Category Archives: Remakes

Robocop (2014)

Director: José Padilha
Starring: Joel Kinnaman, Samuel L Jackson, Michael Keaton, Gary Oldman, Michael Kenneth Williams, Abbie Cornish . USA. 1h 57m

It’s taken me a long time to watch this as I have such a deep connection with the original film, for me Robocop is a saint and I was almost insulted that anyone would dare to remake the movie, but this is a very loose remake that pretty much relies on you having seen the original too get make sense of some of the benial content. But don’t take my low rating as a sign that I am a total fangirl of the Verhoeven classic, I have taken a lot of energy to think outside of my little box.

In this rendition of the tragic life of Alex Murphy (Kinnaman), he’s a brilliant righteous cop who is on a questionable case that keeps giving him and his partner Lewis (Williams) the slip. Continue reading Robocop (2014)

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Silence (2016)

Director: Martin Scorsese.
Starring: Andrew Garfield, Adam Driver, Tadanobu Asano, Ciarán Hinds, Liam Neeson. USA/Japan. 2h 41m.
Based on: Silence by Shūsaku Endō
Remake of : Os Olhos da Ásia (1996) and Silence (1971)

Probably something that should have been released closer to Easter there was a slightly early release for the Scorsese epic Silence that sees two young Portuguese Jesuit priests follow their beloved leader to Feudal Japan when news that he’s turned his back on his faith and is now living as a Japanese citizen. Sebastião Rodrigues (Garfield) and Francisco Garupe (Driver) leave without much consideration for their safety as Christianity has been outlawed and all followers of the faith are  being punished/killed in Japan . After hellish introduction scenes, the torturing of christians continues throughout which is used a tool to pluck the heartstrings. The two priests are; at first harboured by a few loyal converts who live on the fringe of society, mostly to protect themselves as they secretly live as Christians, but not content with living in a communal shed (with a priest’s hide). Rodrigues is obsessed with leaving, finding Father Cristóvão Ferreira  (Neeson) and discovering the truth, could his teacher and personal hero really have denounced christ to save himself and now be living in Japan as a citizen? But on embarking out into the world they are soon captured and the truth isn’t quite what he was expecting. Continue reading Silence (2016)

Constantine (2005)

constantine

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I was totally reluctant to see this and it did take a couple of years for me to finally give in as it was on Film4 and generally they don’t fuck around with shit films.. generally.. The movie was never going to be as good as the comics, and very few comic remakes are that good, and on top of this Mr Keanu (I’m a wooden puppet) Reeves is cast as the lead and I stepped back crying OH HELL NO, until i realised Tilda Swinton had a small part and decided it would be worth it to perve on her.

Hellblazer.. *ahem* I mean John Constantine is like a detective/guardian who deals with all things religiously supernatural, demonic possession, angels and demons who try to interfere a little too much etc etc, with the help of his ambitious sidekick he’s onto something big here that leads him almost straight into hell and to Devil himself. After rescuing a young girl from a demon a little secret is let out, and John is on the case of trying to stop one of the devils sons from coming back to burn this earth and claim it for his own. Dect Angela Dodson  (Rachel Weisz) has recently lost her twin sister to suicide and through messages left behind and Constantine’s help the pair are in for a wild ride as they try to decipher the mysteries of Hell’s army. Continue reading Constantine (2005)

Upcoming movie nonsense: Ant-man

Ant-man (2015)

Antman

Paul Rudd and Michael Douglas to star in Ant-man! Biochemist Hank Pym obtains the ability to communicate and control insects!! Director Edgar Wright and producer Joe Cornish are aiming to roll this one out next July.

Edgar is well known for Shawn of the dead (2004), Hot fuzz (2007) and World’s end (2013) etc, all films I’ll never bother watching… Joe had a level of success with Attack the block (2011) but I don’t think I’ll be rushing out to see this one but I think it will do well, with a level of comedy,  big names, being another hero movie and out around the summer holidays it’s gonna do ok!

I can’t think of many clichés I’d expect to see..to be brutally honest I would like the movie to be like the Tick I’m live action, oh wait that’s been done… This one is hard to.predict as I’ve not read the comics, I’m just thankful Simon Smeg isn’t in it… Yet!

