Category Archives: VS

Human Centipede vs Tusk

I re watched Tusk with my mother a few nights ago and she loved it and in our motherly/daughter post movie discussion we got all hyped about which situation would be worse, being transformed into a Walrus by a psycho or being segmented into the human centipede by well.. a psycho..

Here goes!

humancentipedeThe Concept
A premier surgeon has a secret fetish, he wants to build a centipede, not just any centipede; a creature that is made up of segments that share the same intestinal tract. Nothing strange about that huh. After hooking up his three dogs he then decides to try it on humans after the dog’s death. Now in slight contrast Howard How just wants to re create a Walrus buddy after having to kill and eat his beloved Mr. Tusk, and  in an insane attempt to let his buddy live again. So he lures unsuspecting peeps to his home and deconstructs them into his Walrus buddy.
I don’t really know to rate this, I suppose the more demented the higher the score? Christ this is already doing my head in already. okay lemme think. I’m going to be soft on Tusk this time around, after all Mr How just wants to re create his buddy, and Dr psycho is just a dirty perve.
Tusk 0-1 Human Centipede Continue reading Human Centipede vs Tusk

Creep (2004) Vs Creep (2014)

creepvscreep.jpg

So now there are two films called Creep and neither of them contain the amazing song from Radiohead ,  but how do they compare on the level of creepy!? (Yes I know there other films called Creep but I’m leaving the 1995 one out for now).

So how to measure the creepiness of a movie… With these two films I seem to be against everything that is on the internet. So bare with me.

Creep (2)Main Character: So we have Craig and Josef. Craig is a mutant cave dwelling psycho who was subjected to lots of medical experiments and re enacts them on anyone who is unfortunate to cross his path, luckily he lives in he London underground so he usually preys on homeless folk so he goes unnoticed. On the other hand Josef is more of a sociopath who preys on people who respond to his Craigslist where is keeps them on edge by constantly scaring them, manipulates them and eventually slaughters them.

Now for me I’m more likely to meet Craig than Josef, I’m also more likely to have beaten Josef to death for freaking me out constantly. Honestly I would have bitch slapped him into a shallow grave for being creepy. Overall I think a mutant killer who doesn’t feel pain and who captures people and keeps them in cages before operating on them is much creepier than a norbet who you could take out if you used half a brain cell, after all Josef is as creepy as that dodgy uncle you have.. oh wait that could be pretty scarring… anyway.

Creep2004 1 – Creep2014 0

Creep (3)Creep Factors : Josef is a nerd and socially awkward, he does seem to keep jumping out scaring Aaron all the time and it worked the first few times but then it just gets annoying in the film, I’m sure everyone could see it coming, apart from that factor and some stalking there isn’t much else with this film. The London based Creep has a mutant psycho, rats, nasty painful operations, being crapped in watery cages, being trapped in an underground maze and some great bloody slahserific fun. Is that 5 aspects of creepy fun!? Okay!!

Creep2004 6 – Creep2014 1

Realistic? :There have been lots of reports of people trying to lure people into sex cults and what not on Craigslist, I only know of a few true life stories where killers have utilized the listings to attract prey and that’s enough proof for me. There have been tales about the horror that go on in the old unused parts of the London underground but nothing has been verified that scientific experiments went on down there, and that kinda stuff won’t make the media lol I jest, there is some storage down there but that is it. So the only scenario, which is more plausible, is the 2014 version.

Creep2004 6 – Creep2014 2

creep-craig.jpgRatings : Overall the film score about the same but on all of the top sites 2014 film gets a lot more attention and higher ratings, which I don’t understand in the slightest. For me the 2004 Creep has so much more character, superb method acting and some tense scenes, where the hipster 2014 film just gets under my skin. Because this is my blog I’m taking my own ratings here so

Creep2004 7 – Creep2014 2

Looks like the creepiest creep; goes to the detailed dark nightmare that Sean Harris performs to perfection, and kicks the shit outta Josef. I have to admit that if the two were in some kind of show down I reckon little Craig would beat the big Craigslist killer up, So what do you think? Which film freaked you out the most? Was this a justified comparison!?

