Tag Archives: list

March 2017 FIlm List

Creepshow
Batman
The Quick and the Dead
Jar City
Catacombs
Ninja Terminator
Black Sheep
Traders
Predator
Glimmer man
The freaks Continue reading March 2017 FIlm List

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January 2017 Film List

alan-poza

A bit of a lame start to the year but I had quite a few operations and medical check ups so I had a bit of downtime but sadly spend most of that sleeping 😦

*Alan Poza 2/10 N
*Where I Belong 5/10 N
HoneymoonThe Honeymoon
The Perfect Getaway
Black Cat White Cat
The Gift
Antiviral
Lucky
Life is a Miracle
Cradle of fear
*Vanity 6/10 N
Angel Heart
*Baby Oku In America 6/10 N
Hukkle
Excalibur
Silence of the lambs
*Deserie 6/10 N
*The Family Affair 7/10N
Das Experiment
Godfather
Akira
Eyes without a face
Girl with the pearl earring
*Corporate mechanic 6/10 N
*Twitter Babes 6/10 N
*Revolting Rhymes 8/10
The Punisher
30 Days of Night
Green Inferno
*Instant Justice  6/10N
Towering Inferno
Mad Max
The Collection
*The Facility
*Night Caller from Outer Space
From the Dark
Red Dragon
blue-ruin-iv*Blue Ruin 8/10
Vanishing Point
*30,000 leagues under the sea 1/10
Legend
*Doghouse 2/10
Passenger 57
The Omen
*Wer 7/10
Underworld awakening
The Devil’s Rejects
Paranormal Activity
*Terminal Invasion TV
Ninja Scroll
Wer
Borderlands
*The Judgement 6/10 N
*End of Vanity 6/10 N
Robocop
388-arletta-way388 Arletta Ave
Uncanny
Ghosts of Mars
Hellboy 2
The Tears of Cassandra N
Crying Game
Jaws
Escape from LA
The Hills Have Eyes
* Promiscuous 3/10
* Bond of Bondage 5/10 N
*The Bloodstained Butterfly 7/10
Dredd
Payback
The Hobbit (2)
Grizzly
*Screams on a dark Winters Night 5/10
Fellowship of the Ring
* I hate everything about you N 6/10
Cockneys Vs Zombies
Young Guns 2
*Black cat 7\10
Hunger

Continue reading January 2017 Film List

DJ’s on the big screen…

After watching Vanishing Point (1971) I was amazed by the connection between Kowalski and Super Soul (Cleavon Little) a resident DJ fighting to support and inform the lone driver, I remembered that I had started a list and now it needed to be completed.

warriorsdj01.The DJ (Lynne Thigpen) The Warriors (1979)

Possibly the most iconic DJ in cinema history and all we ever saw of her for the entire movie was her mouth. Her golden tones over the radio played out as a narrative of the hellish night that the street gang called the Warriors we’re having after being framed for taking out a rival gang leader. It quite insane how her character comes across when we barely see anything of her but it’s a vital role which really brings the movie together and keeps the fast pace up. It looks particularly amazing in the director’s cut as it splices the “comic” chapters together well.

zombi3blueheart02.Blue Heart (???) Zombi 3 (1979)

I’m hoping I can find the details of this chap before I publish but so far NO clues on who the actor is who played this amazing happy Dj who becomes the only Zombie DJ in cinema history.. (if you know of any others please inform me). BlueHeart is a happy carefree hippy who promotes love with his music, but after an outbreak of “Death One” his beloved island becomes a nightmare in paradise as the locals are becoming mindless zombies and being slaughtered by the military. His messages of peace and love soon become a dark signal of safe havens, hospitals and military advice, and eventually his final message is a warning from the dead themselves.

pontypool403.Grant Mazzy (Stephen McHattie) Pontypool (2008)

This unusual infection movie revolves around the fearless and quirky Grant Mazzy who arrives to do his shift at a local radio station just as his town begins to go crazy and acting like mindless cannibals. After barricading himself and staff into the station they attempt to keep people informed as they piece together the cause of his mass hysteria. Great movie with a superb actor taking the reins and delivered a realistic role.

hardware04.Angry Bob (Iggy Pop) Hardware (1990)

