D: David Ayer S: Will Smith, Joel Edgerton. Noomi Rapace USA. 1h 57m
Described as the worst movie of 2017, I had to check this out, maybe it was a PR stunt but it worked, it got me looking and I was pleasantly surprised, while constantly looking for the loopholes, terrible acting and a story that I couldn’t understand I found the opposite and was a bit more confused about why this is was coined as being so bad when I was tempted to watch it again….
Not quite realising how long the film was going to be, as a lot of current films are getting shorter for the attention span of the masses, this is a bit of an marathon, being just shy of 2 hours, but it does use all that time quite wisely while being a sort of fantasy rip off of Alien Nation (1988). Instead of aliens descending upon us, this is an alternative reality where Orc’s, Elves and other mythical beings exist. Daryl Ward (Smith) is a know it all police officer who’s been teamed up with a pariah Nick Jakoby (Edgerton) who’s an “unblooded” Orc, we learn that this makes him a bit of a hipster, who’s from a long line of other hipsters who basically don’t kill, this gives him a bum status with all the other Orcs but the humans refuse to accept him as Orcs are famed for having accepting the “darker” more evil path as part of their nature so they can’t be trusted, in the locker rooms men boast about being Orc slayers.
*Hickok (2017) D: Timothy Woodward Jr S: Luke Hemsworth, Tracy Adkins, Kris Kristofferson Western (USA)
Everything about this film is Safe and it’s a the total poor relation to everything that is great about westerns. *sigh* I tried pretty hard to get into it, but it’s charmless, heartless.. pointless… Hemsworth has a lot to live up to and tried way too hard to be and not be his brother, he really needed to make his mind up there, but seeing great names like Bruce Dern and Kris K, I’d have expected the whole bar to have been raised, not just their minute scenes.Continue reading Last Night’s Movies 18.07.2017→
Oh dear it was a bit of a crappy movie weekend, I had a lot of new stuff to see but I panned most it all for crappy stuff as I spent most of the weekend painting and being a general douchbag. So after watching hours of rubbish on YouTube I eventually got around to some TV movies.. yeah I know I say I don’t watch it and I don’t, unless there is a movie on..
Passenger 57 (1992) – I used adore this movie when I was a teen, mostly due to the hot 90’s hair action going on, but it was one of the more talked about action films (on the playground).. John Cutter (Westley Snipes) is a former police officer and now has the pleasure of escorting a terrorist Charles Rane (Bruce Payne) on his flight to the FBI, somehow, he takes over the plane and the two men have to physically and mentally psych each other out. It’s a bit laughable now but I think it will always hold a special place in my heart, but it’s nowhere near as awesome as New Jack City.. It was possibly one of the last films Rane did while he was still semi hot. and Tom Sizemore was on his verge of slipping into a drug coma. All said and done I think I found Con Air more re watchable and that’s saying a lot… 5/10Continue reading La Weekend July 2017 – 3→
Despite it not being critically acclaimed I really was griped by this movie, it’s a bit tongue in cheek and the cheekiness continues throughout the film. It really isn’t something that you should be taking too seriously. And with scenes like this art theft it’s easy to see that this isn’t a gritty crime thriller in the slightest.Continue reading Ordinary Decent Criminal (2000) – Theft→
I totally aced my movie record last night, I got home from work early as I was feeling unwell and stayed up late feeling equally unwell and managed to fit in a ridiculous amount of movies…
I started the evening with Imperium (2016) – I had little faith in Daniel Radcliffe being a skinhead but as an undercover cop kinda skin he seemed a little more plausible. But there was this nagging feeling that he was out of place, a lot of people has issues with Tom Hanks being a gangster in Road to Perdition (2002) but I had no problem with that but this… just didn’t gel right. Still it tells an interesting if predictable story, but it tells it well. Without being over dramatic and focusing in on being purely offensive for vulgarity’s sake.Undercover work never seemed to basic. Still it’s another film to portray racists as the ridiculous eejits that they really are, and couldn’t have come at a better time.. For now it’s sit comfortable at 6/10 but I’m still forming a formal opinion on it.Continue reading Last nights movies 07.11.2016→
Oh this movie started some shit back in the day, literally it had started so many cults and urban legends and gave the west the now uber iconic Sadako that we honestly can’t escape from Does this mean we are literally cursed by Sadako? The movie came onto my radar years ago but so long after it’s release, I often thought back and wished that I had a copy on VHS just to keep the mysticism alive, Emma film is Fairley heavily submerged in mysticism, the basis of the original book was on Japanese folk tale Banchō Sarayashiki. I’m long before the play which has sent us into raging his cereal the ringer have managed to capture the dark imagination of Japanese youth, stories about haunted video tapes accepting other media became more than just a playground chatter.
