January 2019 Film List

Death Bed – the bed that eats

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Taxidermia

Mon Oncle

The Omen

Screamers – the douchbags of fishmen island

Bodybags

Quatermass and the Pit

The Monster

18 Films From 1988 Still Worth Talking About Vol 1

They live (1988)

Everything about this movie is just absolutely awesome, John Carpenter has made his reputation as one of the best loved and prolifically imaginative horror directors of all time but with so much energy he branched further into the world of sci fi with the addition of tried and tested actor Keith David and the bombastic Roddy Piper in the lead of a very psychotropic cult classic. Loosely based on the short story “Eight O’clock in the Morning” by Ray Nelson, this film follows a drifter who stumbles on some glasses which reveal that the planet slowly being populated by technicolour aliens who hide behind a level of science based glamour, but through these amazing glasses Piper can see the truth and the world they have crafted is a George Orwell Nightmare, but never fear the Rowdy Canadian Wrestler is here to save us with some of the best one liners in any film and much ass kicking. It’s really one of those films that comes by only once in a blue moon, a perfect combination of imagination, cool effects, wonderful actors and a director who isn’t driven by his ego but by what he’s learnt that fans want to see and that’s a movie without bubble-gum.

10 Horrors from 2002 worth talking about

For me 2002 was the year of shitty american remakes of wonderful Japanese/Chinese/Korean Horrors, like The Eye  (2002) and the Ring (2002) but Japan was still releasing wonderful films like Ju On  (2002) and Dark Water  (2002).

28 Days Later (2002)

A film that really raised the bar for Zombie movies by introducing the Infected! A bicycle courier is blindsided and awakes weeks later in an abandoned london, he soon discovers that a rage virus was released causing people to go batshit crazy and infect/kill each other. He hooks up with a few other people who travel to Manchester in hopes of gaining the protection of an army base who have been broadcasting but salvation might not that simple. A sterling performance from everyone involved in this cult classic Danny Boyle film, shot on unconventional cameras and on a tight budget the film has an atmosphere unlike any of its counterparts. Bold acting and a thrilling dangerous story really boosted most of the cast into unreal terms of stardom and made the film a drooling gore filled cult classic with a perfectly haunting soundtrack. 10/10

13 Days of Hallowe’en Horror 2017

This year I’ve decided to do a shorter list of only 13 items  as we were (un)lucky enough to have Friday the 13th this October and I usually fail my 31 days of Horror for October 😦

lets see if 13 is my lucky number!?! I’ll keep updating this page over the next 13 days as I countdown a fairly random list of Halloween favourites with new reviews!!

My Favourite Found Footage To Date…

I’ve been asked many times to pen this and while I’m not one to shy away from a movie list no matter what the subject, I do find it hard to justify one of my favourite genres as it’s so wildly hated. So time for me to gleefully skip into the world of Found Footage.

My Favourite Found Footage To Date…

There are only a few found footage films that I dislike, for me the genre is exciting and really does get my adrenaline flowing, so much attention has to be incorporated into the making of the film which often leads to some really interesting shots and ideas that creep in, but on the flip side too much over thinking and determination to be sensational can lead to some terrible mistakes and often destroys a film.

There are a few things that really make a Found Footage work

• Realistic use of cameras
• Realistic camera expectations, cracked screen poor sound
• Unknown actors, plausible for real life missing persons etc
• Incorporating real events and places
• Thrilling mystery

Some things that really ruin a found footage movie include.

• Invincible cameras
• Known actors
• the footage is not cut it doesn’t appear to be found
• Plays out like a normal movie
• Too perfect and no mistakes
• Anyway back to the list.