A long all time favorite movie on mine (got a tribute tattooed on my leg) and filled with some of the UK’s best musicians, including Lemmy (RIP) and Carl MacCoy playing his own brand of psychonaut and Iggy Pop makes a guest appearance as Angry Bob who gives random updates about the apocalyptic shitty weather, radiation count and to inform us that there is NO FUCKING GOOD NEWS!! Unlike the rest of the movies this DJ is just a voice over the airways but his updates do provide a host of interesting background information.

vanishing-point-super-soul05.Super Soul (Cleavon Little) Vanishing Point (1971)

The enigmatic person what prompted me to finish off this list, Vanishing Point is about a speed racer out for some kicks transporting a car to a new owner and surviving on a cocktail of uppers he doesn’t sleep and doesn’t lift his foot from the pedal. While ploughing through police barricades and racing brave challengers, he has an unspoken one way communication/bond with Super Soul, a blind DJ played by the late Litt, he helps guide and warn Kowalski about upcoming dangers and tries to guide him to safety and even takes a brutal police beating in the process.

It’s brilliant how DJ’s are often portrayed on the big screen, obviously through the ages styles and music, formatting of shows have changed the game but the players are very much the same. I do love the connection between Vanishing Point’s SuperSoul and BlueHeart from Zombie.

5 Selected – Wes Craven Movies RIP

There have been a lot of RIP lists I’ve missed due to a lack of time in updating but I couldn’t let ANOTHER one go by without making an attempt to put something together. Hopefully this will spur me on to finish the other lists.

So the powers that be have decided to take one that shined so bright and left us with a few bottom feeders who we could so easily do without.  Wesley Earl Craven passed away from Brain Cancer last Sunday,  30th August 2015 aged only 76.

I’ve really loved a lot of Cravens early works, I have a soft spot for 70’s horror and thrillers and I adore his early works a lot more than the recent films, I dunno why, maybe in 30 years I’ll grow to love those as well!? I think he took a lot more risks back in the day but it was easier to shock and disgust and he was probably high as a kite too as apparently everyone was.

Anyway I’ll write an amazing piece in honour of a great director and  man one day, in the meantime here are 5 Selected Craven movies. In no particular order…

01.Last House on the Left (1972)

last house on the left

Banned and still famed for one of the most “memorable” and upsetting rape scenes ever, Wes certainly meant business when he started making films. With a few added elements of lowbrow comedy and a lot of lurid and disgusting behaviour, the amazing David Hess and his rebellious entourage rape and kill a young girl then stumble upon her parents’ house. The parents soon realise what’s happened and revenge is a dish best served with a lot of pain. The film undoubtedly considered dated now by many, it yielded a lot of good things, inspiring such horrors as Night Train Murders (1975) and a not so bad remake in 2009.

02.A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

nightmare on elm street

One of my all-time favourite horror films since a very young age. I was too young to have watched this video nasty but I did and I loved it and I thought Freddy was amazingly funny, I think he’s a little cheesy now but he’s still my favourite slasher. It seems silly trying to explain the story I’m sure everyone knows!?!? Freddy the local kiddy toucher gets burnt in a school furnace and then comes back to haunt teens in their dreams!? Pretty simple but the mechanics of making sleeping in the dark scary again worked for so many. It also gave us a brand new villain that we kinda love and cherish. Thank you Wes for giving us such a cool guy too fear and love!  Freddy inspired a lot of people and it’s hard NOT to see someone in a Freddy costume or with a glove at Halloween.

03.Swamp Thing (1982)

swamp thing

A slight side step into the world of comic book remakes and he picked my favourite ones Swamp Thing, often tied to a chemical experiment and then to Native American Culture is the best eco warrior around. The American Green Man from the swamps. I’m really fond this film,  it’s got the right blend of horror, comedy and action. David Hess returns as a military douchbag, working for the lithe and sinister Dr Anton Arcane (Louis Jourdan). Things just couldn’t get better, it’s not the most horrific movie, and the creature effects are poor but it’s a great comic adaptation that doesn’t fuck around with the storyline too much and keeps the Swamp thing essence in some respect.

