (1982), Mad max (1979)

6/10

EX DRUMMER (Crime, Drama, Surreal, Comedy, Music 2007) (18) D: Koen Mortier W: Herman Brusselmans 1h 41m. BEL

Three handicapped losers who form a band ask famous writer Dries to be their drummer. He joins the band and starts manipulating them.

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Wowies! I have been trying to get hold of this movie for some time. Any film with a dude standing on the celling on the cover is bound to be “up my street”. The movie is beautifully surreal, stark, gritty and pretty much plays like the most disgusting scenes from Trainspotting (1996) mixed with the best of any local drunken battle of the bands night. It’s got a paramount assortment of anal rape, vomiting, parent beating, comedy, drug abuse, murder, violence, talking corpses and music any modern movie can give.

The movie starts with the outsider; Dries, explaining the story. He stands out from all the others, he’s not handicapped, he doesn’t play any instruments and even thought he’s not all there it’s not on the same level of depravity as the others, his house is clean, his girlfriend is err.. mostly normal and everything surrounding him is pretty clean and organised.

The rest of the cast are generic fuck ups, all with several physical and mental disorders. As the movie progresses things spiral further out of control and into the darker pits of the disabilities and paranoia, sadly I never quite work out why the lead guitarist/singer lives upside down, it’s cute seeing him wander around brushing is teeth and coughing up blood while walking around on the ceiling but it all adds to the oddball nature of the entire movie.. I mean why not!? Fuck it!? He’s obviously happy up there.

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The movie doesn’t claim to be pushing any boundaries, it will be shocking to some, funny and exciting to others. If you’re happy looking at life from an alternative scumbag point of view then it will interest you as much as any other lowlife point of view movie. Sadly if you think that there should be some “high” standard of living then this will disgust you to no end.

Q : “ I hear you can’t drumOST : Mogwai –Hunted By a Freak, Millionare –Mongoloid. R : Trainspotting (1996) Spun (2002) Pusher (1996)

7/10

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Last nights Movie 20-05-13

I only managed one movie last night.. it was only nearly 3 hours long!

DER UNTERGANG – DOWNFALL

(Biography, Drama, 2004) (15) D: Oliver Hirschbiegel W: Bernd Eichinger S:Ulrich Matthes, Bruno Ganz, Christian  Berkel, Tomas Kretschmann. 2h 36m. GER

TAGLINE : April 1945, a nation awaits its…

Traudl Junge, the final secretary for Hitler tells of the Nazi dictators final days in his Berlin bunker at the end of WWII.

The final days of hitler.. whoo! What a pleasure to watch. Or is it? I’m not sure if the movie was trying to portray the homicidal f*ckwit as a fragile old man with 99 problems but he does come across as paranoid and feeling desperately abandoned. It’s enjoyable to see the downfall of a tyrant but it was never going to be a fun movie to watch, tons of suicides, killing off of the kiddies and doggies but ultimately the end of the war. It was different to see a screenplay deliberate the Second World War without really mentioning Jewish persecution or having yanks winning the war. It details the ignorance of the young. All in all it was interesting to see this from such a unique perspective with more humanist honesty than glamour.

Q : “And at that moment I actually realised that a young age isn’t an excuse. And that it might have been possible to get to know things.”

8/10

R: Schindlers List (1993), Pianist (2002) Medal of Honour 

Last Nights Movies 14-05-13

JOHNNY MNEUMONIC (Science Fiction, Action, Cyberpunk 1995) D: Robert Longo W: William Gibson 1h 43m. USA

TAGLINE: The futures most wanted fugitive.

A data courier, carrying a data package literally in side his head to large to hold for long, must deliver before he dies. OK Straight up I’ve never liked this movie, my best advice is to read the short story, there is much more going on, better characters and a more memorable ending. On the plus side this movie boasts a great cast including Ice-T and Henry Rollins (how musical) and the best performance Dolph has given to date. I feel that Beat Takeshi was thrown in as everyone associates cyberpunk with japan. Lets face it, anything taken from a short story can’t be written into a majorly long film, it fails most of the time, The Box (2009) and Screamers(1995) could have been pretty short films and not have lost any impact. So Johnny (Keanu) is a yuppie on the run with data that can change the world in his head, the Yuppie has to go and dwell with the street low lives in order to try and achieve his mission and to stay alive. The only problem is Keanu at his scariest is like a Care Bare with boxing gloves, I could have preferred to see Rollins punch his light out early on in the film and saved this day himself and all in under 1 hour. This movie could have has a memorable soundtrack but it sucks ass too. Q: “and it’s still our first date” R: Fortress(1992), Hackers(1995), Blade Runner (1982)

FOOTBALL FACTORY (Sport, crime, action 2004) D: Nick Lowe W: John King 1h 31m UK

TAGLINE : What else are you gonna do on a Saturday.

The football factory is more than just a study of the English obsession with football violence, its about men looking for armies to join. I’m expecting Danny Dyers face to bleed, an Indie Britpop OST, violence and the word c*nt. BINGO! I’m not saying this movie is totally predictable,it does deliver a few additional qualities that I really enjoyed among the usual football hooligan story. There is a powerful mini story with Bill, Dudley Sutton’s character, the movie boasts that it’s not all about football hooliganism but about men fighting a war, then you have Bill who has fought for his country in a war and is confronted by idiots who hold fascist views thinking they are on the same par as him. They don’t realise that they are the people ole Bill was fighting against. He sums it up in one quote “I don’t like him, I fought in the war against fascist views like his.” This helps demonstrate how pathetic and unaware the youth are today. Danny dyer has a few prophetic dreams during the course of the movie which reminds me of the ones similar to Valhalla Rising (2009). And surprisingly the most unsuspecting character has the noblest speech!

Q: “Oh, we have a few vans out on jobs most of the time. Yeah, sure it’s always busier in the summer, of course. Nothing like a soaring temperature to help the work, you know what I mean? Anyway, most of the time I just sit around the office waiting for the weekend. Don’t get me wrong, I love the money the job pays. But my real passion lies in kicking people’s f*cking heads in at football. See, I got to channel it somewhere. As you can probably tell by my bulging stomach, I don’t participate in too many sporting activities. And I don’t do drugs. Well, that’s not entirely true, but not a lot. So I got to have my release in something, and a good fu*king fight seems like the best way. Wouldn’t you agree? Maybe not. At least I wouldn’t be walking around like you lot, fucking horrible cunts with sticks shoved up you’re a*ses trying to pretend your little suburban nightmare’s all right. Then again, I suppose it just depends which way you look at it.”

It’s not my all time favourite football hooligan movie but I did enjoy it. the little caption adverts that speak directly to Danny Dyer and the ending which details what the characters did after the film were quite entertaining.

R: Cass(2008), Green Street (2005), Rise of the white collar hooligan (2012), Awaydays (2009), This is England (2006), Rise of the Foot soldier