Another crazy night but I didn’t have to babysit my sister and got down to some hardcore painting so I didn’t watch anything new but I had to watch a particular movie again, as there was a puzzling element to it but I think I’ve cracked it now, but I won’t reveal that spoiler until the Post Discussion and that will come after the full review.. but for now here’s a mini insight into my second viewing of…
Let Me Make you a Martyr (2016)
Continue reading Last Nights Movies 02.08.2017
Totally one of those nights where I got totally bummed out from the first movie that I had to make up the rest of the night by watching some awesome movies to make up for it.. So low and behold the shitness that is….
*The Bigfoot Project (2017) –I adore bigfoot movies, books, documentaries and even those creepy videos on YouTube, so seeking this mockery was a huge disappointment. But I just about managed to sit through it…A group of amateur filmmakers embark on a tour of some backwoods in Georgia (even though it was filmed in California) in search of Bigfoot. Everything that could go wrong does, and the lame collegehumor requires more than a couple of blunts in order to really be appreciated. It’s hard to distinguish the difference between a tree and actor for most of the film and there is a long enough pause after each “gag” in order to the audience to process the joke. It’s filmed as mockumentary, and it feels largely ad libbed, the improv is often ballsed up but the camera work is on point. I was so exhausted by the end of the film I can’t even remember if they found proof of Bigfoot or Bigfeet existence, and I won’t be re watching to find out.
Lone Wolf and Cub – Episode 3 and 4 (1972) – My mother is a huge fan of Asian Cinema, and one of the films I was restricted from until I was about 9… was the legendary Shogun Assassin, she thought it was a bit too much for me as she managed to wrangle an amazing (nearly) uncut version, I fell in love with the film from the first viewing but the film seemed a bit odd, after some research I found out that there are many more movies. We both instantly fell in love with ALL the films and it’s become a bit of a family tradition to watch them all around the Christmas Holiday season. Although after years of watching 1-2 I rarely watch them now, I usually start with the 3rd movie and carry on which was going to be the attempt tonight to try and erase the Bigfoot Tragedy from my mind.
Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart to Hades – this should have been titled Baby Cart in a Brothel.. They don’t actually enter a brothel but they do have to save a girl who’s being sold into the business. Along with a massive battle against Ninja’s these two amazing gents really know how to show a girl a good time. The amount of killings in each film is probably on the verge of a world record, Shogun Assassin I think still has the No.1 spot for the most kills in a movie.I know Ogami Itto has the most kills for his character as the lone wolf and no one better try and take that from him.. Goddam I love Samurai’s.
Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart in Peril – This episode is one of my favourites as there is a grown ass man who is afraid of a little boy, like petrified of a small kid with a stick. There is also a female assassin with tattoos on her boobs to distract people, she reminds me of me… But still it’s a detailed and brutal journey for the peaceful family as they have to fight for their survival yet again and against a new foe from the past. There is so much honour and love in these movies, but what sets this one apart is that the cub starts to really come into this own and shows signs of taking on the Samurai code himself.
Barbarella (1968) – Oh how I have always adored this adventure. so much of it stuck in my mind when I first watched it as a child and it was one of the first shirts I brought from Rabbit In Red, based on a psychedelic comic series and made in an era where boundaries were still being pushed, he essence of Barbarella was captured in a vibrant way but each character remains amazingly district. The sexy situations and innuendos are full on but not overpowering and it’s just so much fun to watch.
It’s certainly had a big influence on the fashion and music industry, the band Duran Duran got it’s name from one of the characters, and many designers have said it was an influence for other movie costumes. It’s certainly influenced me, anyone who’s met me will get bored of me imitating the Great Tyrant, not only from the “pretty pretty” talk but forging my own city of sin and pleasure..
The lose gist of the film is that Barbarella is on the hunt for Dr Duran Duran who has a weapon that could destroy the universe and she needs to stop him, after befriending an Angelic creature and demonstrating her amazing bedside manner she travels throughout space looking mighty fine until she meets her arch rival The Great Tyrant 9/10
Lighthouse (1999) – This was one of my purchase discs from Choices! man I’m showing my age. It’s a low budget UK production but it tells a pretty awesome story of a prison ship on it’s way to an remote island but it runs aground and the mix of prisoners and guards have to stick together to avoid a potential serial killer. There are some crazy tense scenes, bad decisions and a crazy stalker with a mystical quality about him. One of the earliest films I ever saw James Purefoy in and a strange appearance from Don Warrington.