01.Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

Following the disappearance of a group of filmmakers in the Amazon, a Doctor embarks on a rescue mission. His trip does eventually lead him on the path of the remains of the crew after experiencing his own personal taste in cannibalism. The film is gory and rightfully maintains a stance as a golden oldie of the video nasty era and one of the pioneering found footage movies. It’s brave and not without mistakes but does depict real animal killings and is still rumored to be a genuine snuff film. I do adore it’s brutality amidst the 70’s hedonistic values that crept into the early 80’s.7/10

02.Noroi the Curse (2005)

A bizarre Japanese film that follows a paranormal film maker documenting some very bizarre events, the documentary switches between several stories and clips but if you stick with it then it can be quite rewarding. As with a lot of Japanese films it’s incredibly jumpy going from one thing to another but the scares are great and imagery pretty disturbing, there’s more than the typical ghosts with long hair, check out some intense psychic, flocks of dead animals and lots of unexplained mysteries, a terrifying twist and a brilliant ending to top it all off, it really is marvelous. I really loved the freaky guy with the tin foil hat and was impressed by the effects, they weren’t expensive but executed well.7/10

03.Afflicted (2013)

After getting “Afflicted” by a vampiric virus while on holiday in “Europe” one unlucky backpacker tries his best to deal with his new unwanted lifestyle. The sickness is apparent at first but around the time that he and his best friend starts working out that he might be a bloodsucker he ends up killing his friend who was doing his best to care for his friend not matter how creepy he was acting. So alone he tries to deal with being a sucker and find the source of his virus, what he finds isn’t quite the cure he was looking for. The film seems low budget but is quite imaginative and actually interesting to watch, there is a lead into part 2 which I think could be really exciting if this could get some more backing.6/10

04.Entidad (2015)

Spain have a lot to do to if they ever want to live up to the nightmares that REC (2007) created. But the Entity (English translation) does offer some really awesome scares. A group of students start their own ameture investigations into supposed haunted videos from the internet, unfortunately one of them turns out to be true and they end up unleashing some kind of demonic force which stalks them. It’s actually really creepy, and one of the few found footage movies that utilises those creepy moments in the corner of the room, or off screen rather than missing the big events, it builds up terror but then DOES deliver. Some scenes reminded me a lot of Silent Hill 4 but that was a scary pill to swallow so well done.6/10

05.REC/2 (2007) (2009)

I know I preach about top 10 lists then then have millions of honourable mentions and how they suck but I am incorporating a few sequels in this list, if you don’t like it “go fuck a duck”. So REC, one of the more recent films that caused the bedroom light to be left on, and a sequel that I had to watch during the day and rightly so because it brought all the fear back, sadly 3 was shit and 4 was OK but not as scary as it could have been. The whole narrative of combining “zombies” and demons isn’t new but it was a brilliantly executed in these two dark as fuck movies. A film crew are following a group of firefighters for their TV show, but one call gets them into something that is just pure nightmarish. After attempting a rescue mission they become imprisoned in an old tenant building where a zombie like virus is spreading through the remaining residents, after some investigations while fighting tooth and nail through the ever increasing numbers of infected they discover that there was a secret vatican experiment in the attic involving a priest and a young girl (not as kinky as you think). The storytelling is sound and the action scenes are literally to die for, a great cast and use of practical effects even for the most bizarre monster manageable, acted by the insanely elongated Javier Botet (check out his youtube channel). On the return we have a similar cast and more religious connotations as a new priest has to get a sample of the infected blood from the original test subject, but things go wildly wrong. Both films are dark and scary, and have a brilliant comedy zombie death scene (I know I’ve used both zombie and infected but just to clarity these are infected).9/10 – 9/10

06.Trollhunter(2010)

Norway’sslick answer to the found footage monster crisis. A group of film students making a movie about bear poaching stumble on a shady character who after some stalking takes them under his wing and reveals that he is a lone Troll Hunter keeping Norway safe from REAL trolls. The film utilises a host of impressive computer generated effects, usually something I argue against but they are so detailed and executed right in this comedic horror. A sterling cast and a fierce and brilliant approach to something dynamic in the found footage pantheon.10/10

07.VHS/2 (2012)/(2013)

Another double whammy here, and really this entry speaks for a lot of interesting hard work. These are certainly some of the more inventive and freakily fun found footage movies of the decade. Each film has a different director but the shocking brutality of each is strong. There are different flavours and styles, along with ABC’s of Death (2012) it feels like the directors were trying to out do each other on the surreal scale, and it’s a brilliant opportunity to be outlandish and creative that really gives this shorts some zing, but there is a deeply dark under current, with a lot of mystery surrounding some of the stories, that vary from strange harpy dates, a zombie “go pro” mountain biking trip to alien abductions and my all time favourite, a satanic strange general alternative reality.. something for everyone I’m sure.8/10