Creep 2004 FINISH HIM!!!!

Creep Portenta

Clive Barker VS Stephen King

clive-barker-vs-stephen-kin

Who is the king of horror!!?

I’m going to try and NOT be biased here.. and it’s going to be difficult.  I have read a great many of Clive Barker’s books and I struggle with Stephen King, I know it’s lame but apart from a few shorter stories I generally experience King through the Cinema rather than through pages of a book. Despite this I have been a long time fan of both directors but Clive always has an edge that I deeply appreciate.

Now that’s clear I’ll clarify one other thing,  I’m only judging films side of each creative writer here, I’m pretty sure King has written more books than Barker, and likewise Barker has probably had more art exhibitions than King. But both men have written and produced vast quantities of ideas that have fuelled  many exceptional films.

So what have they given us!?

Clive Barker W:31 P:16 D:6 A:10

Notable works: Hellraiser, Rawhead Rex, Nightbreed, Candyman, Lord of Illusions, Midnight Meat Train etc…

Stephen King W:200 P:13 D:0 A:20

Notable works: Carrie, Salem’s Lot, Creepshow, Cujo, Christine, Firestarter, Children of the Corn, Cats Eye, Silver Bullet, Running Man, Misery, IT, Sometimes they come back, Stand by me, Tommyknockers, Needful Things, The Stand, Mangler, Dolores Claiborne, Dreamcatcher etc…

Key: W: ritten P:Produced  D:Directed  A:Actor.

WOW okay.. now where do we take this! Yes King has produced a lot more work, but not all of it has been horror, oh wait hold on.. it falls within the horror category, okay, so because he’s produced more he wins hands down!?  Hell no, we’re going to give  him 0-1 and then investigate further.

hellraiser cenobites

Clive Barker has given us some cult classics in Hellraiser (1987) and the iconic PinHead character. He re-created a whole new brand of horror in a similar way that HP Lovecraft gave us a whole new horror universe to work with, Barker gave us a new hell and a whole new pain devil to show us the sights. On the other hand King tends to work with our oldest fears, reinventing them in new creepy ways. He gave us the playful Pennywise Clown from It (1990), Annie Wilks from Misery (1990) the classic haunted car Christine (1983) and many more. Obviously King had given us a lot more memorable characters as he’s produced more but who’s really the most iconic?

rawhead rex

Hate me all you like but I’m going to have to give this round to Clive, I give King full credits for making clowns scary again but honestly, they were always scary, Pennywise was a terrifying beast but only because most people fear clowns anyway, he was simply adding to the nightmare fuel, Annie Wilks creeps the bejesus out of any abled man, but she wasn’t anything new. While on the other hand, swinging out of the hell corner, Mr Barker introduces a pantheon of hellish new beasts to play with. Including the Cenobites and Whatever was in the Midnight Meat Train (2008) and the Book of Blood (2009) and the children of the moon who used to reside in Midian in the classic Nightbreed (1990),  have spawned on a range of spin offs and cosplay etc, while you can also argue that King has given us some pretty strange shapeshifting aliens in Dreamcatcher (2003), again they are just aliens, but I do admit they were somewhat distinctive. These are new characters at least for this reason I’m going to have to give him the round. But only the king of horror can dream up Rawhead Rex.. whatever he was!? *shudder* So that’s 1-1.

Misery

Clive Barker has directed before and is has more films in the pipeline while King had never taken the bull by the horns and given even a short movie a try. I think he would be amazing if he turned his mind to it. But sadly he’s not really branched out in that way and therefore 1-2.