04.Hills Have Eyes (1977)

the hills have eyes

Another wayward story that pull together our fears about the unknown effects of Radioactivity, being lost in unfamiliar territory and being stalked by a number of deranged psychos. Chuck in the devious mind of Craven and you’ve got another timeless horror masterpiece, and a pretty awesome remake in 2006. The story of a family lost in the desert and stalked by ruthless mutant rednecks will never be forgotten.  Again it’s not the most masterful for the effects but so many brilliant scenes and bizarre horrific scenes made this a cult classic video nasty. It kick started a lot of other films such as Wrong Turn (2003) and you could argue that it influences House of 1000 Corpses (2003).

05.The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988)

serpent and the rainbow

A lot of research and great writing went into this mystical horror, fusing voodoo and science. As Dennis Alan (Bill Pullman) researches the drugs used to turn people into zombies and uncovers another deadly mystery coming from the Haitian authorities and one man who sees his meddling as a threat. The dark occult traits combined with a deadly chase reminds  me Angel Heart but steeped in a more historic magic. It’s tense and actually quite scary when you find out how many real life stories and accounts are represented in this one startling film.

Honourable Mention:

The People Under the Stairs (1991)

the people under the stairs

I REALLY hate it when someone says they are going to do a list of 5 times then tack on about 70 other titles at the end.. but I am going to add one SINGLE item. This used to be one of my all-time favourites back when I was a kid (yes still too young to watch the film).  We’ve all heard of stories of kids being kept in crawl spaces but to see it happen and with the most bizarre and  dysfunctional couple at the helm is great, the urban legend comes alive with more than a few scares and frights.

March 2015 – Film watch list.

Third month is and starting to pick up the pace, it feels good to fight those demons and watch more new movies rather than re watching old ones ALL the time. finally starting to cut those apron strings, I just need more time to write reviews!

Bad timing

Pumping Iron
Company of Wolves
Paris Lockdown
Honeymoon *
Double Vision
The Ascent *
Outlander
Turks and Cacos *
Scintilla / Hybrid *
Pumping Iron
Grizzly – Red Machine *
Bad Milo!
The Taking of Deborah Logan *
Zed and Two Noughts *
The Thief *
Pompeii
Black Sea *
Naked Lunch
Leon
Edge of Tomorrow *
Saturn 3
Predators
Rasputin
There Will be Blood
Discopath *
Thief
Don’t go into the House *
Valhalla Rising
Vice *
Moon 44
To Sir With Love *
Dirty Harry
House of Last Things *
Retreat *
The One that got away
Pyramid *
Saw V
Silent Retreat *
Krampus the Christmas Devil *
Thirteen Ghosts
Not all There *
Serbian Film
Mongol
A Perfect Storm
36
Blood Glacier
Last of the Mohicans
Tangerines – Mandariindi *
Young and Dangerous *
Black Moon Rising
Duel
The Jackal *
Dod Sno 2 – Dead Snow 2 *
Sleep Tight *
Duel
Kung Fu Killer *
Cyber Tracker *
First Blood
Vlad Tepes *
Awaydays
Under Siege
Hot Rod
Vengeance *
Under Siege
Spirited Away
Apcoalypto
Hannibal Rising
Bad Timing *
Poltergeist
Hatchet
Hack
Human Centipede
Day Breaker
Human Centipede
Chemical peel
Interstella *
Backwoods
Outland
Inside Llewyn Davis *

Total 89

New 31

Best New Inside Llewyn Davis

Worst New Cyber Tracker

Highlights

Tangerines picking

  • Tangerines – Mandariindi
  • Thief
  • The Ascent
  • Sleep Tight
  • Not all there

5 Selected – Tom Towels

Sadly the charismatic Tom Towels past away on 2nd April. I thought it was a terrible late April Fools Day joke. But sadly the great actor who perfected the art of being a scumbag is no longer with us. Here are my 5 selected Tom Towels movies.

