Tag Archives: 2004

36 Quai des Orfèvres (2004)


Director: Olivier Marchal .
Starring: Daniel Auteuil, Gérard Depardieu, André Dussollier, Francis Renaud . France. 1h 51m.

I‘ve not covered a lot of French Cinema on my blog to date and I find this distressing and I’ll have to break this pattern as I watch a lot of French films, but for me some of the outstanding works of modern times are these slick and intelligent crime thrillers. For me this film is an excellent example of how to pay homage to a great director and film without pissing away the energy of a superb story and idea. Continue reading 36 Quai des Orfèvres (2004)


Skinned Deep (2004)


Day 4 of 31

Director: Gabriel Bartalos
Starring: Les Pollack Aaron Sims Kurt Carley Linda Weinrib Forrest J Ackerman Eric Bennett Warwick Davis. USA. 1h 34m

I’m not quite sure where this year’s 31 days of Horror is going but things are going to get strange. You have been warned! I found this hidden gem in the bargain basket for 50p in a drastic closing down sale due to the Dr Satan’s henchmen looking character on the cover and the awesome title, this method of picking a movie is somewhat dodgy but in this particular case it paid off.
skinned deep

It defines the term off the wall, it seems to have inspired brash films like Dear God No! (2011) and has no excuses for its behaviour what-so-ever, and I adore it’s disregard for the rules.
Beginning with a false start, the scary Death Machine (1994) styled toothy guy on the cover slashes a random stranger on the highway in the rain.. After the credits we’re introduced to a typically boring middle of the road American family who are travelling across country and stumble on an out of the way,  family run stop, but this is no ordinary family. To be honest I don’t really understand if these people are related or just a few survivors from a crashed circus bus? There is a runaway Golden Girl who plays mom, Warwick Davis appears as a real poisoned dwarf called Plates who throws plates at people and generally acts like a Gremlin at all other times, Brain/Brian (Jason Dugre) is a strange mutated guy who has a large pulsating brain that protrudes like a giant afro, and his favourite pastimes involve running through the city naked and riding his motorbike… The Dr Satan/Death Machine guy is also part of the family but seems under some control when at home and there is another guy in the basement but I’m keeping this secret…  Sooooo… the two families meet, the typical American family are all slaughtered over dinner by the circus freak family apart from the pretty teen daughter Tina (Karoline Brandt) who; after catching Brian/Brain’s eye and he gets to “keep” her in spare bedroom, it’s okay though, he puts some paper down for her.
Tina makes several escape attempts, goes on a freaky date with Brain, some aged bikers turn up and shit goes down involving a cactus garden and plates.. And some other “things” occur… until Surgeon General (Dr Satan/Death Machine guy) finally makes it into the basement to meet some headless bodybuilder who’s the mastermind behind all this.

It’s hard to know how someone ends up making a film like this, it’s certainly not your typical horror, but it does include a lot of typical horror elements, after all the crazed family in the middle of nowhere isn’t a unique story in itself, it’s aced by similar films such as  House of 1000 Corpses (2003) and Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), but none do it with such a high degree of comedy and without this thick layer of surreal oddball character. The budget is obviously low but the Director, Gabriel Bartalos doesn’t let this hinder his creative streak and some amazing effects are created especially with Death Machine Guy and the headless “Creator” in the the basement.
Overall the film feels like a fuked up nightmare from an underground graphic novel series, probably written by someone high on meths and struggling with life. It’s pretty unpredictable and even though it’s corny as hell at times it’s a great find and a film I thoroughly enjoy every time, from the aged bikers fighting in the cactus garden to Brain running down the strip ballsack naked.. there ‘s just so much to enjoy.

If the film did attempt to be serious for a moment, it would have rivaled Texas Chainsaw with uber violence, outlandish characters and a very disturbing plot, would have yielded some tragically dark and zany cinema, without any shame , sense or reason but something to sit back and chill to to get a laugh and a fright?




Rating 7/10

R House of 1000 corpses (2003), Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
L – Bizarre Horror films. Dwarf Flicks
A – What did I just see? And other films you have to see to believe.
5s – Warwick Davis


Primer (2004)



Director : Shane Curruth
Starring : Shane Curruth, David Sullivan, Casey Gooden.USA.1h 17m

This was a film that I took out of a DVD cover put it in the player watched the movie intently smiled politely put the DVD back in the cover went to the local university, completed a 9 year course and physics just understand the basics of the plot. I jest I simply looked things up on the wiki after watching the film about 15 times. Continue reading Primer (2004)

Dead Man’s Shoes (2004)


dead mans shoes


When I first watched this I didn’t know what to fully expect, I knew it was going to be a British drama with some grisly scenes, but what I didn’t see coming was the full force of dark tormented film making with a stark and dangerous edge.

Paddy Constantine stars as Richard, a troubled veteran who’s returned to seek out the truth about his mentally vulnerable brother Anthony (Toby Kebbell) death, upon a little bit of investigating he soon realises that a group of low lives were befriending him in order to torment him and he soon lavishes them with his own brand of deep psychological torture and a icy revenge. Continue reading Dead Man’s Shoes (2004)

Creep (2004)

Creep Portenta


A bloody and thrilling slasher flick, Creep, as the name suggests tries to play on a lot of those fears that we have very little control over and through some amazing method acting it picks at the psyche to creep us out.

A wannabe fashionista, Kate (Franka Potente) who’s out to make a name for herself discovers some local knowledge and head out to meet George Clooney at a party in  London, she drops off in the underground, when she awakes, in this new world where homeless and serial killer infest the tunnels,  Kate is soon running and fighting for her life as she attempts to escape. Somewhere down in the old archives and miles of unused tunnels below London there is a lot more going on which revolves around a peculiar malformed creature known as Craig. a forgotten left over from a secret science project. Continue reading Creep (2004)

Les Rivières pourpres II: Les anges de l’apocalypse – Crimson Rivers II: Angels of the Apocalypse (2004)

Crimson rivers 2 II


I found this movie in Blockbusters (oh the memories) and my then other half refused to watch it cos “YOU HAVE TO WATCH FILMS IN THE CORRECT ORDER”  woah.. anyway I watched and loved it and then watched part one and guess what, you can watch them in any fucking order cos they are independent films (like i read on the IMDb.. shhh). *ahem* The Crimson Rivers II is a dark thrilling action mystery starring Jean Reno and Beniot Magimel as a pair of dysfunctional cops on the search for a bizarre criminal gang, this is a sequel to Les Rivières pourpres –  The Crimson Rivers (2000) both written by Jean-Christophe Grangé. Continue reading Les Rivières pourpres II: Les anges de l’apocalypse – Crimson Rivers II: Angels of the Apocalypse (2004)



(Horror, Thriller 2004) (18) D/W : Sheldon Wilson S: Timothy Murphy 1h 37m. USA

TAGLINE : Fear your past… it will find you.

A naked teenage boy covered in blood appears at a remote sheriffs station one year after the brutal unsolved murder of a local girl.

Another low budget; or at least TV grade easy to guess the end flashing photography poor excuse for a horror movie. OK I’m being callous but as much as this movie tells an out of the ordinary supernatural story it also sucks. Maybe this could have made a better Tales of the Unexpected or Outer Limits episode rather than dragging out a pretty obvious story. I did like the first half of the movie a story starts to form and progress but then it hits a brick wall and a series of lame dream sequences take over and left me begging for the end despite the uber appealing Timothy Murphy.