I’ll await to see what unfolds! Then probably avoid it 😦

 

Loft (2010)

LOFT

(Crime, Thriller, Drama 2010) (18) D : Antoinette Beumer W: Bart De Pauw/Saskuan Noort P: Hilde De Laere. 1h 48m Nederlands.

TAGLINE : Five friends One deadly secret.

Five best friends, all married, decide to share a loft apartment for their extra marital affairs.

loft 2010

Another remake of a great classic story, actually not totally how classic the story is but it’s been done before and it will be done again. (judging from the imdb.. this year)

Basically a group of successful and obnoxious business boys rent a shared loft apartment for fucking their one night stands etc etc. Obviously such a good thing must come to an end, this one is a slightly messy affair when a dead bint is found in the loft.. so the movie turns into a “who killed the ho” hour. As you’d expect everyone gets a little shifty and the plot finally thickens with various accusations and flash backs to various social events where the husbands like to party together (and picking up ho’s) and with their wives (trying to remain under cover). The relations between the men break down and harsh words are thrown around like a sexy lil frisbee.

While I enjoyed the film and could watch it again I think it’s popularity is due to people wanting to see some rich people suffer.

I love that this version was directed by a woman, I would love to see an alternative version where the women rent the flat for their affairs, the only problem with that it everything would be so well organised nothing could go wrong and therefore the movie would just be a prono.. lol nothing wrong there.

Overall the movie is funny, thrilling and very stylish, after all who wouldn’t want to see a bunch of yuppies crash and burn in the flames of their own greed and stupidity.

loft--3

Q : Hey your numbers come up, don’t forget half of everything you win is mine.

TIL : No matter how awesome you are, your man is going to be ad faithful as his options.

7/10

07

30 Day Horror Movie Challenge!

Nightmare01

Day 1- your first horror movie- this would be Nightmare On Elm Street (1984), I was about 5 or 6 when i first saw it and it was an instant favourite (yes my mother was a bit oddball) but i handled it well BOYAKA!!

Day2- the last horror movie you saw in the theater – I think that would be Trollhunter (2010), certainly made me a bit icky. I absolutley love this film it really should be in my top 30.

 

Day 3- favorite classic horror movie – probably a hammer horror…Oh I dunno this will be a toughy how about Night of the Demon (1957). Night of the Demon

Day 4- a horror movie you thought you’d love and didn’t – most after dark movies….if I had to name and shame, maybe the Rite (2011). I made the fatal error of buying before I watched it, I thought with Anthony Hopkins, Exorcisms and a good supporting cast it couldn’t be bad.. *sigh*

Day5- favorite horror remake – is there such a thing? Oh yeah the Thing (1982)!

Day 6- favorite vampire movie – oh man! I really do detest vampire in general I’m much more of a werewolf kinda girl unless the vampire is Chris Lee. But there have been a few good Vamp flicks in the past.. and for this I’d have to choose the Lost Boys (1987) or Daybreakers (2009) for it’s alternative styling?!

Day 7- a horror movie you think no one has seenSkinned Deep (2004) and everyone should watch it. No I couldn’t recommend a movie, only give my opinion. I really did like the crazyness of it, like Killer X/Natural Selection/Monster Hunter(1999) it just tells a story and doesn’t care what anything thinks about the process.

rec spanish horror movie

Day 8- favorite foreign horror – I don’t like the term foreign movie, every movie is foreign to someone.. BUT I’ll go for non English speaking and side with Rec (2007).

Day 9- favorite super natural horror movie – I think I would have to choose Poltergeist (1982).

Day 10- horror movie every one loves but you don’t – this is hard because i love most horror.. or do I?

Dog Soldiers

Day 11- favorite horror/ comedy – I don’t do comedy.. but I do laugh a lot in horror movies, I gotta say House III/The Horror Show(1989) gives me the most giggles but it’s also quite annoying but my choice today goes to Dog Soldiers (2002).