King likes to work with people in making his dream come true and is invaluable on set with his creative ideas Barker gets in there as well. To be honest either would be an asset to any film set that is working on one of their productions. I’m tempted to call this a tie but if I had to pick a side I think Clive has done a few more and considering he’s got fewer titles under his belt this totally outdoes King. Soooo 2-2

Dreamcatcher-alienweasel

Appearances are everything. For me seeing a director on the big screen is pretty awesome, obviously Hitchcock and M Night Shyamalan have taken it to the limit (yeah I feel another list coming on), but now and again someone will crop up, when I was younger I couldn’t afford magazines and stuff so I didn’t always realise when I had seen someone from behind the scenes. When it comes to these two superheroes I have to admit that I had my wits about me and could recognise these dudes from an early age. Barker has made a lot of appearances and it’s great to see him but he can’t outdo Kings crazy performances in the Creepshow (1982) movies, especially as Jordy Verrill, let alone all of the other cameos. I think that might be the finishing blow 2-3

King is the King!

pennywise it

Please bear in mind this is just a bit of movie fun, both men are hero’s in what they do and no faults can be found in either really, Barker will always be that little bit closer to my heart but I couldn’t imagine horror cinema without either of them.

Pyramid Head VS Pyramid Head

pyramid-head-vs-pryamid-hea

Pyramid Head from the Silent Hill Game vs Pyramid Head from the Silent Hill Movie

Let the showdown Commence!

Silent Hill Game (1999)

Pyramid Head

The original prankster, rapist, murderer and scary mofo, was introduced to us in the Konami classic Silent Hill 2. Not that Silent Hill wasn’t scary enough the makers had to try harder for the second game. Everything that you were accustomed to was chucked aside for a whole new squad of monsters including mannequins, hoodie style spitting ghouls and Pyramid Head, a creature that nearly made me wet my pants in the demo and he didn’t even have to move, his presence was enough.

Throughout the game you’re constantly stalked by the Pointed Headed Demon, who after you see raping and killing one of the other monsters, a pair of legs, you understand that he’s down for business and if you played the game anything like me, if you saw him, you ran like a pencil neck sissy.

He was tough, so fucking hardcore that a few times in the game all you can do is run from him, even when you get his weapon from him, you still couldn’t take him out! It’s fair to say that the way in which Silent Hill was made it forces you to the edge of sanity anyway. It’s not ALL down to Pyramid Head, the sounds, creatures and disturbing acts around you are all designed to get you frightened, he was just an added bonus, the cherry on the icing. Yes I’m referring to Pyramid Head as a Cherry.. a huge hulking giant fucking pointed Cherry on the icing that is Silent Hill.

If you played the game, you’ll never forget him. NEVER

His character spurred a thousand cosplay and Halloween outfits, tattoos and thousand of Rape O’Clock memes, all for our favourite Konami bad guy with no face, no real name but full on fear factory of shaky hands and screams in the night.. I honestly do salute you sir.

Silent Hill (2006)

Silent Hill

After the success of the Konami Games,  the game franchise eventually got turned into a movie, this movie was ok, not great.. not really Silent Hill, a ton of mistakes were made, combining two games together, eliminating our favourite hero, Harry and replacing him with a woman, changing around all the great characters into not so great character and trying to explain all the mysteries made everything less scary, also a huge let down by not using Cameron Diaz as Cybil was a shocker as the character in the game was clearly her.. I dunno what they were thinking.

But Pyramid head was able to make his presence known in the film. He kinda looked like Pyramid head, the actor Roberto Campanella did an okay job at looking the part but why did they change the “hat” to black? Humm..

One of the best loved scenes from the film did include our favourite bad boy Pyramid head using some skin to knock on a church door. Apart from some stalking he didn’t really do a lot. He certainly was a pussy compared to the game.

Verdict

Konami Pyramid Head is a tough ombre that caused a lot of bedwetting and got his rocks off in front of everyone. He was ruthless and lets face it not matter how tough you pretend you are, he scares you! I reckon if he was gonna do anymore raping it would be his movie counterpart sprawled out taking it like a loser…. So the original has to be the… 

WINNER

Konami’s Original Pyramid Head (1999).

Pyramid Head

What do you think? Who would you chose to win this battle?