Director: Brad Silberling
Starring: WIll Ferrell, Anna Friel, Danny McBride, Jorma, Taccone. USA 1h 32m
This turned out to be a slightly psychotronic and fairly deranged movie. Having an air about it similar to the legendary Buckaroo Banzai while tossed into the Twilight Zone with the Flintstones.
A space-time vortex sucks scientist Rick Marshall (Ferrell), his assistant Holly (Friel) and a survivam nut Will (McBride) into a world populated by dinosaurs and painfully slow creatures called Sleestaks. With few resources at their disposal, Rick, Holly and Will must rely on their only ally, a primate named Chaka (Taccone), to try to survive long enough to figure out a way back home. Continue reading Land of the Lost (2009)
It was a short night but I just about managed two films
Haunting in Connecticut (2009)
I wasn’t too bothered with this when it was first advertised but then I found out it was based on a true story and ectoplasm was present and I was SOLD! The first time I watched it I did get a few chills, but it seemed to have really pissed over the true story. Generally it’s slated and carries a low rating on rottentomatoes which is a shame, but it could have been shorter and the magic doesn’t happen until you watch the extras, that’s when I turned on the lights. So a family relocates after their son is diagnosed with cancer, they aim to be closer to the hospital but end up moving into an ex funeral home, that was used to séances the house soon starts to show signs of powerful paranormal activity. If you haven’t watched the extras or know much about the real story check it out. But what really grinds my gears is why is ectoplasm left out of movies.. it’s an awesome concept. 6/10 (10/10 for the extras). Continue reading Last Nights Movies 01-08-2017
One of those life changing movies, and continues to be my go to film from time to time, a small indie movie graced by some impressive names, just because it’s that darn good of a film. Ghostdog is a lonely character, is only friend is a French speaking ice cream seller, his passion is Bushido and his Pigeons. After being saved by a mob boss, his adapted the way of the Samurai and looks upon this man as his master and he is a retainer. The mafia uses his dedication and sends him out to do hits. One goes awry and the mob turn on Ghostdog, but they don’t’ know who they are fucking with. Forest Whittaker plays the main character and he’s perfect, RZA had a hand in it’s production and the soundtrack takes a facet from each style of black music, it almost started a movement, (black) urban samurai 9/10
Continue reading La Weekend July 5
Soooo.. it was a long night, I did get started early, straight in and onto Law(n) and Order, I’m slowly working through the Boxset, no idea why I find it so thrilling lately but I do…
So after that conundrum I got back to the movies..
I started watching this first movie at the weekend but it go so boring I stopped and I got back to it today… and it didn’t improve…
*Gray Lady (2017) A seasoned police officer loses his sister and wife to the same criminal mastermind while on a respite he carries on his investigations into their murders on the island of Nantucket, going back to his origins uncovers more than he bargained for. There are hints of a deep and tangled web of treachery but it’s so lame, there were no shockers or twists as everything is lovingly sign posted and predictable is theme to this flick. being distributed by Anchor Bay I was expecting something outstanding in some way but I didn’t know they started shoveling shit.. I must admit I was hoping for a ghost story, but it turned out to be a bit of a family feud started over a tragic misunderstanding .As the details unraveled instead of the film becoming more interesting I just lost the ability to give a shit. Actor turned Director John Shea hasn’t done anything since Southie (1998) despite his cameo in this film he should stick to acting. The funniest aspect of the film for me how everyone is a look alike to someone awesome, the lead detective and all round good guy Eric Dane looks like a poor relation to William Petersen and the rough and ready rouge of the island Chris Meyer looks incredibly like a chubby Karl Urban 2/10 Continue reading Last Night’s Movies 24.07.2017
Director: Richard Clabaugh
Starring: Adrian Paul, Megan Blake, Luke Eberl, Danny Trejo, USA. 1h 42m
It’s a bit shabby and cheap but the message is poignant and makes the movie bearable. The budget is low, which you’ll fathom from the cast, but the ideas steam right from 1970’s paranoid sci fi but sadly those retro stories all seem to be coming true which is what sparked my interest in watching this film again. With proposals of using more drones due to the decrease of police on the streets, reminded me of a short story from Philip K Dick about small “justice” robots that enforced the law, but through their AI the results start to become more deadly as the bots start to rethink what crime is. Continue reading Eyeborgs (2009)
Director: James Wong.
Starring: Chow Yun-Fat and some other people including Justin Chatwin, James Masters. USA. 1h 25m.