BegottencoverDay 12- your most disturbing horror film– I know a lot of movies that are widely accepted as disturbing and there are some which personally disturb me, some un-nerve due to phobias, childhood experiences etc, but it took me a few attempts to watch this film and it really digs deep the Begotten (1990)

 

Day 13- favorite zombie movie – I used to adore zombie movies but they are all kinda the same now. We are starting to get some diversity so I’m going to go for a crazy zombie film but one I keep going back to Wild Zero (1999).

wildzero

Day 14- favorite indie horror movie – I adore Independent films, but I don’t know of many horror ones, it’s usually too expensive to use the effects that replace good story telling and acting (JK) I think I’ll watch the Decent (2005).

Day 15- favorite monster movie – I’d like to say Trolljegeren (2010) but I’ve mentioned that sooo.. Lets watch Rogue (2007), it’s not the most dramatic monster movie but it was consistently brutal and Sam Worthington didn’t save the day! thanks giant Croc!

Day 16- horror film with a great soundtrack – I was never a big fan of any of the Underworld (2003) franchise but I picked up the soundtrack due to hearing what I thought was Puscifer and low and behold the OST was better than the films and introduced me to Genghis Tron!

Day 17- favorite 80’s horror – I was a wee bearn in the 1980’s but was regulary exposed to horror movies, for a huge run down on 80’s horror check out this website  80shorrormovies.com! My choice this challenge will be cult classic Waxwork (1988).

notldDay 18- favorite horror movie filmed in black and white – I’m going to be really obvious here and go with something really popular… Night of the Living Dead (1968). I believe that being an independent movie is the reason why this was shot in black and white, but no matter how many remakes this movies has the original shots from this are always the most iconic.

 

Day 19- best use of gore – Oh man, what is a horror movie without gore!? One of the first movies that comes to mind when gore is mentioned is Braindead/Dead Alive(1992).It has to have some of the best gore and for me the best mass zombie killing scene.. Lawnmover death!braindead

Day 20- favorite horror character –  For me it’s Ashley ‘Ash’ J. Williams from Evil Dead (1981).

Day 21- best horror franchise – There are so many but so many now, a lot of them have a let down movie, I’d like to go with Alien as I adore all of the movies in every way but there are only 4, do you need more for a franchise? also it’s more sci fi than just horror.. Okay it’s going to be a long night.. Omen get’s my vote.

pyramidDay 22-best death scene – NO!!! don’t make me choose one! FINE I’ll go for this one.. brilliant, unexpected and such a timeless classic.. Mr Pyramid Head skinning technique from Silent hill (2006). The only thing missing was him raping the corpse.

Day 23- a great quote from a horror movie – A little quote here from Devil’s Rejects

“Boy, the next word that comes out of your mouth better be some brilliant fuckin’ Mark Twain shit. ‘Cause it’s definitely getting chiseled on your tombstone.”

babyDay 24- horror movie character that describes you – I asked around  I was told by several people i am as annoying as Baby Firefly from House of 1000 Corpses (2003).

Day 25- favorite Christmas/ holiday horror movie – I love how festive movies are all really terrible like Die Hard 2 (1990) but as this is HORROR!! my vote goes to Gremlins (1984)

Day 26- horror movie for a chicken – Any comedy horror movie is really a good place to start for horror pussies  I’m going to chuck in a more recent movie that had no scares what so ever.. Creepshow 3 (2006)

Day 27-your guilty pleasure horror movie – I’m going to get slated for this, but I own House of wax (2005).

Day 28- horror film you’d like to see remade/ rebooted – Now this has got to be quite a passionate request for me, I couldn’t simply ask for a movie to be remade when I don’t really agree with remakes, but I personally would like to see Silent hill (2006) remade and more accurately to the original game, I’d like to see Harry Mason battling things out in the surrealist supernatural psychological survival horror that silent hill should be.

Day 29- worst horror movie – Oh man there are so many of these, I know everyone would probably pick Anaconda (1997) because it was famously bad but I think I’m going to not ruin my night with that again but try Parasomnia (2008).

Day 30- your favorite all time horror movie (or one of 🙂 ) – phhh.. okay just on.. Howling (1981). I love watching this film, I never get bored of it 

howling

2000AD strips that should make it to the big screen

Right here is a run down of my favourite 2000AD strips/characters that I feel could make great movies. To see details of what has already been made into films check out this post.

