Tag Archives: g

Garden Of Love (2003)

Director: Olaf Ittenbach.
Starring.Natacza Boon, James Matthews-Pyecka, Daryl Jackson. Germany. 1h 26m.

It’s quite easy to slate a film just because of it’s shoddy acting and low budget but then there are a few golden films where we actually really adore them just for those reasons, I want to name the Room (2003) but really I don’t know why it’s’ the best of the worst.. but it is. Garden of Love has some pretty bad qualities, poor production being the more noticeable but there is a damn fine slasher movie somewhere in the mess. Continue reading Garden Of Love (2003)

Geung Si – Rigor Mortis (2013)

rigor-mortis

Director: Juno Mak.
Starring: Chin Siu-ho Anthony Chan Kara Hui Lo Hoi-pang Paw Hee-ching. Hong Kong. 1h 41m.

A detailed and superb Hong Kong film directed by Juno Mak, is a tribute to the Mr Vampire (1985+) series and features many of the same actors.

A formerly successful actor Chin Siu-ho (the star of Mr Vampire), becomes depressed and suicidal when he wife leaves him. He moves into a run down apartment and soon after his welcoming ceremony he decides to hang himself, but as he’s losing consciousness a pair of twin ghosts possess his body. Yau, a retired vampire hunter breaks in, cuts him down and exorcises the spirits from Chin’s body. Continue reading Geung Si – Rigor Mortis (2013)

The Gift (2015)

the-gift

Director: Joel Edgerton
Starring: Jason Bateman, Rebecca Hall, Joel Edgerton, USA. 1h 48m

I regret not  watching this at the cinema as I was so convinced that it was going to be yet another jump scare horror that I respectfully sat it out, but now that I’ve found some time to watch it, I found it quite an intriguing directorial debut from Joel Edgerton, based on a screenplay that his initially titled Weirdo which drew inspiration from Alfred Hitchcock and it’s hard not to see a stark alliance with the Vengeance Trilogy. Continue reading The Gift (2015)

Grave Encounters (2011)

aofa31days2016

Day 20 of 31

 

Grave Encounters – (Horror, Supernatural, Found footage,  2011) (18) D: Colin Minihan, Stuart Ortiz and others  P: Shawn Angelski, Michael Karlin and others C: ben Wilkinson, Sean Rogerson, Ashleigh Gryko, Merwin Mondesir. 1h 32m. USA.

Grave Encounters

One of the most easily accessible and favourite found footage horrors, that is literally spread very thickly over YouTube in video’s claiming to have real ghost footage, so I feel like I’ve done myself a disservice by not watching this sooner because it now plays out like a YouTube best ghost clips real and at various points throughout the movie I was in full dejavu mode. Still it’s an uneasy yet engaging supernatural movie. Written and directed by the Vicious Brothers and premiering in 2011, it strives to and succeeded to deliver a few new haunts to the found footage genre. Continue reading Grave Encounters (2011)

Ich seh ich seh-  Goodnight Mommy (2014)

Goodnight Mommy (2)

Directors: Severin Fiala, Veronika Franz
Writers: Veronika Franz (screenplay), Severin Fiala (screenplay)
Starring: Lukas Schwarz, Elias Schwarz, Susanne Wuest. Austria. 1h 39m

In the heat of a long summer, twin boys await the return of their mother after her cosmetic surgery, her return doesn’t bring the happiness you’d expect from a mother returning to her 9 year old children, they suspect another person has taken her place and search for the truth as her reactions to them are tragically different from what they remember, who or what is really under the bandages. Continue reading Ich seh ich seh-  Goodnight Mommy (2014)

3 Horror Shorts, Laugh, Grin and Vienna waits for you

Laugh (2015)
Director: Kantorn Chantorn
Starring Vorasit Tatrivijid, Thitika Phongcharndech. Thailand?. 2m 53s

I initially found this while reviewing Hi  and The Passenger and should have made it a triple bill then but failed to do so. It’s quite funny watching a horror movie on youtube that is a guy watching a movie on youtube. Basically man along at home watching TV and laughing along, hears a woman laugh with him, but he’s home alone. It’s a little creepy but it made less so buy the really loud and constant atmospheric music, cut that down and allow the laugh to actually be scary and it might be more effective. 4/10 Continue reading 3 Horror Shorts, Laugh, Grin and Vienna waits for you

Goblin (2010)

goblin

quickflick
Director:
Jeffrey Scott Landon
Starring: Gil Bellows, Camille Sullivan,  USA. 1h 40m

This movie is a joke! It’s one of those terrible “horror” movies that can come on at tea time and won’t scare your gran. I’m not sure why or how these get made but here is Goblin. prepared to be bored.
Starting with a brave but done to death dramatic intro, a woman’s baby is tossed into an open fire during a Salem witch trial scenario and in response she curses the town and any child who is born from this olde day onwards but resurrecting a goblin from the ashes of her dead baby. Cut to modern day generic family  having to move into the country and ruff it with some locals who start acting strange and boom, mythological creature is stalking everyone.
Then the movie properly cuts to the modern-day where we see a young family settling down into a new home in a shady village in the middle of nowhere, all of the residents are quite concerned about the fact that the family have young children obvious to the viewer is fully aware of the Witch who just put a  curse the entire village in any newborn but the family has left to their own devices. Continue reading Goblin (2010)

Gingerclown  (2013)

gingerclown

Director : Balazs Hatvani
Starring : Tim Curry, Lance Henriksen, Brad Dourif, Erin Hayes. Hungary. 1h 23m

The cover looked amazing and it promised so many good things and great actors, some of my absolute favourites but sadly it just delivered a bunch of crap and I’m glad I found it in Poundland. It claims to have a great cast, including… Tim Curry, Lance Henriksen, Sean Young and Brad Dourif! So what went wrong?  

