Ouija Shark (2020)

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Director: Brett Kelly
Starring: Leslie Cserepy, Steph Goodwin, Kylie Gough, Robin Hodge, Satci Marie Lattery. USA. 1h 21m

Well I knew that Sharknado (2013) was going to open the flood gates of bizarre cheesy horrors but I couldn’t have predicted this one! A home grown horror from Brett Kelly with a long history of off key horrors including, Iron Soldier (2010) who isn’t Iron Man, Avenging Force (2010) who aren’t the Avengers at all, Pirates Quest for Snake Land (2009) *cough*and Spyfall (2014), you get the idea right? This instalment of fear follows a girl who finds a Ouija board while out swimming in the sea (or a lake) and throwing all caution to the wind she uses the board with her friends an act which unleashes a vicious shark spirit.

Blood (1973)

Director: Andy Milligan
Starring: Allan Berendt, Hope Stansbury, Patricia Gaul, Michael Fischetti . USA. 1h 9m

This bloodfest has everything in it, monsters, romance, carnivorous plants, a host of deformed servants, affairs, crooked solicitors and a batshit crazy old woman, and all in just over an hour, Andy Milligan really knew how to make a thrilling movie on no budget but with a bucket of originality and a touch of lowbrow comedy.

A stuffy estate agent takes a doctor to view a new property, there he attempts to make his excuses about the state of the property and show the man around but before he can lay on the bullshit he’s given a hefty cheque and forced out the house with reasoning not to return, the second his foot is out the door screaming shrouded figure is rushed in the back door by two crippled servants and a crazy freakish woman. The ghoulish melting corpse they uncover is one of the more gross scenes in the movie and it’s legendary that it’s done so early in the production, it turns out this vile thing is really the beautiful wife of Doctor Orlovsky, a brilliant scientist who’s returned home to claim his family fortune to further fund his experiments.