Durham Red

Part of the Stontium Dogs, Durham Red eventually got her own strip, as a solo vampire bounty hunter bad ass kinda lass. There was an awesome strip based on a hunter killer game, similar to the tournament and obviously used Michael Wincott’s character from the Crow (1995) as the overlord who organised the tournament. This could be an interesting start to Durham in the Cinema. Sadly I think it would just turn into Underworld (2010). Although I think if there was ever a match, my girl Durham would kick ass.

Button Man

Harry Exton, ex-mercenary, is a “Button Man”, a hired killer pitted against other killers in an underground sport. Each works for a mysterious “Voice”, a rich man of unknown identity. The object of the game is to kill your opponent, or capture him and take his marker – the first two joints of a finger. Button Men who lose three fingers are shot anyway. The “voices” profit from the game by gambling on the outcome, and a ruthless killer like Harry Exton can make a modestly wealthy man extremely rich. Exton decides to quit, only to discover that leaving the Button Man game isn’t so easy. What more needs to be said, it’s another tournament movie and probably a great one for Liam Neeson.

ABC Warriors

The A.B.C. Warriors are a team of war robots designed to withstand ‘Atomic’, ‘Bacterial’ and ‘Chemical’ warfare. They were built to take part in the long-running Volgan War,  Each robot has a distinctive personality – often one programmed by its human creators – but each is more or less able to act with free will. The team is made up of Hammerstein, Deadlock, Joe Pineapples, Blackblood, Mongrel, Steelhorn/the Mess, Mek Quake and Ro Jaws. There have been other members join up now and again over time. But with all of the Transformers movie technology this could be a marvelous film.

Nemesis

Nemesis the warlock was in the very first 2000AD comic I ever brought, drawn by Clint Langley (my all time favourite artist). I guess it was love at first sight. Nemesis is a a fire-breathing demonic alien, fights against the fanatical Torquemada, Grand Master of the Terran Empire in Earth’s distant future, and his attempts to exterminate all alien life. Grotesque, hyperbolic and violent, the series possesses a dark wit and biting satirical intent.

Slaine

Sláine is a barbarian fantasy adventure series based on Celtic myths and storieswhich first appeared in 1983. Sláine’s favourite weapon is an axe called “Brainbiter”. He has the power of the “warp spasm”, based on the ríastrad or body-distorting battle frenzy of the Irish hero Cú Chulainn, in which earth power “warps” through his body, turning him into a terrifying, monstrous figure who knows neither friend nor foe. He is a devotee of the earthgoddess Danu.

Obviously it would be hard for this not to turn into Conan (1984) but is there any hard of having an Irish Conan? NO! It would be amazing to see it embrace the old Celtic myths and I have to admit Ireland/Celtic myths tend to get forgotten by Hollywood, the only recent references I’ve seen to them would be from Hellboy 2 (2008 ) but Del Toro does like a good fable. I’m sure they would like to give the part to Michael Fassbender but I’d pefer to see someone more meaty in the role, is it really time for the New arnie??

Outlaw

He used to be a killer. He used to be the best. Now the past is about to catch up with him. How far is he prepared to go to save everything he hold dear? He is about to find out…

After all of the Django Unchained I feel a bit odd suggesting this! (JOKE) we need more positive black male characters in the movie business.

The story isn’t an easy one from what I remember, it’s actually quite similar to the background story in Tournament (2009) (and yes a thousand other movies)  Where the bad ass has his family killed and goes out for revenge so why not just chuck Ving Rhames in for good measure?

 
Rogue Trooper

Rogue, a G.I. (or Genetic Infantryman, a genetically modified, blue-skinned, manufactured elite soldier) and his three comrades’ search for the Traitor General. His comrades are in the form ofbiochips (onto which a G.I.’s entire personality is downloaded at the time of death for later retrieval) and are named Gunnar (mounted on Rogue’s rifle), Bagman (on hisbackpack) and Helm (on his helmet). He is genetically engineered to be immune to almost all known toxins. He can submerge in strong acid unaffected, and is able to withstand a vacuum in his bare skin.

