Last Night’s Movies 02.06.2014

It was a long night, I think I started as early as possible and worked/watched late into the night.

Cats eye (1985) 6/10

*A Day of Violence (2010) 4/10

*Captain America – the First Avenger (2011) 7/10

*The LEGO movie (2014) 7/10

 

Cats eye (1985) A classic anthology from the master of horror anthologies, Mr Stephen king, I salute you.. This isn’t in the same vein as the Creepshow (1982) collections, there is still a fair amount “horror” but it centres more around morals and people who are a$$holes. The three segments are connected by one very lucky stray cat, first he is used as s test subject to demonstrate the electrifying techniques James Woods has unwittingly signed his wife up for to ensure his good behaviour while he tries to quit smoking. Then the puddy tat is tempted across a busy road by a wealthy and psychotic gambler who is hell bent on revenge and NEVER looses a bet. Finally destiny takes over and he is drawn towards Drew Barrymore and a very small folk law assassin. It was good to see after a number of years it’s still funny, it’s still enjoyable I would wager that if you’re a fan of Creepshow (1982) then you might appreciate this also. 6/10

 

*A Day of Violence (2010) This was hard to watch. Not because of the violence or difficult situations, in fact that was the easy bit (by the  way if anyone wants to suggest something more graphically violent please message me) But the acting was so damned terrible. People forgetting lines and looking stumped. The dialogue was fake tough guy, over pronounced words and breaks in all the wrong places. Just terrible, but the effects were ok, not ground-breaking, but pretty good for the budget, I did like the story, a faux east London gangster who takes a wrong turn which escalates into a huge pile of schit. There is a bit of p3nis snipping, shotgun liposuction, throat cutting antics. One thing that randomly made me giggle is that in cheaper budget movies the people are actually driving cars and therefore they are looking for traffic and road signs and the dialogue will be split and paused rather than the epically long deep spiels you get from Hollywood.. and I like that.   4/10

*Captain America – the First Avenger (2011) I’m slowly getting there, I only have Thor to watch then I can watch the Avengers!! YAY I missed this movie because I was never a fan of Captain America, in fact I remember buying more Captain Britain Books in the past So Captain America starts out a  weedy guy who’s refused access into the army, then by random chance he gets pulled into a science experiment and become a super hero.. He’s still the same guy he just manages to grow about 2 foot taller and fits in about 2 years of weight lifting in a few seconds. I guess size and strength does matter.. *sniff* sorry weaklings! On the whole it was a pretty okay superhero movie, not my favourite as the bad guy just reminded me of something form lazy town, I felt that they could have gone to town on his look and make him more creepy.. but meh… I think I can now finally watch the Avengers… oh wait no.. I still have Thor (2011) to go..   7/10

*The LEGO movie (2014) – I have no idea why I watched this.. It’s fun and entertaining I suppose. Batman was brilliant.. The astronaut was brilliant after he got to make his spaceship. It’s all healthy family fun though.. meh.  I’m giving it 7 out of 10, even though it’s not my personal cup of tea it’s a clever and well made movie, sadly I can’t deny that. I might get drunk and watch it again at Christmas or something lol Hopefully I’ll remember the Everything is Awesome song.. 7/10

LAST NIGHTS MOVIES 21-05-13

CYBORG
(Action, Sci Fi 1989) (18) D : Albert Pyun W : Kitty Chalmers S : JCVD 1h 26m USA.

A Martial artist hunts a killer in a plague-infested urban dump of the future.

Holy fuck JVCD to the rescue all of man kind.

We’re screwed if we had to depend on him now; the only people who can rely on him are the canines of the world.

I really liked this movie, it’s not the most complex or involved movie of all time but it has it’s charms. You soon learn that some brutish thug and his gang murdered JCVD family which forces the splits champion into a revenge road trip across America. Nothing new about that, chuck in a dying world and a skin job (yes a reference to Blade Runner (1982)) and we have many excuses to kung fu everyone to death! There is a little side story going along with it involving a cure to save the worlds population but that’s the general idea. If you don’t mind a bit of dated futuristic ass kicking then this should please, you’ll need to look past the bad hair and retro Mad max (1979) clothes to see the beauty of the movie. Hold on… No need, this is Mad max! Its just on the disgarded set of Masters of the universe II…

OK it’s not the best movie ever, it’s not aged as well as other older sci fi movies but then it wasn’t the biggest budget movie ever but its one that I am fond of from my childhood.

As much as I hate wanky guitar solos that go on too long I also really hate the battered hero finding amazing strength to beat the bad guy only because good must conquer bad.. but the final fight scene is pretty epic in the rain and all the slow mo repeated shots you can wish for..

Q: “I like this world”. R: The Quick and the Dead (1995), Android (1982), Mad max (1979)

6/10

EX DRUMMER (Crime, Drama, Surreal, Comedy, Music 2007) (18) D: Koen Mortier W: Herman Brusselmans 1h 41m. BEL

Three handicapped losers who form a band ask famous writer Dries to be their drummer. He joins the band and starts manipulating them.

Wowies! I have been trying to get hold of this movie for some time. Any film with a dude standing on the celling on the cover is bound to be “up my street”. The movie is beautifully surreal, stark, gritty and pretty much plays like the most disgusting scenes from Trainspotting (1996) mixed with the best of any local drunken battle of the bands night. It’s got a paramount assortment of anal rape, vomiting, parent beating, comedy, drug abuse, murder, violence, talking corpses and music any modern movie can give.

The movie starts with the outsider; Dries, explaining the story. He stands out from all the others, he’s not handicapped, he doesn’t play any instruments and even thought he’s not all there it’s not on the same level of depravity as the others, his house is clean, his girlfriend is err.. mostly normal and everything surrounding him is pretty clean and organised.

The rest of the cast are generic fuck ups, all with several physical and mental disorders. As the movie progresses things spiral further out of control and into the darker pits of the disabilities and paranoia, sadly I never quite work out why the lead guitarist/singer lives upside down, it’s cute seeing him wander around brushing is teeth and coughing up blood while walking around on the ceiling but it all adds to the oddball nature of the entire movie.. I mean why not!? Fuck it!? He’s obviously happy up there.

The movie doesn’t claim to be pushing any boundaries, it will be shocking to some, funny and exciting to others. If you’re happy looking at life from an alternative scumbag point of view then it will interest you as much as any other lowlife point of view movie. Sadly if you think that there should be some “high” standard of living then this will disgust you to no end.

Q : “ I hear you can’t drum” OST : Mogwai –Hunted By a Freak, Millionare –Mongoloid. R : Trainspotting (1996) Spun (2002) Pusher (1996)

7/10

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