Category Archives: Movie Reviews

Abby (1974)

(Horror, Supernatural, 1974) (12D/W : William Girdler W : Gordon Cornell Layne 1h 29. USA

A possession film about a marriage counsellor who becomes possess by a Demon of sexuality.

First five minutes of the movie I’m thinking “doctor dude will you open that fucking present and shut that bitch up” I’m also thinking that I’ve just started watching a black Exorcist (1973) maybe the Ghettocist? I dunno but the doctor dude goes to Nigera and opens some demonic relic with a massive wang and somehow he’s daughter in law gets possessed. Qu : How does that work? Was he thinking about her when he found “the erect penis, what a magnificent find” If the demon was trying to kill him, then why didn’t it bitch slap him them?

Anyway Abby is now possess and has amazing  adventures, her voice changes, she kick her husband in the balls, gives a white lady a heart attack and starts picking up men in bars and is killing them. If the demonic aspect were removed from this movie it would just be a liberating chick flick maybe called Abby and Louise.

Err the doctor comes back from Nigeria and confuses me as people call him father because he’s a priest but then his son also calls him father.. cos he’s his father.. but not the other peoples father.. or is he? His studies into the Yoruba religion allow him to kick some demonic ass.

Q : “Do you ever wonder why God makes these chickens necks to long?”

T : Warner sued AIP claiming that the movie (from Louisville Kentucky) copied the Exorcist (1973) too closely (it doesn’t) and it was withdrawn

R : Exorcist (1973),  The Possession (2012), Possession (1981), Shaft (1971)

I : Abby II, we discover that the demon is now in the “father” who is on his way back to Nigera and he turns into some demonic black Hitler!

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Outpost : Black Sun (2012)

OUTPOST :  BLACK SUN

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(Horror, Action, War, Zombie, 2012) (18D/W : Steve Barker 1h 41m. UK

The year is 1945, the closing stages of WWII an a German scientist by the name of Klausener is working…

I liked the first movie, it wasn’t ground-breaking but it wasn’t all that bad, I managed to watch it several times and not all just because of Richard Brake but he did make it rather enjoyable! It had a story line, and some interesting banter and it made a good movie.

The Sequel however was a right let down, massive plot holes and uninspiring b-movie acting. It looked like the director had a few scenes in mind that he wanted to try and make better from the first movie then he tried to write a story in between these scenes.

The predications were on the right track, we finally got some boobies as a lady has been added to the mix, I quite liked the first movie that was pussy free.  The chick started out tough then along with the movie started to mutate into Dog Solders () The “zombie” nazi’s were more animated but WTF was the Emperor Palpatine scene near the end all about! I don’t want to spoil it, I want someone else to suffer as much as I had to.

It has flaws.. major ones.. one thing that pissed me off to no end was the UK actors who put on lame US accents especially as they weren’t necessary.. Grrr

On the plus side the film has the same unique look and feel of the first.. that’s about it’s only charm.. Lets hope someone has learnt from this terrible mistake and the third movie is much much better.. there are enough references to the next film

Q : “is it true that they have more fun?”

R : Outpost (2007) Dead Mine (2012) Dod Sno (Dead Snow) (2009)

4/10

04

LAST NIGHTS MOVIES 29-05-13

LAST NIGHTS MOVIES 29-05-1 

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Last night ran into a bit of a late one but sadly not with a whole lot of movie watching  did fit in two movies but one of them was only an hour long! Am I loosing it? I watched ManBorg (2011)  which was surprising good for what it is and that’s a modern b movie pulptastic George jetson nightmare! Ahem.. and Antiviral (2012) which I didn’t get to watch until the very end so that review will be pending BUT the movie is stylish! I adore the feel of it and the man character is Haute Hot! So far a very unusual storey has been introduced about people taking on viruses from their favourite celebrities with a little bit of smuggling going on. It’s something I would expect from the loin of Cronenberg, common themes of viruses and mechanical people from both of these boys! More details to follow…

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DREAMSCAPE

DREAMSCAPE

(Thriller, Horror, Adventure, Sci Fi 1984) (15) D : Joseph Ruben W : David Loughey S : Max Von Sydow, Denis Quaid, David Patrick Kelly. 1h 39m. USA.

A young psychic on the run from himself is recruited by the government to save the US President who’s mind is trapped inside the dream world.

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Denis Quaid is a psychic running from the mob into the open arms of a government dream project. After a chat in a bar with an author Charlie Prince (George Wendt) the dangers of the project and a plot to kill the president becomes more apparent. Finally shit kicks off!

I reallyh appreciate movies that use stop motion FC, and this one uses them quite well in the dream sequences, but the let down is that the dreams were mundane and not as oddball or off the scale as I would have liked, still that’s neither here nor there, you still have dragon men, zombie in the underground and nuclear war! BRING IT ON!

Big thumbs up to David Patrick Kelly who plays his typical dodgy little fuck’s part quite well and it’s always super cool to see him as a villain in any movie. Since the Warriors (1979) he’s never failed to antagonise.