Strontium Dogs

Now this would rock, after a Strontrium (90?) fall out Britian is left with very few people and then the mutations start.. BRILLIANT! But as this is a cool comic, they don’t turn into X men they aren’t pretty but they have a laugh! There are issues like segregation and the mutants are seen as second class citizens, and congriguate in ghettos in places like Milton Keynes. This is begging to me made a black comedy sci fi britflick? I’d like to see it as a proper doomsday film, with a similar cast actually, the boys did well in Dog Soldiers (2002) too (did anyone notice the cast was almost the same?)

Vector 13

Vector 13 was one of my all time favourite strips as it was a full story in each episode and it played out like the Twilight Zone or Outer Limits and I absolutely adore those shows. It would be a bit crap to draw one of these stories out into a full movie like the box (2009) that movie was a hour longer than it needed to be, wait the original was about right, did it really need to be drawn out into a movie? C’mon! Maybe this could be compiled together like Creepshow (1982) into a series of shorts?

We need some proper sinister MIB with some shocking tales to tell. If your into this kinda thing then I can’t help but shout about my favourite podcast, Mysterious Universe. I’ll add their links soon but in the meantime check them out here http://mysteriousuniverse.org/

Sinister Dexter

This strip started when I was about ready to give up on 2000AD due to costs but I did enjoy the first round. it features the exploits of gun sharks (hitmen) Finnigan “Finny” Sinister and Ramone “Ray” Dexter in the city of Downlode, sprawled across Central Europe “like a hit and run victim” I’ve noticed that the characters started out as the hitmen from Pulp Ficition (1994 ) but slowy turned into a dead clown and wesley snipes in appearance, lets face it, Mr Snipes could do with a bit of cash, so lets get this made and help a brotha out! To be honest I’d prefer to see Danny John Jules play the part.

2000 AD On the Big Screen

I used to read 2000AD and Judge Dread Magazine for most of my teenage life. I have a huge pile of comics that I flick through from time to time. Sadly not a lot of  my old time classics made it to the big screen and there were a lot worthy of it. Check out the post 2000AD strips that should make it on the big screen.

To date there have only been three film adaptations and only based on one strip and one other character, they are …

  • Hardware (1990)
  • Judge Dredd (1995)
  • Dredd (2012)

Sad isn’t it.. Well not entirely, lets recap.

Hardware (1990)

Hardware happens to be in my top films of all time. It is based on a 1981 comic strip from 2000 AD called SHOK. Initially slated by the press it did manage to grow a cult following.  It really is the showcase of what the future movement meant to a lot of us teens and young people in the 90’s, it’s got android body parts, machines, a crazy radio host, a bleak future that the hippies warned about, no children, radiation and big guns.  The movie also has a GREAT soundtrack including Minsitry, PIL and some of Simon Boswell’s best work. This is also one of those movies where a lot of musicians played a part,  quite literally and all from a then thriving alternative scene. Such people inclucded Carl MacCoy (Fields of the Nephilim), Lemmy  (Motorhead) and Iggy Pop as the excitable radio host Angry Bob!!!

Judge Dredd (1995)

I was so psyched when I read in 200AD that the Dredd movie was on the make! There had been rumors for so long and with a low comic to movie history, I felt that maybe there was a change for a good film for me to sneek into the cinema to watch.
Then bit by bit information was released about the film including Stallone being Dredd, I was a little shocked but I couldn’t think of anyone else who could play the part. Then I watched the movie, cried a little, it was nice to see mega city 1 and Ian Dury, then took my posters down.. I couldn’t believe it..he took off his helmet! How fucking dare he!

It was nice to know that a local family bike shop had made the vehicles for the movie, and it was brilliant that they killed off some of the immortal characters I had spent years reading about.. and humm.. I’m still a little traumatized by it all.

Now the final installment..  Dredd 3D (enough of the 3D please) it’s just Dredd (2012)

I can’t say much about this as I haven’t actually watched it yet, I don’t actually get a chance to see everything NEW OUT all the time. I’ll explain later..

But if Karl Urban could re do the scene where Dredd fights off the Angel Gang with his law book and back brush while totally naked (apart from the helmet) I might go and rent it now…

Progressively the 2000AD comic to movies have been going down hill for me, Ill have to give a full recap when I’ve watched the final movie but in the mean time there will be more info on what I’d like to see make it to the big screen.