Tag Archives: 2009

Eyeborgs (2009)

Director:  Richard Clabaugh
Starring: Adrian Paul, Megan Blake, Luke Eberl, Danny Trejo, USA. 1h 42m

It’s a bit shabby and cheap but the message is poignant and makes the movie bearable. The budget is low, which you’ll fathom from the cast, but the ideas steam right from 1970’s paranoid sci fi but sadly those retro stories all seem to be coming true which is what sparked my interest in watching this film again. With proposals of using more drones due to the decrease of police on the streets, reminded me of a short story from Philip K Dick about small “justice” robots that enforced the law, but through their AI the results start to become more deadly as the bots start to rethink what crime is. Continue reading Eyeborgs (2009)

Dragonball: Evolution (2009)

Director: James Wong.
Starring: Chow Yun-Fat and some other people including Justin Chatwin, James Masters. USA. 1h 25m.

Sometimes a manga series can inspire huge things, and with a thriving fanbase both in Japan and here it’s something with could easily break the box office and sway merchandising for years to come. Admittedly I adore the animated series and would have been happy to watch a feature length film made with the same retro feel and expressions, going live, usually ruins such things but I was very interested to see how my favourite characters were going to be whitewashed and ruined, I guess there is a mini masochist inside of us all. Continue reading Dragonball: Evolution (2009)

Drag me to hell (2009)

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Day 11 of 31

Director: Sam Raimi
Starring: Alison Lohman Justin Long Lorna Raver Dileep Rao David Paymer Adriana Barraza. USA. 1h 39m

This playful full horror film turns a tragedy until waking nightmare, And coming from the king of comedy horror,  Sam Raimi this film is almost faultless.  Anything that digs its way out of the twisted minds that unleash the Evil Dead (1981) onto an unsuspecting cinematic audience this  weirdtastic thriller centres around and ambitious loan clark at the bank who attempts to impress her boss by being unnecessarily firm with a  an old gypsy woman who was literally begging for an extension on a home loan Christie believes that she successful made the “tough call” that was so very important and is now front of the line for the illustrious promotion but little does this small town country girl know how much truth is in the curse that has been laid upon her by the old Gypsy Mrs. Ganush (Lorna Raver). Once strange things start to occur Christine seeks help help my local psychic Rham Jas (Dileep Rao) but with the skeptical long suffering boyfriend Clay (Justin Long) who rubbishes any notion of a curse down to coincidence Christine has to soldier on facing her personal demons along with the Lamia that might actually be trying to drag her to hell.

drag-me-to-hell-gross Continue reading Drag me to hell (2009)

Trash Humpers (2009)

trash humpers

Director : Harmony Korine
Starring :Rachel Korine Brian Kotzur Travis Nicholson Harmony Korine.  USA. 1h 37m

Several years after the success of Gummo (1997) Harmony Korine returned with several starkly mystifying movies but it wasn’t until trash humpers did he manage to recreate the magic of Gummo but with the elderly and this time on home video, And that would be used home videos.

This psycho-mental black comedy comes in the guise of a horror drama as we proceed to follow the most peculiar elderly residents around wreaking deadly social havok. The Misfits are described by the director as “loser-gang cult-freak collective”,  and the antics are nonlinear but equally disturbing,  from actually humping Trash and any other inanimate object to hiring a troupe of  plus-size prostitute they managed to out do boys from gummo while tanking down gallons of alcohol. Continue reading Trash Humpers (2009)

Død Sno – Dead Snow (2009)

Dead Snow Dod Sno

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Sometimes a film will completely change a genre by being totally new and a super breath of fresh air and everyone loves it. Then there is Død Sno,  now i’m not saying it’s the opposite but it utilises everything that we’ve already seen but just makes it fucking awesome!!!

I’m not sure why it’s so perfect?! Maybe it takes a while after all the clichés have been played out to the nth degree that finally we can parody them?! Luckily it doesn’t become ridiculous like Scary Movie (2000) but there some very comical scenes in between the buckets of gore, metal soundtrack and some cute snowy Zombie’s.

Basically a group of teens go out to the middle of nowhere, find some cursed nazi gold and get stalked by horde of zombies but it’s unashamed and holds no punches whatsoever. The blood literally flows and  there is no fucking around, these kids are clued up and know what zombies are and what you may need to cut off to stay alive.