wpid-tom-towles-fortress.png

01.Fortress (1992) – Director Stuart Gordon needed a few prized assholes to play tough bullies in this futuristic prison flick, one role went to the chiseled Vernon Wells, and his trusty obnoxious side kick is the giggling Tom Towels. He knows how to be a prick although is eventually recruited onto to the good guys team after the untimely death of his partner and still remains to be a prick! A memorable part for Tom and a great sci fi flick. 7/10

wpid-henry_portrait_of_a_serial_killer_tom_towles_and_m11.jpg

02.Henry  : portrait of a serial killer (1986) – In this role Tom gets to play the role of Ottis Toole the infamous serial killer, to be honest the characters seem a little loose compared to the footage and confessions of the real killers but that was intended, still there is a lot of non direct video nasty as the killings of his room mate; Henry and recounted. Tom plays a retarded giggling redneck pervert with a taste for death, a perfect role for him. 7/10

wpid-tumblr_nmcxdhxouj1thr7ppo1_500.jpg

03.Night of the Living Dead  (1990) – Captain scumbag is back for round three, in this guise Tom plays, a useless husband, shit dad and total twat who endangers everyone around him during a zombie outbreak. If anyone was going to write a book of what NOT to do when the undead start swarming they could get some inspiration here. This was the first time I had seen Tom with hair.. I was scared and didn’t believe it was him. 7/10

wpid-tom-towles.jpg

04.House of 1000 corpses (2003) – Finally a role with Tom who plays a slightly less abrasive character, as officer Wydell who is a fair, but harsh cop who has to investigate the disappearance of some teens out in buttfuckland. With another regular baldie Sig Haig as the infamous Captain Spalding, the two have one classic shiny clash before Tom gets his ego massages by Madame Firefly (Karen Black). 10/10

wpid-248531_full.jpg

05.The Borrower (1991) – This is a candid addition. Its hard to find a movie where Tom has a huge part, hes not also king of the douchebags he’s king of the bit parts. This film is one of the better off the wall 80’s sci fi horror comedies (were there many??) Tom is one of the faces of an alien who has been de-evolved and placed on earth as his punishment, the only problem is that randomly his head explodes and he needs to replace it. Tom is one of these guises.. and he’s so super cool as a rat eating alien scumbag! 6/10

You can find full details and more info in the links below.

Wiki page – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Towles

IMDB page – http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0869981/

 

 

February 2015 Film watch list

Only the second month of the year in and totaled up another 70+ movies, not doing too bad considering it’s a short month.

Hurt locker 8/10
Ivanhoe *
30 Days of Night
Gonin
Splice
UFC 183
Splice
Grimm Love
The True Story of Dracula – Dark Prince *
The Fountain *
Open Water 2 *
Hawk the Slayer
Wrecked
Wolfman
Tale of Tales
Wolfman
Sleepers
Chemical Peel
Millers Crossing
Bothersome Man – Den Brysomme Mannen
Riot Club *
Mr Jones *
Where Eagles Dare
Kill the Messenger *
Huff – Big Bad Wolf *
Troll Hunter
Inseminoid *
Dark Angel
13th Warrior
World Made Straight *
Sleepers
Dark Angel
Munich
Hangar 10 *
The Godfather
The Fighter
Silence of the Lambs
Diverted *
Sick Survive the Night *
Road North – The Pohjoiseen *
Valhalla rising
American Heist *
Man Bites Dog
Banshee Chapter *
Convict *
Rush
Howling IV
Valhalla Rising
UFC 187
Animal *
Full Metal Jacket
Toxic Avenger II *
La Tarantola Dal Ventre Nero – Black Belly of the Tarantula *
Atticus Institute *
Fortress
Prey
Starwdogs *
Rampage
Death and Cremation *
Age of Uprising *
Call of Cthulhu *
A Single Shot
The Machine *
Across the River *
Before Night Falls *
Blade Master *
Primer
Kill Your Darlings *
Full Metal Jousting 2/3
UFC 184
Conan the Barbarian
Manhunter
Blade Master
Foxcatcher *
GI Joe the Movie
The Right Stuff
Séance the Summoning *

Total 78

New 32

Best New Before Night Falls

Worst New Huff – Big Bad Wolf

Highlights

  • Riot Club
  • Foxcatcher
  • Manhunter
  • The Machine
  • Kill Your Darlings
  • Across the River
  • Banshee Chapter
  • Atticus Institue

Selected dysfunctional family movies

We all have that one person who ruins family celebration,  a black sheep of the family, an uncle you don’t leave alone with the children and maybe a grandma who bakes swastika cookies. What would happen if everyone in one family were all kooky and we’re not talking about the Addams Family. Here is a selected few dysfunctional families.