In this deeply disturbing psychological horror, which creeps from the screen and into the mind, everything revolves around the legend of a cursed video tape, a legend that circulates among some teenagers. After watching the film at a certain time of night the telephone will ring right after and one week later you will die.Continue reading Ringu / Ring / リング (1998)→
Director : Sam Raimi Starring: Bruce Campbell, Sarah Berry, Dan Hicks, Kassie Wesley, Richard Domeier. USA. 1h 24m
I can’t stress enough how basic this review is going to be. I’m sure there have been books written about this film as it’s one of the most iconic horror movies of all time. I honestly couldn’t sing it’s praises enough in just one review but feel that it’s essential for this years 2016 31 Days of Horror.
I’ll blow your butts to kingdom come
There is something totally unreal about the Evil Dead 2, it really is funnier, scarier and better than the first indie movie, which in its own rites was actually an amazing film in it’s own rights. The original flick featured a group of teens going into the woods and accidentally summoning demons that possess and destroy them, the second film picks up from where the first ended, which is rare, but Ash (Bruce Campbell) has been plagued and hunted by the demons that were unleashed in the first movie, and is unable to escape and is slowing being tormented into madness and goes through temporary moments of possession. After being attacked and bitten by the undead Linda, Ash has to cut off his infected hand. The original professor’s daughter Annie (Sarah Berry) and her academic partner Ed are making their way to the cabin when they realise that the road is “blocked” it’s actually folded the fuck up, but they get Jake and Bobby Jo to give them a lift on an alternative route, by the time they arrive at the cabin, Ash has reached a new low or high depending on how you look at it, his rogue possessed hand is running amok, and he’s satin the middle of a room laughing along with the soft furnishings. They have to duck as Ash initially thinks they are the hoards of the evil dead, and they think he’s a murderer but eventually differences are put aside, ash received a chainsaw hand replacement and together the group battle the Evil Dead.
Starring: Christina Marsillach, Daria Nicolodi, Urbano Barberini, Ian Charleson. Italy. 1h 47m
Slightly arthouse but very gothic, this epic giallo film from legend Dario Argento see a fusion of opera and slasher collide in this suspense filled macabre horror. Seemingly inspired by the tragic Macbeth, that is the exact plat which Betty, a stunning understudy is working on when she is stalked by a hooded sadistic killer whose main objective is to torture Betty by forcing her to watch him kill but how’s cunning managed to keep his anonymity. On the opening night of the Verdi Opera, a stage hand is killed and all of the ravens that were brought in for the tragic opera, but the curse of Macbeth lives on and Betty is soon on the run. As the film slowly progresses every new character is a potential killer and Betty soon realises she can trust no one, a bulk of the film is literally Betty randomly getting pounced on, then upon waking up in a bound/gagged situation and unable to look away as an innocent person is brutally slaughtered in an outlandish way.
There is a unique feel in this gothic art house giallo, it has the loud badly dubbed soundtrack like so many others but the killer toys with the victims in such a bizarre manner, being one of the few gialli that focuses more on the torture aspect than bizarre settings and a horrific murders.