It has Simon Hunter’s signature style to it, if you think you’re unfamiliar with his work, then I’ll give you a clue, he did Mutant Chronicles! so expect a strong lead male, with a achilles heel, a misty landscape and strange shots from odd angles, hopefully this will carry on with his new film that’s been announced Last Blood, based on a webcomic with the same name, where the last few human survivors are protected by vampires from the hoards of a zombie apocalypse! 5/10
Director:Michael J Suma.
Starring.David Cade, Gine Holden, Christopher Judge USA. 1h 20m.
Somehow this film was advertised as having a score of 92% on Rotten Tomatoes, the audience score is 36% and that’s fucking generous. This tea time thriller is less thrill and more yawn. Continue reading LA Apocalypse / Doomed Planet (2014)
Director:David .F Sandberg .
Starring: Teresa Palmer, Gabriel Bateman, Alexander DiPersia, Billy Burke, Maria Bello . USA. 1h 21m.
Back in 2015 David Sandberg frightened a lot of people with his short film entitled Lights Out, despite it being only a few minutes long it really did hit a nerve with a lot of people including me. Now the story has been refined and more details lead to more scares, it’s a great attempt to make something from a short film and provides a decent horror film but it is lacking a few details. Continue reading Lights Out (2016)
Director: Luigi Cozzi.
Starring: George Hamilton, Antoine Saint-John. Italy. 1h 28m.
This nifty little Giallo film is actually quite intriguing if not totally underpowered. A juggalo boyfriend, Giorgio(Hamilton) is about to be cut off from his stunning rich girlfriend and her fortune after she’s had enough of his player ass, so he storms out and witnesses a man dumping a woman’s body into the river…instead of calling the police he confronts the man, invites him out, get his prints on his lighter and blackmails him into killing his girl, a similar setup is manufactured in Strangers on a Train (1951), but starts spinning his own web of deceit by claiming that she has been kidnapped and asks her father to pay up a million for her, which is about the figure the two haphazard dial a crooks got in Fargo (1996), the local police aren’t ready to buy that bullshit so keep on digging, the only minor problem is that the killer has lost the body, a couple of hipster kids managed to steal his car with the body in the trunk so the killer (who is only known as “the killer throughout the film) must chases them down and must kill and kill again until he can put things to rights… Continue reading L’assassino e costretto ad uccidere ancora/The Killer Must Kill Again (1975)
Director: Robert Carlyle
Writers: Richard Cowan+
Starring: Emma Thompson, Robert Carlyle, James Cosmo, Ray Winstone, UK/Scotland. 1h 36m
I was totally misled by the adverts here, mind you they were far and few between but being a Scottish movie I should have known better than to trust the pleasant view that was presented. How often have the Scots just swung from left field and planted a big fat dirty fist in the face of cinema. Train spotting got us twice, not only being an amazing phonetically Gaelic masterpiece it also blew away cinema and OST records with a unique rawness that has never been challenged on that particular scale and really rocketed the careers of Ewan McGregor and the star of this brave film, Robert Carlyle. Continue reading The Legend of Barney Thompson (2015)
Director: Rene Naufahu.
Starring: Calvin Tuteao, Beulah Koale, Joseph Naufahu, Xavier Horan . New Zealand. 1h 51m.
Riding off the success of a movie made over 22 years ago, The Last Saint promises to be as bold and impressive but it doesn’t explode in the same way and could easily be mistaken as a whimper. Continue reading The Last Saint (2014)
Director: Kantorn Chantorn
Starring Vorasit Tatrivijid, Thitika Phongcharndech. Thailand?. 2m 53s
I initially found this while reviewing Hi and The Passenger and should have made it a triple bill then but failed to do so. It’s quite funny watching a horror movie on youtube that is a guy watching a movie on youtube. Basically man along at home watching TV and laughing along, hears a woman laugh with him, but he’s home alone. It’s a little creepy but it made less so buy the really loud and constant atmospheric music, cut that down and allow the laugh to actually be scary and it might be more effective. 4/10 Continue reading 3 Horror Shorts, Laugh, Grin and Vienna waits for you
Starring:Bill Pullman, Bridget Fonda, Oliver Platt, Brendan Gleeson, Betty White . USA. 1h 22m.
Sometimes you just need to abandon all hope and sense and let your hair down for a film to entertain you, and Lake Placid is one of those movies. It’s a thriller, a bit of a horror but it’s so cheesy it’s funny but it’s playful adventurous side is kept in balance. Directed by Steve Miner and scripted by the asshole who brought us Ally McBeal!?(like seriously). A group of ace scientists and police are on the hunt for a massive crocodile lurking in a picturesque Maine lake, but as it’s chewing up innocent folk it needs to be captured and possibly studied or made an attraction of. Continue reading Lake Placid (1999)