 

mum-and-dad-movie-poster

01.Mum & Dad (2008)

This was recommended by a friend many moons ago, it’s a curious movie, starting out with a cleaner at the airport who goes to her friend’s house after work, only to get kidnapped by the “parents” and is forced to become part of the family as a new obedient daughter. This film is hidden British treasure, there are some gut wrenching scenes and some very questionable actions from loving parents. What is the meaty thing the father is romancing when the girl is sent to him to be punished? Pulling some aspects from People under the stairs but with a lot more torture and guts. 6/10

5150

02.5150 Elms Way- 5150 Rue De Ormes (2009)

One of my newer favourites in dysfunctional family horrors, an unsuspecting student is abducting by a family and held captive, he becomes obsessed with the father figure who finds him a suitable son and a callous hate/admiration battle commences both physically, mentally and via a series of chess matches, while trying to equal his new father figure, pander to the possible kindness of his wife and avoid the violent beat downs of his new-found sister who’s trying to impress psycho dad, It’s gritty, nightmarish and violent and well worth a watch.  8/10

people under the stairs

03. People under the stairs (1991)

A mother’s search for the perfect child and a supportive gimp partner they manage to abduct and amass a collection of “people under the stairs” It’s a dark comedy horror, but delivers some claustrophobic scares. The couple themselves are deep in a fetish relationship but really need some parenting 101. After the family home is infiltrated by Fool (Brandon Adams) things get weird while he crawls through crawl spaces and uncovers the families many secrets in the basement. It’s one of the better early 90’s horrors playing on some of the urban myths about where bad children end up. 7/10

house-of-1000-corpses 04.House of 1000 corpses (2003)

I hate to call this family dysfunctional as I have often been described as being a part of their family namely Baby (Sheri Moon Zombie) not for my looks I will add, I think for my general knife addiction, painfully annoying laugh and well I like to play with dolls and cheerleaders. Rob Zombie’s infamous cult family of killers, perverts, hookers and people who like to get fucked up and do fucked up shit, have a blast on Halloween night when a group of unsuspecting teens find themselves stranded and needing help, what they get is not expected, and then things get strange… very strange, this film is a darkly comic, experimental gorefest and the best Rob Zombie film ever. 10/10

loved-3.505.The Loved Ones (2009)

Not so much a dysfunctional family but a doting father and psychotic daughter. While being the unpopular loner at school Lola AKA Princess (Robin McLeavy) asks out her crush Brent (Xavier Samuel) to the prom, this escalates into the bemused Brent being held captive at Princess’s home twisted homemade prom party. While daddy ensures that his lil princess gets everything she wants, no matter how perverse, or disturbing,  there are some brilliant torture scenes in this nightmarish and strange movie. 8/10

Kynodontas_-_Dogtooth_(2009)_Yorgos_Lanthimos

06.Dogtooth – Kynodontas (2009)

Epitome of black, surreal, nightmarish drama Dogtooth is as important for Greek cinema as Theodoros Angelopoulos’ 1970 film Reconstruction and is slightly based on Castle of Purity – El castillo de la pureza (1973) by  Arturo Ripstein. Both films tell a story of a family hidden away from society and who start to internalise and become surreal monuments to mankind. Without many external influences the family in Dogtooth seem to adopt very unusual behaviour, the father regularly hires a prostitute for his son, planes are thought to be paper aeroplanes, and language is tousled around. The parents, especially the father have a full understanding of the outside world and the agenda to keep the children locked away and why they are acting in such a way while at home is beyond me. but it’s beautiful to see everything unfold in a dream like state. a film filled with surreal situations, dark sexuality and questionable lifestyle choices….10/10

skinned-deep07.Skinned deep  (2004)

An indie off the wall comedy horror in a similar vein as Dear God No! (2011) starring Aaron Sims and Warwick Davis, a totally bizarre set of characters make up this fucking weird family, a friendly psychopath lemonade making moma, Warwick is a plate throwing dwarf menace, and Brains/Brian who has a very large brain that he tried to hide under a brown paper bag, Aaron Sims plays a surgeon general who is very similar to Dr Satans/ Dr Satans Snotty Henchmen in House of 1000 Corpses, with a headless bodybuilding father in the basement they manage to kidnap a girl for Brian to marry but for some reason after they kill her family and pull her from the crawl space she doesn’t want to marry him!? this is just the tip of the iceberg…. I adore it 8/10
visitorQ

08.Visitor Q – Bijitâ Q – (2001)