08.Poughkeepsie Tapes (2007)

This film blew me away and continues to do whenever I watch it. in a similar vein to the banned August Underground films this mock snuff film is a little bit more approachable. This film details a documentary of a serial killer who recorded most of his exploits, it shows various law officials and psychology tutors details parts of his psyche and actions in order to gauge what insane nightmare of a person the killer must be to exact this level of degrading torture. From clips of prostitutes popping balloons for him to the bludgeoning of a little girl and the systematic re programming of his longest lived “slave” the film picks apart the most gruesome scenes from thousands of hours of home video. What’s special about this graphic content is that it does look like old 80s/90’s home camcorder tapes and it has been suggested that it is real found footage for that reason. Brilliant shocking stuff!9/10

09.Man Bites Dog (1992)

Whenever anyone suggest found footage to me I always totally forget this film! If you’ve seen it, you’ll wonder how anyone could possibly forget it. A deeply dark graphic insight into a serial killer, laced with tons of black comedy and gratuitous violence. The killer is a racist sociopath whose poetic and totally unpredictable. The film crew that follow him about and up getting pulled into his killing frenzies, unwillingly of course, but there is little holding anyone back in this movie, but the magic happens by how calm and “inviting” the killer is, as he brutally kills and maims people while often explaining to the filming crew and director his methods and his victims gasp for breath and plead for help, he remains joyous and doesn’t often break a sweat. 8/10

10.Apollo 18 (2011)

Just around the time when all Found Footage films were starting to feel the same, Apollo 18 came out, somehow freaking out a lot of people who inundated NASA with questions on the mission!? I thought all that hysteria died out with Blair Witch (1999) So this regular space mission goes awry when the US astronauts find remnants of a Soviet crew that look like they have been attacked but by what? Searching the barren moon landscape they find nothing… all that obvious but strange occurrences start to play on their minds but the fear is much more real. I really enjoyed the film, but I’m partial to a slower paced film, I really enjoyed the threat as it looked so unassuming but there are flaws with this film and so many questions but overall I really appreciated the old film/radio approach to the look and feel of the film.Admittedly it could have done more to bring in the crowds, been a bit flashier but I admire it’s reluctance to do that and how it remains a slow burning horror. 6/10

11.Borderlands (2013)

Ever since it’s showing at the Abattoir film festival this has been an absolute favorite of mine, a passionate priest is sent to a remote church with a film and sound specialist to investigate a proposed act of god that was caught on film, but before the Vatican are willing to accept it, they need to make sure it’s not a hoax. After arriving and setting up cameras and attempting to capture everything the two are joined by one other official but after the death of a local priest and unexplained happenings more Vatican backup is required after they realised what they have stumbled upon. It’s a brilliant display of great story writing, superb acting and a fairly unique story that the like of Ben Wheatley would be proud of and topped off with sterling performances from Gordon Kennedy and Robin Hill. The only thing that lets the film down is the final scene,it’s brutal which is a great kick at the end of a harrowing plot but i’ll let you work out why it doesn’t work. 8/10

12.August Underground (2011)

Found footage is often the “cheap”option when it comes to making a movie, something that M Night SHalayalaylayam was accused of when he attempted a comeback with The Visit (2015), but this has to be the cheapest and most thrilling on the list. Much like Poughkeepsie Tapes (2007) the look and feel is incredibly  degraded home videos follow a couple of guys as they kill, humiliate and mame anyone who is unfortunate paths. As an example of the creativity of Fred Vogel in one scene they have a girl tied up in the basement who they beat and rape, her decaying boyfriends body is in the bathtub next to her, they abuse her, cutting off a nipple and later smear her with feces and urine, then force her to eat her beau’s toe… then things get more disturbing. It’s kinda brilliant if you like things on the disgusting side, and if you’re like me you’ll love the trilogy. 8/10