The plot of this Hungarian horror sounds amazing and has so many possibilities. It tars Erin Hayes and Ashley Lloyd as high school students who break  into an old amusement park inhabited by MONSTERS!!! the teens and their friends encounter a range of putrid creatures as they are stalked by the “Gingerclown” into this twisted nightmare.

Literally the first few seconds I was livid with the bum acting and pathetic jokes, and I’m not saying this literally because I hate comedy it’s really bad, not that so bad it’s good, it’s just shit. So the jocks flex a bit of muscle then dare the weak kid to go into the abandoned amusement park , where the Gingerclown is stalking them on the CCTV. Then they start encountering various cheap looking monsters including a giant spider, all VOICE ACTED by the great names on the covers..  yeah just some voices… and the dialogue feels like it’s been written by a 3 year old on meth, na that would be funny, this cheap and doesn’t engage the viewer in anyway… How did this actors put themselves through this?

“Great idea ruined by cheap comedy and shitty”

I’ve no idea how the director Balázs Hatvani, managed to fuck up two of the scariest horror features ever, just stick a psychotic clown in an abandoned park and you don’t even have to TRY to make it scary, it just is! but the terrible acting and buff script and screenplay kinda ruined the atmosphere. I really have nothing good to say about this. I’m sorry I just can’t even go there!

AOFA01Rating 1/10

This will be enough for this flick, no review to come might just add it to a list of shit films or terrible clown films.

L : Selected Clown Films, Crap films of 2013, Selected Comedy Horror ,
5B: Tim Curry, Brad Dourif, Lance Henriksen, Sean Young
A: How to ruin a horror movie..
VS : Ginger Clown Vs Pennywise.

The Guest (2014)*

the guest

 

Director : Adam Wingard#
Writer: Simon Barrett
Starring: Dan Stevens, Sheila Kelley, Maika Monroe.USA. 1h 40m

It’s not often that a modern action movie, moves me this much, but I think a lot of it’s down the the oddball attitude of the crazy director Adam Wingard who’s thrilled me with segments in V/H/S (2012) and You’re Next (2013) and the electro goth/dark wave/carpenter inspired soundtrack literally blew me away. Continue reading The Guest (2014)*

The Gallows (2015)

 

The Gallows

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Despite being a fan of the found footage genre, every now and again something really lets the scene down and this film is so fucking boring and predictable, I really don’t know how it was released in the first place.

*sigh*

There are rumors going around some random high school about a student who died during a , performance now that the “cursed” okay is going to be acted again, so a group of teens plan to break into the school after hours to sabotage the play,  if you can’t already imagine what’s going to happen, get off my blog. Overall it’s a great premise for a horror movie and if executed well, this could have scared the pants off of any hardcore fan, but, Chris Lofing and Travis Cluff’s found footage horror The Gallows is a serious cheese-fest with a terribly thin plot and  annoying characters.

Queue every predictable found footage cliche, snotty noses crying into the camera, shaky cams that miss all the paranormal activity, bad sound, low battery warnings, on top of this every jump scare is hugely signposted a mile off with the addition of flashing lights and also in braille for those who might have missed it. The acting is terrible, the camera work is lame and there is no point to this film.

Everything about the Gallows is lame, I have nothing good to say about it. It’s just a visual shambles that has no idea what it’s trying to be, the trailer is rather good though..

There are so many factors that just don’t gel right, the teens are annoying and spend far too much time just screaming and running, they are probably angry that there characters are as  deep as cat scratch. The camera hangs around for ages before the ghoul appears, almost like the director is waiting for someone to turn up on the set.. I am struggling to to find any good points and I hate running a movie into the ground but I have justification here, the ending was a total relief.

There was no substance to the “bad guy” nothing recognisable about him in any way, just a hangman and not much else, this stuff shirt could have been the next Freddy if any time was spent on developing him There are a couple of scenes where some interesting special effects were  to show an invisible hangman at work utilized but to be honest there was a lot more creepy action in the Taiwanese flick The Heirloom  (2005).  I really don’t like advising people if they should watch or avoid a movie but I really do wish that someone had warned me about this as it’s time I’ll never get back.

Rating 1/10

RBlair Witch Project (1999),  Exists (2014), Heirloom (2005),
L – Selected Found Footage Movies, School FIlms, Haunted Horrors, Worse films ever
A – What really ruins a found footage movie?
Vs  – Gallows Vs The Heirloom