A perverted family are intruded on by a mysterious stranger who seems to find a balance with their disturbing nature’s. During his unique teachings and insights he adjusts all the family members and helps liberate them to find their true happiness, the film documents their strange taboos that includes incest, poo, necrophilia and a lot of body fluids, nothing can really prepare you for this crazy surreal ride that never let’s up. 9/10
woman poster

09.Woman (2011)

A family bound by it’s private perversions, Woman tells a story of a bizarre family unit secluded in a rural home, putting on a false and brave public face. Behind their happy american facade there is a multitude of sins, headed by a righteous and violent father, the women in the family are controlled by his fierce rebuttals and micro managed lifestyle. He discovers woman, last remaining member of a violent clan that has roamed the Northeast coast, and he attempts to civilize her in his warped ways. It’s gorey, messy, bizarre and a thrilling film from beginning to end, with a custom soundtrack made by Sean Spillane. Personally I can’t find a lot wrong with it. 9/10
downterrace

10.Down Terrace (2009)

I had to pick an item one of my favourite directors Ben Whealely and this one encompasses one of the most bizarre and deadly families in England. Detailing a crime families attempt to unmask a police informer among them, this crooked, violent, disturbing family, take out hits while having their tea. Filmed in an almost documentary style, Down Terrace unmasks the average British family as a set of experienced, brutal and heartless killers in a (black) comic, bleak and hard-hitting style. Not to be missed 10/10

Honorable mention

we need to talk about kevinWe need to talk about Kevin (2011)  

This is always mentioned in the disturbing movies category and rightly so. this is very disturbing, and while I had it on my list, it’s hard to add it to a dysfunctional family list as it really was just one person who basically destroys everything and everyone around him. But still it needs to be mentioned here. The strange psychopath child Kevin, is basically the antichrist (not actually him but.. well you know how people say that children can embody pure evil.. this kid does) from his early childhood he learns to manipulate people and is just beyond bizarre and disturbed. As he matures so does his need to be a very bad boy, with his grand finale shocking his entire community. It’s gross and seen from the viewpoint mostly of his mother (Tilda Swinton) who despite being on the rough end of Kevin’s outbursts and who takes the flack from the surrounding community, she does try to lover her son. It’s hard to prepare anyone for watching this but it’s worth it, if you can stomach it. 9/10

5 Selected – James Caan

I’ve always appreciated the hair Bronx beast’s film presence over the years, despite him being one of the few actors who seem a little too relaxed playing the bad guy. He really does have that edge of bigot but I’ve never witnessed any faults in his acting so it was hard to narrow things down to 5 selected performances out of the 120+ titles he’s worked on. So in no particular order… Continue reading 5 Selected – James Caan

Opening the Gates of Hell

I think there has been a fascination and fear for thousands of years of this little place called Hell.. In most organised religions there is an underworld and generally it’s not the top holiday destination due to some less than 5 star accommodation and bad cuisine. Despite the warnings though, someone or something usually wants to swing those gates open wide and unleash horrid things on mankind.

Here’s a list of 10 films where the main purpose is to open the gates of hell, so in no particular order.


Event Horizon

01. Event Horizon (1997)

First up is literally the first film that popped into my head, now this one sticks with me for a few of the wrong reasons. Basically I had a lot of trouble seeing the end of this film (more details in the review) but basically a missing spaceship, designed to bend time/space goes missing but comes back with some disturbing secrets. I’ll try not to give away too much as i hope my lists help other people try and find new films to watch, but there is some Latin and some hellish flashbacks. The film could have a bigger dose of gore (although i hear there are “better”extended scenes in another version), it could have had a more in depth plot, which i feel it would have gotten if it was an indie film. For Hollywood it’s a good effort. 7/10

hellraiser cenobites02.Hellraiser (1997)

Clive Barkers first attempt to take back his stories and what a beautiful dreamscape of terror and pain he created. Unearthly  pleasures are promised to anyone who can solve the puzzle box, as with all legends of this nature there is always a price. The pleasures are delivered by angels from a hellish dimension where pain is seen as a delight. Fair enough this isn’t the hell the bibles of the world tell us about but it certainly does mimic the ideas we have of hell and a gateway is certainly there to be opened so this film easily makes it into my top 10, and I easily give it 9/10

legend03. Legend (1985)