Poor (not so ugly) Betty, grapples to find sanctuary from this nightmare, one of the more memorable scenes is when she’s getting fitted for a costume when she finds herself bound with tape placed on her face with needles poking up ensuring that she can’t avoid watching the tailor get brutalised,and then a impromptu autopsy is performed on her after she swallows the killers bracelet. Each attack is like a small drama stage play in itself, with the intense lighting and pounding music. The torture method was one conjured up by Argento himself when joking about people shying away from his murder scenes in the cinema, he threatened to tape pins under their eyes so they couldn’t look away and materialised the fascinating idea here.
Verdi’s opera is infamous for bringing bad luck but the aesthetics inspired Argento to be a little bit more experimental with the visuals, from the early scene filmed from the black reflection of a crow’s eye to the haunting dream sequences and flashbacks suffered by Betty. The varied and well executed effects and camera work pays off, everything about the film is about an voyeurism and being centre stage, and every element is arranged in such a way where it’s all very much centre stage and “look at me”, and Argento didn’t really need to force us to look at this marvel as his attempts to make it stunning have mesmerized fans for years.
After several grisly murders and lots of flashbacks there are two epic endings, one follows on nicely and the other hits you like a bat out of hell.. And shouldn’t be missed,
Rating 8/10
R – Watch me when I kill, New York Ripper, Bird with Crystal Plumage L – A-Z of Giallo, Italian Cinema, Crazy endings A – My love affair with Giallo Post Discussion
Old people are so deceptive and eat more than you’d ever think.. But they play a fairly important part in cinema, usually the good wise characters, protectors and generally helpful sources of information, love and care, but on the flip side they can be way more scary and unpredictable when they play an opposite role, so here is a list of Creepy old people, its only volume 1… so if you I missed anything lemme know..
01. Eartha Kit as Freya in Erik the Viking (1989)
I really loved her little cameo in Erik the Viking, as a witchy woman of the mountains, a fortune teller and advice giver but oh my god how she just appears from under the fur creeped me out as much as it did Erik (Tim Robbins). After watching her play catwoman as a child she’s always reminded me of a feline, and you never hear them coming… creepy! just pure creepy but subtle compared to some of these other crackpots.. are you ready..Continue reading Creepy Old people in Cinema Vol 1→
It was a tough month but with no social life and with spending unusual amounts of time watching le Rugby I did manage to fit in a ton of movies, but slacked on the reviews.. Many apologies. I’ve got a few things in the pipelines and any suggestions and requests are welcome.
I spit on your grave 2 *6/10 The other man *2/10 Once were warriors 4:44 *3/10 Red riding 1980 The fighter The cook the thief his wife and her lover Once were warriors The Fly The descent Mansons lost girls *2/10 Grave Encounters End of days The house that vanished Persuasions Mansons lost girls House *7/10 The warriors Demons Amusement Safari *3/10 Cannibal Ferox *6/10 Nosferatu 1979 *8/10 Thirteen Ghosts All the boys love mandy lane Ufc 196 Akira Aliens Dead lands Ginger Snaps 2 Hostel 3 Underworld awakening Nadja*6/10 Oxford murders Awaken the devil * 2/10 Whiteout Cherry Tree lane Black hawk down Event Horizon Dark feed *2/10 Idle hands *4/10 Everest *5/10 Prowler *7/10 Below *3/10 Deep Red Anatomy * 6/10 Badge 373 * 6/10 Below Cabin in the woods Camino*5/10 Topos*6/10 Ghost ship The professionals Fractured The program *6/10 No Country for old men There will be blood The room Die another day Magnum force Puppet master Zombie strippers Dune Rush Non stop Halloween 3 Puppet master Screamers A most violent year *8/10 Armageddon Dracula Untold*5/10 Blood for Dracula The proposition The Guest *8/10 The Lost boys Terminator The survivalist *7/10 Blood creek Pumping iron Curse of the Werewolf Brides of Dracula Plague of zombies Orca killer whale Hidden *7/10 Dogtooth This island earth Victor Frankenstein *6/10 Alien 3 Gangster no1 The bleeding Goblin *2/10 Lighthosue
92 Films
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