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Q : “If your talking about our sex life then George has a little problem”

BS : After the death of Mrs Matuski the confrontation between Quaid and Kelly is great. And includes this… Q : You may not know it to look at me but I’m a pretty sensitive guy”

TIL : Never draw your bad dreams and leave them available for your enemies to find.

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R : Nightmare on elm street (1981), Inception (2010).

SHALLOW GROUND

SHALLOW GROUND

(Horror, Thriller 2004) (18) D/W : Sheldon Wilson S: Timothy Murphy 1h 37m. USA

TAGLINE : Fear your past… it will find you.

A naked teenage boy covered in blood appears at a remote sheriffs station one year after the brutal unsolved murder of a local girl.

Another low budget; or at least TV grade easy to guess the end flashing photography poor excuse for a horror movie. OK I’m being callous but as much as this movie tells an out of the ordinary supernatural story it also sucks. Maybe this could have made a better Tales of the Unexpected or Outer Limits episode rather than dragging out a pretty obvious story. I did like the first half of the movie a story starts to form and progress but then it hits a brick wall and a series of lame dream sequences take over and left me begging for the end despite the uber appealing Timothy Murphy.

3/10

03

Green Street (2005)

(Crime, Drama, Sport, 2005) (18) D/W: Lexi Alexander W: Dougie Brimson 1h 49m. UK

TAGLINE: Stand Your Ground and Fight.

A wrongfully expelled Harvard undergrad moves to London, where he is introduced to the violent underworld of football hooliganism.

Another footie hooligan movie and another Elijah Wood being a preppy yank in the UK!? I remember trying to believe his character in The Oxford Murders (2008) but it was really hard. This was just as difficult, I just can’t take the freaky eyed hobbit all that serious. Anyway I really enjoyed Cass (2008) and Awaydays (2009), this doesn’t have the gritty nature of the other two but it does feature some of the cast. As a passage to manhood movie for little Elijah it’s not that bad, a lot of it was totally unbelievable but it was a good movie.

There are some interesting snippets in the movie, I think to try and illustrate that hooligans are real people too?

Anyhoo.. . Elijah’s sister has hooked up with an ex hooligan gone straight because he’s now a responsible father (yeah it happens just like that) The ex football hooligans little brother is also a thug and ends up baby sitting Elijah and chucks him into a world of violence with he laps up with gusto! Lots of crazy shizzle happens and there is a big stand off with Millwall who never disappoint.

Elijah comes across as a choirboy corrupted in this film but even by the end he still seems to be a little kid, maybe some facial hair would help here? The movie is totally owned by  the gang leader Charlie Hunnam, who shows a more honest manly dose of aggression and compassion which holds the entire movie together.

T: Cass Pennant makes a cameo. Q: “So he’s a Yank AND an undercover “journo”, looks like we’ll have to give the boy two funerals”.

R : Cass (2008), Awaydays (2009), The Oxford Murders (2008), Rise of the foot soldier (2007).

6/10

06

Awaydays (2009)

(Drama, Sport, 2009) (18) D: Pat Holden W : Kevin Sampson. 1h 45m. UK.

On the Wirral in the grim early years of Margaret Thatcher’s premiership, the opportunities for thrill seeking young men looking to escape 9 to 5 drudgery.

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Carty wants to become part of the “pact”; a footie hooligan group from the Wirral, he shoe horns his way into the gang via the acid tripping, dope smoking big dreaming Elvis, who takes him under his wing. Carty has some big dreams on how the Pact is run;  but without much experience he thinks he’s a fully fledged hooligan. There are members of the Pact who are willing to help his and others willing to give him a trial by fire. Young Carty never quite sees the bigger picture of ever knows where he stands.

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You get the impression that Carty is a angry young man who loves to fight but through his confusing relationship with Elvis and a hot temper he just shows himself up to be a fool, which in turn sends him over the edge and the cycle goes on again.

I adore the cinematography in this film, while focusing in on the strained relationship of the two young men it still shows the grim scenery of “oop north” with the added depressive OST you start to connect with the pacts need to go out and fight.

Commonly this film gets slated as being boring, he’s a drama, it’s not about the glorification of football hooliganism, it’s more of a coming of age movie. Carty wants so desperately to be a part of a group that aren’t willing to accept him. He gets so caught up with being around the group that he misses all of the dangers.

L : http://www.awaydaysthemovie.com/

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OST :  The soundtrack for this film is amazing and is worth having! It includes Cabaret Voltaire, Joy Division,  Ultravox, The Cure, Echo and the Bunnymen, OMD, The Jam, Teardrop Explodes,

Q :  “Well roody doody carty la”

BS : I adore the scene where the boys are buying music and nut the goth, I’m a goth but that guy was beggin for it. * My sisters favourite scene is the epic acid trip that Elvis has. I think it’s also worth pointing out that there is a great pivotal scene in the confessional box.

T : this is more of a goof, spotted by my sister. When Carty gets Elvis on the guest list, Elvis is wearing a “The Crow” t-shirt depicting Brendon Lee as Eric Draven . That movie came out in 1994 whereas this movie is set in 1979.