13.Banshee Chapter (2013)

Bejsus!! This film really got me good, and for that I adore it. I’m one of those horror fans who watches horror to be scared, I’m always looking for the next fright and this delivered it and has had long lasting effects on me. The beginning starts out simple enough, a college kid wanting to try a version of DMT that was pioneered in the MKUltra experiments, moments later his buddy films something wearing his skin.. a journalist gets involved and begins her investigations into this drug and the film gets deeper, probing into the government experiments and linking “Numbers Stations” this H P Lovecraft story had a new modern remake that makes it all terrifying once again.9/10

Great laughs in Films Vol.1

Despite how much I loathe comedy I do like a good giggle usually at the wrong moment during a disturbing movie..

01.Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart – Amadeus (1984)

 For anyone who knows me, this is something that you’ll hear whenever I find something REALLY funny, generally my laugh falls between Amadeus and Baby from House of 1000 Corpses (2003) (yeah I am that embarrassing). But this high pitched and comically infectious laugh is so distinctive and is one of the most memorable features of this classical  tragedy.

Spotlight – Christian Bale

I’ve never liked Christian Bale, I dunno what it is about his muppet face but I just want to kick it, but in all fairness he’s a pretty dedicated actor but I wouldn’t want to have lunch with the man. His dedication usually comes in the guise of his body transformations for his roles and darn it, the boy can act, he ain’t perfect a English accent but he does put some effort into his numerous character roles and when he’s not taking himself too serious he’s top notch, but he just has a muppet face.. and in NO particular order here are 5 selected Bale flicks..

Creepy Old people in Cinema Vol 1

Old people are so deceptive and eat more than you’d ever think..  But they play a fairly important part in cinema, usually the good wise characters, protectors and generally helpful sources of information, love and care, but on the flip side they can be way more scary and unpredictable when they play an opposite role, so here is a list of Creepy old people, its only volume 1… so if you I missed anything lemme know..

01. Eartha Kit as Freya in Erik the Viking (1989)

I really loved her little cameo in Erik the Viking, as a witchy woman of the mountains, a fortune teller and advice giver but oh my god how she just appears from under the fur creeped me out as much as it did Erik (Tim Robbins). After watching her play catwoman as a child she’s always reminded me of a feline, and you never hear them coming… creepy! just pure creepy but subtle compared to some of these other crackpots.. are you ready..

Creep (2004) Vs Creep (2014)

So now there are two films called Creep and neither of them contain the amazing song from Radiohead ,  but how do they compare on the level of creepy!? (Yes I know there other films called Creep but I’m leaving the 1995 one out for now).

So how to measure the creepiness of a movie… With these two films I seem to be against everything that is on the internet. So bare with me.

Main Character: So we have Craig and Josef. Craig is a mutant cave dwelling psycho who was subjected to lots of medical experiments and re enacts them on anyone who is unfortunate to cross his path, luckily he lives in he London underground so he usually preys on homeless folk so he goes unnoticed. On the other hand Josef is more of a sociopath who preys on people who respond to his Craigslist where is keeps them on edge by constantly scaring them, manipulates them and eventually slaughters them.

Now for me I’m more likely to meet Craig than Josef, I’m also more likely to have beaten Josef to death for freaking me out constantly. Honestly I would have bitch slapped him into a shallow grave for being creepy. Overall I think a mutant killer who doesn’t feel pain and who captures people and keeps them in cages before operating on them is much creepier than a norbet who you could take out if you used half a brain cell, after all Josef is as creepy as that dodgy uncle you have.. oh wait that could be pretty scarring… anyway.

Creep2004 1 – Creep2014 0

Creep Factors : Josef is a nerd and socially awkward, he does seem to keep jumping out scaring Aaron all the time and it worked the first few times but then it just gets annoying in the film, I’m sure everyone could see it coming, apart from that factor and some stalking there isn’t much else with this film. The London based Creep has a mutant psycho, rats, nasty painful operations, being crapped in watery cages, being trapped in an underground maze and some great bloody slahserific fun. Is that 5 aspects of creepy fun!? Okay!!