Sometimes a manga series can inspire huge things, and with a thriving fanbase both in Japan and here it’s something with could easily break the box office and sway merchandising for years to come. Admittedly I adore the animated series and would have been happy to watch a feature length film made with the same retro feel and expressions, going live, usually ruins such things but I was very interested to see how my favourite characters were going to be whitewashed and ruined, I guess there is a mini masochist inside of us all. Continue reading Dragonball: Evolution (2009)
Day 11 of 31
Director: Sam Raimi
Starring: Alison Lohman Justin Long Lorna Raver Dileep Rao David Paymer Adriana Barraza. USA. 1h 39m
This playful full horror film turns a tragedy until waking nightmare, And coming from the king of comedy horror, Sam Raimi this film is almost faultless. Anything that digs its way out of the twisted minds that unleash the Evil Dead (1981) onto an unsuspecting cinematic audience this weirdtastic thriller centres around and ambitious loan clark at the bank who attempts to impress her boss by being unnecessarily firm with a an old gypsy woman who was literally begging for an extension on a home loan Christie believes that she successful made the “tough call” that was so very important and is now front of the line for the illustrious promotion but little does this small town country girl know how much truth is in the curse that has been laid upon her by the old Gypsy Mrs. Ganush (Lorna Raver). Once strange things start to occur Christine seeks help help my local psychic Rham Jas (Dileep Rao) but with the skeptical long suffering boyfriend Clay (Justin Long) who rubbishes any notion of a curse down to coincidence Christine has to soldier on facing her personal demons along with the Lamia that might actually be trying to drag her to hell.
Continue reading Drag me to hell (2009)
Director : Harmony Korine
Starring :Rachel Korine Brian Kotzur Travis Nicholson Harmony Korine. USA. 1h 37m
Several years after the success of Gummo (1997) Harmony Korine returned with several starkly mystifying movies but it wasn’t until trash humpers did he manage to recreate the magic of Gummo but with the elderly and this time on home video, And that would be used home videos.
This psycho-mental black comedy comes in the guise of a horror drama as we proceed to follow the most peculiar elderly residents around wreaking deadly social havok. The Misfits are described by the director as “loser-gang cult-freak collective”, and the antics are nonlinear but equally disturbing, from actually humping Trash and any other inanimate object to hiring a troupe of plus-size prostitute they managed to out do boys from gummo while tanking down gallons of alcohol. Continue reading Trash Humpers (2009)
Sometimes a film will completely change a genre by being totally new and a super breath of fresh air and everyone loves it. Then there is Død Sno, now i’m not saying it’s the opposite but it utilises everything that we’ve already seen but just makes it fucking awesome!!!
I’m not sure why it’s so perfect?! Maybe it takes a while after all the clichés have been played out to the nth degree that finally we can parody them?! Luckily it doesn’t become ridiculous like Scary Movie (2000) but there some very comical scenes in between the buckets of gore, metal soundtrack and some cute snowy Zombie’s.
Basically a group of teens go out to the middle of nowhere, find some cursed nazi gold and get stalked by horde of zombies but it’s unashamed and holds no punches whatsoever. The blood literally flows and there is no fucking around, these kids are clued up and know what zombies are and what you may need to cut off to stay alive.
This is a fresh take on the aged and now somewhat boring genre, that was frayed into a tattered mess with a huge barrage of shitty zombie films to satisfy the Hollywood overlords. But instead of following the herd this runs off into the middle of the field butt naked and swinging glo sticks, screaming come and have some fun!! Not to be taken seriously this film is dangerously fun.
Full review to come soon.
Director Marcus Dunstan
Writer Marcus Dunstan / Patrick Melton
Starring Josh Stewart, Michael Reilly Burke, Andrea Roth, Juan Fernandez, USA 1h 30m
I wasn’t sure if this was going to be a film about stamp collecting or soul collecting but it turns out to be about a psychopath with a McGuyver manual who “always takes one”, so he’s not a gifted collector huh…
Arkin O’Brien (Josh Stewart) is an ex convict who’s not making an honest living as a handyman, he’s currently doing a lot of work for the Chase family and has become attached to their daughter, he starts noticing a lot of insects around the home and eventually an exterminator is called in. On returning home, his wife gives him the terrible news that she needs a lotta money by midnight to pay off a series of loan sharks , Arkin has to don his thief cap again and decides to rob the Chase family, while attempting to crack the safe he hears someone else entering the house and screams coming from the basement, there is something very strange going on in the Chase household tonight, Mr Chase enters the room ready to attack Arkin but he’s bloody and bruised. He triggers a trap which incapacitates him and when Arkin tries to call the police the phone is bobby trapped (in a very painful way) and then he realises the windows are boarded up and also laced with a trap… Continue reading The Collector (2009)