RCass ( 2008) , Green Street (2005), Control (2007)

9/10

 

Le weekend..

Le weekend Sat 25th, Sun 26th and Mon 27th of May 2013.

It was a bank holiday weekend but I seem to have watched fewer movies than a normal weekend!? I’m not sure how I managed that but I guess I did. This is the list of films, reviews to come!

DREAMSCAPE (1984)  – An old favourite of mine from the 80’s I used to get all freaked out and had to watch this with my mum! 7/10

HERO (2002) – Old school classic, I watched this with my ma to start the weekend rolling! 8/10

*ABBY (1974) – I dunno how I’ve missed this movies all these years, a little comical due to the age of it but actually quite a cool possession movie. 6/10

*CELDA 211 (2009) – WOAH! I adore European and South American prision movies, this is getting remade but I’d recommend that everyone watch the original before it gets watered down (which I predict will happen). 9/10

*EVIL DEAD (2013)– I don’t wanna talk about how s1ht this movie is. 1/10

MANS BEST FRIEND  (1993) – A blast from the past, this could have bee like the thing if the comedy was taken out and if the director REALLY wanted to scare some people. 4/10.

*DIAMOND DOGS (2007)  – No dolph.. just no..

THE CROW (1994) – Should be in my GOAT list, definitely one of the films that helped me define myself as a teen. I remember when goths used to aim to kick some A$$. 10/10

RED HILL (2010) – I picked this up last year or so ago thinking it was going to be a western even though it plays out like one it’s such an awesome ozzy movie. 8/10

*SKYFALL (2012) – Finally a James Bond movie that I actually like! It’s not uber superb but yay! 8/10

*THE BUNKER  (2001) – Meh.. it plays like a rehash of Deathwatch. 4/10

*LEVIANTHAN (1989) – This is like every underwater adventure mixed up including Jaws.. still quite good for the effects and superb one liners. 6/10

*LES 7 JOURS DE TALION (2010) – I love this.. totally love it, the feeling, cinematography, storyline and raw emotions are all prefect! 9/10

*STATIC (2012)– Started out as a bit of a remake of Ils – Them (2006) but then soon twisted into one of the best plots I’ve seen from Holywood for some time. 8/10

*THE KOVAK BOX (2006) – I think this movie was trying to make a drama out of a molehill, or a mystery out of a simple story, I dunno.. I tried to like it but it just tripped and failed after the first hour. 5/10

*ANTROPOPHAGUS (1980) – WHOO! I love Italian horror especially with lot of baby and intestine eating! 7/10

*HAPPINESS – I only made it half way though this movie but I was thoroughly enjoying it before I had to go to work L

* denotes a first viewing!

It was a fairly good bank holiday weekend, there were some highs..

  • Dreamscapes
  • The Crow
  • Celda 211
  • Les 7 Jours de talion
  • Skyfall
  • Static

And some lows

  • Diamond Dogs
  • Evil Smeg..

 I’m actually a little worried about the amount of USA movies I’ve been watching lately!  I’ll loose my street cred soon.

PREDICTIONS : rec4

I was hoping to get this sorted before any details were released but it seems that this is going to run and run.. I don’t mind rec being turned into a long running franchise but I’d like for all the movies to be really good because the idea of religious zombies is just brilliant to me, The first two movies really did scare and entertain me.

Rec 4

So far the fourth movie has the subtitle of Apocallipsis. (Apocalypse).

After the abysmal third movie that was totally unrelated, none liner and quite boring, it’s going to take a lot to get this franchise back on track.  I liked the bold attempt to try and write in a what would happen if all hell breaks loose at [insert public event here] but as this film literally had knights in shining armour I think they failed at trying to save the world. I am hoping that it’s going back to the claustrophobic fright fest that we’re all accustomed to.  Yes I’m still bitter about the Genesis (2012).

All I know is that the main girl from the first two movies will be in this one, so…

My predictions.. I think this film will go back to the original plot line so it will carry on from Rec 2 (2009)

Plan A :

Anna (Manuela Velasco ) will attempt the leave the building, like the couple in Genesis, get shot and her blood will infect the crowd waiting outside the building and the apocalypse will commence..

Plan B :

Anna will be captured by science priests in hazmat suits and taken into quarantine this could take on two forms, it could become a possession movie where the demon/zombie virus in Anna will talk the hell out of everyone or she will escape and release the virus!? Or finally it will be killed off?!?!

Plan C :

Well lets say I’m doing this with a logically mind but really they might just do any fekking thing.. I dunno Anna might give birth to the anti Christ then take it on the Maury show for a free DNA test.

PREDICTIONS : Iron man 2

Okay yeah I’m behind on this but lets catch up tonight…

I’m expecting..

* RDJ  on GodMode on… all the time

* AC/DC   and other classic tracks throughout

* Uber cool gadgets…millions of them

* Nick Fury

* Ironman sidekick

* Bigger better badguy

* Tony Stark being a bigger commodity than Mickey Mouse…

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What I wont see…

* Paul Bettany… I’ll just hear his sexy voice….

* any Avengers references… Joke!

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