Tag Archives: 2017

Monster Project (2017)

 

Day 7 – Monster Project

Director: Victor Mathieu.
Starring. Jamal Quezaire,Justin Bruening,Murielle Zuker, Toby Hemingway, Yvonne ZimaUSA. 1h 34m.

I want to kick myself after watching this film, I had high hopes and every one of them was smashed into pieces. It’s particularly hard for me as I often defend found footage movies, it’s such a unique genre that is often hated on and with movies like this… I have to hold my hands up and agree.

A couple of YouTube pranksters film fake monster and paranormal videos, they’re in it for the YouTube Bucks and the Likes, but they want to try and be more authentic and want to find real monsters to film to prove their existence. After making this snap decision they just pop out and find a few real critters, including a sleepwalker, a vampire tattooist, a real possessed Japanese chick who levitates and does the usual Sadako shit, after confirming their credentials, they hook up with their long lost ex’s and go to a remote location and begin the interviews. It’s quite apparent that one of the main members of the cast has a few inner demons to exorcise from his past and soon he becomes a focal point but why? Continue reading Monster Project (2017)

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It Comes at Night (2017)

Day 7 – It Comes At Night 

Director:Trey Edward Shults .
Starring. Joel Edgerton, Riley Keough, Christopher Abbott, Carmen Ejogo, Kelvin Harrison Jr. USA. 1h 37m.

In the aftermath of a apocalyptic virus that has wiped out most of our modern civilisation a family tries to carve out an existence in the backwoods of the USA, after bringing in some outsiders their laus trophic tale brings the two families together before everything gets ripped apart.

Trey Edwards Shults (a name that’s hard to forget but easy to misspell) worked as a crew member on Terrence Malick movies and it seems that the experience has left a big impression on him, after his low budget debut SXSW, about an eccentric woman show up to a family reunion, he now digs his heels into horror that’s not quite horror… *gulp* post horror? This impressive movie whose title seems to have little to do with the content of the film. Continue reading It Comes at Night (2017)

It stains the sands red (2016)

 

Day 6 – It Stains the Sands Red

Director: Colin Minihan
Starring: Brittany Allen, Juan Riedinger, Merwin Mondesir Canada. 1h 32m.

On days when I’m laid up with the flu I usually end up watching a terrible b movie while hallucinating on extreme flu remedies, it tends to make the film more enjoyable, that time I did this I watched Chemical Peel, this year I watched It Stains the Sands Red and I really enjoyed this offbeat zombie drama.
Molly, a powder sniffing pole dancer with a few daddy issues gets stranded in the desert while being hunted down by one lone unrelenting zombie. At first she enjoying keeping a few paces ahead of the foul smelling ghoul but soon she realises that the zombie doesn’t need to rest but strangely she forms a bond with it and the ordeal turns out to be therapy for the demons that have been chasing Molly all of her life. Continue reading It stains the sands red (2016)

Kong: Skull Island (2017)

Director: Jordan Vogt-Roberts
Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Tom Hiddleston, John Goodman, Brie Larson, John C Reilly, Toby Kebbell, Corey Hawkins. USA. 1h48m.

When I first heard about this film I was shaking my head crying about Another remake, but I still headed out to see it, just because I wanted to have a sofa to myself at the new local Empire Cinema,so I booked those two seats baby!

So it’s not a remake but it is a remake, yet again we’re discovering Kong but he’s not King anymore, in the same was that Spider man is not just a spider man he’s the AMAZING Spiderman, so now that King Kong had been downgraded and a slightly different persona and his tastes for blondes has been abandoned.
Continue reading Kong: Skull Island (2017)

Last Night’s Movies 26.07.2017

There was a terrible traffic jam and as the roads were dead I decided to duck into the pub and right across the road is the indie cinema soooooo… I took my pint over the road and got tickets for….

*47 Metres Down (2017) I finally found an indie cinema still showing this, I dunno why I wanted to see this and now I’ve seen it, I dunno why I bothered, after sitting down it dawned on me, this is a movie about a couple of girls in a cage in shark infested water, how much can you expand on that in an hour and 20 minutes…. but I like to keep an open mind. It starts out slow,  it takes 20 minutes before the sisters are on the boat. The backstory is irrelevant and the attempt to pull at the heart strings is isn’t needed but once they are out in the blue yonder under the guidance of Matthew Modine, who looks older but sounds exactly like Private joker and that’s a bonus as most of the film he’s a voice in their ears. The chum is chucked and the girls get dunked and with an hour of oxygen and an hour of movie the rest is supposed to be in pseudo real time. The film focuses on the girls after they get dropped to the sea bed, and bizarrely the great white sharks circling them don’t really get a lot of screen time, but this isn’t a scary shark movie it’s an underwater thriller, without any thrills…there are frights but there’s lots of puzzle solving and cute twist at the ending, you see it coming a mile on.. in fact it line up for this twist is as subtle as Conner McGregor but on the whole it’s just another underwater film. I wasn’t won over by it, it’s incredibly made and looks stunning but unlike something like Jaws (I didn’t want to mention it but…) which has a lot more storyline to it, I just don’t see myself watching it again.. but it was good to see at last but there is no treasure in this wreck 3/10 Continue reading Last Night’s Movies 26.07.2017