Another slightly off key version of hell is on the cards here, it’s basically a family fantasy movie but a bit of a cult classic. Everyone refers to the big guy as the devil when in fact he’s Darkness and he is in servitude of the “father” but once you get past that, Darkness is trying to unleash something dark to blot out human happiness and the sun. So candidate for a hell opening here. Despite the light nature of the film, its filled with some dark fantasy elements and fairytale creatures, one of my favourites being Meg Mucklebones, portrayed perfectly by Richard Picardo. It has a heavy dose of folklore and great imagery that I have loved since I was a child and there for 8/10

i frankenstein
04.I Frankenstein (2014)

One of the better comic to movie translations, from the noted writer and actor Kevin Grevioux. I felt the film was a bit of a let down, it could have been longer rather than trying to cram an epic into a short flick, but instead it just turned into another Underworld. (its hard not to connect the two films) It still carries an interesting version of life after Frankenstein. Basically the monster lives on into modern day and becomes a pawn in fight between good and evil. I wont tell all but there is an interesting plot in using necromancy for demons to take over the world. Another good try but only receives 6/10.

9th gate05.Ninth Gate (1999)

This film is a total love hate affair for me. I love Polanski, but can’t stand Depp, I love Langella but can’t stand the lack of a decent OST, the list goes on tit for tat. Every time I find something I love about the film its twinned with something i really can’t bare, but overall I do enjoy watching it, I love books and mysteries about the devil but thought there could be a little extra in the end or even a follow on film. Still throughout the film there is a desperate need to connect with the devil and to rule in hell.7/10

spawn06.Spawn (1997)

I think this was a fun remake of the graphic novels/Comics, but really I enjoyed the animated series more. I think this film is on the cards for a remake and despite enjoying this version with three of my all time favourite actors I suppose it could do with some improvements. There are lots of hellish elements in this throughout the film. Topped off with mega power struggles over the earth by the realms of evi!! Bwahaaahaa…hell is depicted as a MTV program break, brief flashing colours and flames. The depictions are better in the next film in the list.6/10

Constantine07.Constantine (2005)

As promised a film with better hell scenes, John Constantine, or Hellblazer (comic) often visits hell to gain footing against the demons trying to take over the earth. A potential candidate for a semi decent remake, Constantine is a giant step in the right direction for bringing a comic to life, hell is an apocalyptic version of earth,  filled with swarms of demons, slow motion smoldering and a dreamlike ambiance between the ruined buildings. This film also has one of the best Satan performances from Peter Stormare. 7/10

TheBeyond (10)08.The Beyond (1981)

One the greatest zombie, occult, horrors EVER, I have the shirt to prove it. This film is packed full of a different horror aspects and it’s all leading up to the opening of the 7th gate of hell, situated beneath a haunted hotel. The previous occupier of room 36 was a warlock who was tortured and destroyed by the local residents who were afraid of his actions but he remains in the room and orchestrates the new owner into opening the gate to hell.There is a stunning painting and all the iconic makings of a retro nasty in this film, honestly it has it all, a well manufactured gem.10/10

Double Vision09.Double Vision (2002)

 When people start turning up dead due to mysterious and supernatural causes, the Thai police force entertain an FBI officer to join the force, bringing with him his years of FBI service and knowledge he teams up with a beat down Thai officer and despite the language barrier they manage to uncover the connection of the death to the Taoist levels of hell.6/10

Hellboy10.Hellboy (2004)

 A second comic book remake, this time reproduced by one of my favourite directors Del Toro and brought to life by the ever talented Perlman. Hellboy; whose real name and purpose is the unlock the prisons of old ones who are destined to rule this realm, pretty much a opening the gates of hell scenario but in a slightly more Lovecraft fashion, and for argument sake I could also chuck in other Lovecraft inspired films like From Beyond and The Mist too.. But I’ll leave that for another list.9/10

Also, I guess i have to mention…

Little NickyLittle Nicky (2000) a comedy so I was forced to watch it while babysitting my sister one day… It’s bearable I suppose. Nicky (Adam Sandler), one of the sons of Satan has to stop his brothers from opening up hell… Tarantino has a cameo as a priest, it’s a funny family thing but there are boobies, head boobies.. it was painful to watch, possibly my own personal hell.  3/10