This is a fresh take on the aged and now somewhat boring genre, that was frayed into a tattered mess with a huge barrage of shitty zombie films to satisfy the Hollywood overlords. But instead of following the herd this runs off into the middle of the field butt naked and swinging glo sticks, screaming come and have some fun!! Not to be taken seriously this film is dangerously fun.

8/10

Full review to come soon.

The Collector (2009)

 

collector

Director Marcus Dunstan
Writer Marcus Dunstan / Patrick Melton
Starring  Josh Stewart, Michael Reilly Burke, Andrea Roth, Juan Fernandez, USA 1h 30m

I wasn’t sure if this was going to be a film about stamp collecting or soul collecting but it turns out to be about a psychopath with a McGuyver manual who “always takes one”, so he’s not a gifted collector huh…

Arkin O’Brien (Josh Stewart) is an ex convict who’s not making an honest living as a handyman, he’s currently doing a lot of work for the Chase family and has become attached to their daughter, he starts noticing a lot of insects around the home and eventually an exterminator is called in. On returning home, his wife gives him the terrible news that she needs a lotta money by midnight to pay off a series of loan sharks , Arkin has to don his thief cap again and decides to rob the Chase family, while attempting to crack the safe he hears someone else entering the house and screams coming from the basement, there is something very strange going on in the Chase household tonight, Mr Chase enters the room ready to attack Arkin but he’s bloody and bruised. He triggers a trap which incapacitates him and when Arkin tries to call the police the phone is bobby trapped (in a very painful way) and then he realises the windows are boarded up and also laced with a trap… Continue reading The Collector (2009)

Splice (2009)

 

Splice

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It was really weird watching this after so long, but Splice came on TV around the time I was getting dinner ready and so I had to stay and watch it all the way through. Because… you know there is so much I don’t like about the movie but it’s sadly quite watchable.

Two amazing biology hipsters Clive (Adrien Brody) and Elsa (Sarah Polley) manage to splice lifeforms together to not only make new creatures who synthesize shit that some coporation want, but in secret they want to take things a step further but end up taking things a step too far and create Dren (Delphine Chaneac) a hybrid between a host of creatures with the addition of human DNA. Elsa welcomes Dren into the world and mothers her through her rapid growth and imminent decline, but the faster she evolves, the more her creators start to realise that they may have made a catastrophic mistake. Continue reading Splice (2009)

Down Terrace (2009)

down terrace robin hill

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A taut drama that’s as equally raw as it is brutal. Coming from the imaginative mind of my newest all time favourite directors, Ben Wheatley, who had a number of equally cold and calculating bizarre thrillers under his belt now.

The Brighton family have recently hit a small hiccup in their operations, it seems the crime enriched clan have an informant amongst them, the news is out to the crims above them from London and they are cautioned to find out who this individual is, and the film become a very unusual blood bath. On top of all of these problems Karl’s ex girlfriend, Valda turns up pregnant, the new addition to this alka seltzer popping bunch of sociopaths isn’t as welcome in times where no one can be trusted. Continue reading Down Terrace (2009)

Mutants (2009)

mutants

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Being a horror movie and a romance based drama Mutants has it’s ups and downs. On one hand the movie is displaying a genetic apocalypse and the last fight of survival of mankind and on the other hand it’s plucking at the heartstrings of a couple who are deeply in love and being torn apart from a virus, but it does keep itself firmly set in the fact that it’s just a generic horror movie and nothing to do with zombies!! phew!! Continue reading Mutants (2009)

District 9 (2009)

District 9

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I had adored this bizarre and intriguing sci fi movie from the first viewing and managed to get it really cheap and it seemed to have done nothing but piss off the masses, which is good for me, so I suppose this just might be the unpopular review.. fuelled by stretched racial relations and tainted by oppression, power and greed a hint of humanity shines through but not from many of the humans in this mockumentary styled film.

The main premise is that an alien ship has got stuck over the city of Johannesburg, after the initial shock and the rescue of the aliens (who are called “Prawns” as a socially accepted insult), from their own ship, we’re not all that impressed with them, they have been moved to a  makeshift shanty town where they are monitored by MNU a weapons company who are acting as temporary care takers but who are more interested in alien technology and who have the laborious task of moving them to a new site. The job to organise this move goes to Wikus Van De Merwe (Sharlto Copley) an extremely mild mannered pushover sap of a man who encounters a strange chemical on the site which bizarrely links him to the “prawns” in a strange twist of fate it also makes him a target for MNU. Continue reading District 9 (2009)