Last Night’s Movies 24.07.2017

 

Soooo.. it was a long night, I did get started early, straight in and onto Law(n) and Order, I’m slowly working through the Boxset, no idea why I find it so thrilling lately but I do…

So after that conundrum I got back to the movies..

 

I started watching this first movie at the weekend but it go so boring I stopped and I got back to it today… and it didn’t improve…

 

*Gray Lady (2017) A seasoned police officer loses his sister and wife to the same criminal mastermind while on a respite he carries on his investigations into their murders on the island of Nantucket, going back to his origins uncovers more than he bargained for. There are hints of a deep and tangled web of treachery but it’s so lame, there were no shockers or twists as everything is lovingly sign posted and predictable is theme to this flick. being distributed by Anchor Bay I was expecting something outstanding in some way but I didn’t know they started shoveling shit.. I must admit I was hoping for a ghost story, but it turned out to be a bit of a family feud started over a tragic misunderstanding .As the details unraveled instead of the film becoming more interesting I just lost the ability to give a shit. Actor turned Director John Shea hasn’t done anything since Southie (1998) despite his cameo in this film he should stick to acting. The funniest aspect of the film for me how everyone is a look alike to someone awesome, the lead detective and all round good guy Eric Dane looks like a poor relation to William Petersen and the rough and ready rouge of the island Chris Meyer looks incredibly like a chubby Karl Urban 2/10 Continue reading Last Night’s Movies 24.07.2017

Boyka –  Undispited IV (2016)

Director: Todor Chapkanov.
Starring. Scott Adkins, Bulgaria. 1h 13m.

BOYKA BOYKA BOYKA!! Scott Adkins should just change his name to Uri Boyka, I mean this wholeheartedly, he’s so perfect for this role. Although in this new instalment of Undisputed Boyka is a little different. After gaining his freedom in Undisputed 3, I did predict that Boyka would have a massive change of heart and run an orphanage, and I was close. .. (shush don’t burst my bubble). So Boyka is refreshed, a free man, he’s still fighting with devastating results, and is being noticed by influential people and could possibly start going pro, he has an important fight coming up but to keep fresh he’s still taking out the competition. After delivering some bibles to the local church Boyka is seen SMILING!!! OMG the priest urges him to stop fighting, live a better life, but he’s soon back in the ring, the first is brutal, he’s back to telling everyone to “shut the fuck up” and then beats the living shit out of his opponent. After the fight he notices the medics removing the guy, he doesn’t look good. Boyka gets news of his death and feeling immensely guilty he collects his belonging and finds a letter to his (late) wife. Boyka is grief stricken and decides to take the letter to her in Russia, where he’s still a wanted man. Continue reading Boyka –  Undispited IV (2016)

Last Night’s Movies 02.07.2017

Totally one of those nights where I got totally bummed out from the first movie that I had to make up the rest of the night by watching some awesome movies to make up for it.. So low and behold the shitness that is….

*The Bigfoot Project (2017) –I adore bigfoot movies, books, documentaries and even those creepy videos on YouTube, so seeking this mockery was a huge disappointment.  But I just about managed to sit through it…A group of amateur filmmakers embark on a tour of some backwoods in Georgia (even though it was filmed in California)  in search of Bigfoot. Everything that could go wrong does, and the lame collegehumor requires more than a couple of blunts in order to really be appreciated. It’s hard to distinguish the difference between a tree and actor for most of the film and there is a long enough pause after each “gag” in order to the audience to process the joke. It’s filmed as mockumentary, and it feels largely ad libbed, the improv is often ballsed up but the camera work is on point. I was so exhausted by the end of the film I can’t even remember if they found proof of Bigfoot or Bigfeet existence, and I won’t be re watching to find out.

1/10

 

 


Lone Wolf and Cub – Episode 3 and 4 (1972) – My mother is a huge fan of Asian Cinema, and one of the films I was restricted from until I was about 9… was the legendary Shogun Assassin, she thought it was a bit too much for me as she managed to wrangle an amazing (nearly) uncut version, I fell in love with the film from the first viewing but the film seemed a bit odd, after some research I found out that there are many more movies. We both instantly fell in love with ALL the films and it’s become a bit of a family tradition to watch them all around the Christmas Holiday season. Although after years of watching 1-2 I rarely watch them now, I usually start with the 3rd movie and carry on which was going to be the attempt tonight to try and erase the Bigfoot Tragedy from my mind.

Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart to Hades – this should have been titled Baby Cart in a Brothel.. They don’t actually enter a brothel but they do have to save a girl who’s being sold into the business. Along with a massive battle against Ninja’s these two amazing gents really know how to show a girl a good time. The amount of killings in each film is probably on the verge of a world record, Shogun Assassin I think still has the No.1 spot for the most kills in a movie.I know Ogami Itto has the most kills for his character as the lone wolf and no one better try and take that from him.. Goddam I love Samurai’s.

10/10

Next

Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart in Peril – This episode is one of my favourites as there is a grown ass man who is afraid of a little boy, like petrified of a small kid with a stick. There is also a female assassin with tattoos on her boobs to distract people, she reminds me of me… But still it’s a detailed and brutal journey for the peaceful family as they have to fight for their survival yet again and against a new foe from the past. There is so much honour and love in these movies, but what sets this one apart is that the cub starts to really come into this own and shows signs of taking on the Samurai code himself.

10/10

The autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)

 

Director: André Ovredal
Starring: Brian Cox, Emile Hirsch,  USA. 1h 39m

I was pretty psyched about this film, thinking it was going to be some cop drama about a dead chick and while ripping her body apart they get hurled into an investigation that was going to change their lives, but this is what I get for not checking out more about the movie..it’s something totally different, fortunately it turned out to be much better than I ever imagined.

Brian Cox and Emile Hirsch play a father and son duo who work in the mortuary lab, and are tasked with performing an autopsy on a Jane Doe discovered in an unusual spot, under the home of a family that have been brutally murdered, Cox is still training his son in the fine art of dissecting and inspecting bodies, the old school champion still abides by lots of historic methods including the tying of bell to the toe of a corpse, which his son and his girlfriend find quite amusing until the old man scares them with his old wit.

The two fearless men, decide to pull an allnighter to work out why this woman died, as she doesn’t appear to have any wounds, her body is in pristine condition. So how did she die? From the moment the make the first cut and start taking her apart, things start happening, strangely her blood flows, which is not normal for a dead body, blood coagulates after death right? They discover more questionable items within her and about her body. Her tongue has been removed, her heart is scarred, there is cloth placed inside of her, what happened to this girl and why? As the night draws on they notice strange noises coming from the corridors and in the morgue shelves, that’s when things really start getting strange.

The atmosphere and tense situations are really magnified in the later scenes of this film, it doesn’t spend a lot of time introducing the plot and story which is great as it has so much more to offer during the actual autopsy which is the bulk of the film. It’s gripping and imaginative, slowly a story eeks out that dates back to the 1800’s, it’s elegantly crafted to keep you gripped, I lost my breath a few times. The men have to use their wits and knowledge to combat the strange happenings in the once familiar setting which becomes very dangerous and alien to them.

Every body has a secret.

Brian Cox is always a gem, and gives a brilliant performance here, as a protector and investigator; he’s backed up by Hirsch who reminds me of a more serious Jack Black, but as the momentum builds, he slowly steps up to the mark and really develops an interesting character as the student/son, he becomes more believable  it’s an usual change of pase from Norwegian Director André Øvredal who gave a thrill on an epic scheme with Trollhunter (2010) and successfully creates a film as equally ambitious and creative, but with totally different creepy origins and it continues to deliver a brilliant unfolding mystery until it’s tinkling end.

 

 

Rating – 8/10

R – The Witch (2015), The Conjuring 2 (2016), The Girl with All the Gifts (2016)
L – Corpses…

Post Discussion

 

The Institute (2017)


Directors:
Pamela Romanowsky, James Franco
Starring: James Franco, Allie Gallerani,Tim Blake Nelson,Joe Pease, Lori Singer, Eric Roberts. USA. 1h 30m.

A grief stricken Isabelle (Gallerani) checks herself into the Rosewood asylum to find a cure for her melancholy, her dedicated brother Robert (Pease) is deeply concerned about how the death of their parents have affected her and checks in on her and the history of the asylum despite being urged by the trusted Dr Torrington (Roberts) that it’s the best hospital in the country. Isobelle becomes a patient under the highly talented and slightly eccentric Dr. Carin (Franco) and his creepy surgeon sidekick Dr. Lemelle (Nelson). As Isobelle starts to become aware that there are other women at the asylum who seem second class, injured and shabby the crawl the halls, but she’s promised that she won’t have to be around them and her care is seperate but she strikes up a friendship with them. Continue reading The Institute (2017)