Creep2004 6 – Creep2014 1

Realistic? :There have been lots of reports of people trying to lure people into sex cults and what not on Craigslist, I only know of a few true life stories where killers have utilized the listings to attract prey and that’s enough proof for me. There have been tales about the horror that go on in the old unused parts of the London underground but nothing has been verified that scientific experiments went on down there, and that kinda stuff won’t make the media lol I jest, there is some storage down there but that is it. So the only scenario, which is more plausible, is the 2014 version.

Creep2004 6 – Creep2014 2

Ratings : Overall the film score about the same but on all of the top sites 2014 film gets a lot more attention and higher ratings, which I don’t understand in the slightest. For me the 2004 Creep has so much more character, superb method acting and some tense scenes, where the hipster 2014 film just gets under my skin. Because this is my blog I’m taking my own ratings here so

Creep2004 7 – Creep2014 2

Looks like the creepiest creep; goes to the detailed dark nightmare that Sean Harris performs to perfection, and kicks the shit outta Josef. I have to admit that if the two were in some kind of show down I reckon little Craig would beat the big Craigslist killer up, So what do you think? Which film freaked you out the most? Was this a justified comparison!?

Creep 2004 FINISH HIM!!!!

April 2016 News and Updates

Film News

Underworld : Next  Generation – It seems the new Underworld film is underway Underworld Next Generation. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Underworld: Next Generation

Undisputed 4 –has finally started releasing pictures and it’s looking impressive, it’s strange but the first news I had of the completion came from a bodybuilding YouTube channel, one of the massive guys was being interviewed and mentioned that he had just finished filming for Undisputed 4, I almost wept. I will be bouncing around in the cinema queue to see this.

Nina Simone Upcoming Movie – So much controversy about the upcoming Nina Simone movie as no one, including ??? believes she’s right for the part. But while this is big news and is impacting on a lot of people who agree, the film will still go ahead, and people will still go and watch it.. and so the Hollywood machine keeps on rolling. It does raise a lot of questions about who is really the best person to act in a biopic???? how much freedom do we give as “the Audience”.. to be honest, not a lot. Only last month i was quite disappointed by the Life (2015) film not only because the film was bland but I thought it could have been massively improved if James Dean actually looked like James Dean, but would the film have been better if the lead was given to an impersonator or lookalike? I feel an article coming on… But to be honest I don’t fully understand the fuss, although my choice would be Viola Davis .

Barbarella – It looks like there is going to be a remake of one of my all time favourite films, Barbarella!! Oh man when will they leave things alone?!? It’s not something I’m ever going to rush out to see, but I do wonder what the figures would look like on new releases if all of the remakes were not counted.

Movie Reviews /Quick Flick Reviews –  I think I have the hang of these mini reviews now, although I did miss a couple of days this month I’ve done well in posting (nearly) everyday.

Dead Mans Shoes ­ 

99 Homes (2014) 

The Long Weekend (1978)

Straw Dogs (1971)

A girl walks home alone at night (2014)

Mad Max – Fury Road (2015)

Ronin (1998) 

Under the Bed (2012) ­ 

Last Nights Movies 08.03.2016 ­

Splice (2009) 

Harbinger Down (2015) 

Kantemir (2015) 

Carandiru (2003) 

Life (2015) 

Possession (2012) 

400 Days (2015) 

Abandoned (2006) 

Racing Extinction (2015) 

Candyman (1992) 

Heist (2015 ) 

4.44 Last Day On Earth (2011)

The Gallows (2015)

The Collector (2009)

 The Other Man (2008)

Topos – Moles (2012) 

House of Seven corpses (1974) 

The Guest (2014) 

5 Selected Films by…

David Fincher

Shorts/Independent Films

Horror Shorts – Vermin, The Passenger and Hi 

3 Sci-Fi Shorts, Mech, human trials, Singularity and Mis-Drop 

Article/ Essay

Will Robert De Niro ever make a decent film Again?

I will be updating the Links page pretty soon I doubt I’ll get around to before I post this update though but I’m working on adding some awesome links to podcasts and some other interesting  movie review sites.