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La Weekend July 5

Ghostdog (1999)

One of those life changing movies, and continues to be my go to film from time to time, a small indie movie graced by some impressive names, just because it’s that darn good of a film. Ghostdog is a lonely character, is only friend is a French speaking ice cream seller, his passion is Bushido and his Pigeons. After being saved by a mob boss, his adapted the way of the Samurai and looks upon this man as his master and he is a retainer. The mafia uses his dedication and sends him out to do hits. One goes awry and the mob turn on Ghostdog, but they don’t’ know who they are fucking with. Forest Whittaker plays the main character and he’s perfect, RZA had a hand in it’s production and the soundtrack takes a facet from each style of black music, it almost started a movement, (black) urban samurai 9/10

Continue reading La Weekend July 5

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Last Night’s Movies 26.07.2017

There was a terrible traffic jam and as the roads were dead I decided to duck into the pub and right across the road is the indie cinema soooooo… I took my pint over the road and got tickets for….

*47 Metres Down (2017) I finally found an indie cinema still showing this, I dunno why I wanted to see this and now I’ve seen it, I dunno why I bothered, after sitting down it dawned on me, this is a movie about a couple of girls in a cage in shark infested water, how much can you expand on that in an hour and 20 minutes…. but I like to keep an open mind. It starts out slow,  it takes 20 minutes before the sisters are on the boat. The backstory is irrelevant and the attempt to pull at the heart strings is isn’t needed but once they are out in the blue yonder under the guidance of Matthew Modine, who looks older but sounds exactly like Private joker and that’s a bonus as most of the film he’s a voice in their ears. The chum is chucked and the girls get dunked and with an hour of oxygen and an hour of movie the rest is supposed to be in pseudo real time. The film focuses on the girls after they get dropped to the sea bed, and bizarrely the great white sharks circling them don’t really get a lot of screen time, but this isn’t a scary shark movie it’s an underwater thriller, without any thrills…there are frights but there’s lots of puzzle solving and cute twist at the ending, you see it coming a mile on.. in fact it line up for this twist is as subtle as Conner McGregor but on the whole it’s just another underwater film. I wasn’t won over by it, it’s incredibly made and looks stunning but unlike something like Jaws (I didn’t want to mention it but…) which has a lot more storyline to it, I just don’t see myself watching it again.. but it was good to see at last but there is no treasure in this wreck 3/10 Continue reading Last Night’s Movies 26.07.2017

La Weekend July 2017 – 3

Oh dear it was a bit of a crappy movie weekend, I had a lot of new stuff to see but I panned most it all for crappy stuff as I spent most of the weekend painting and being a general douchbag. So after watching hours of rubbish on YouTube I eventually got around to some TV movies.. yeah I know I say I don’t watch it and I don’t, unless there is a movie on..

Passenger 57 (1992) – I used adore this movie when I was a teen, mostly due to the hot 90’s hair action going on, but it was one of the more talked about action films (on the playground)..  John Cutter (Westley Snipes) is a former police officer and now has the pleasure of escorting a terrorist Charles Rane (Bruce Payne) on his flight to the FBI, somehow, he takes over the plane and the two men have to physically and mentally psych each other out. It’s a bit laughable now but I think it will always hold a special place in my heart, but it’s nowhere near as awesome as New Jack City.. It was possibly one of the last films Rane did while he was still semi hot. and Tom Sizemore was on his verge of slipping into a drug coma. All said and done I think I found Con Air more re watchable and that’s saying a lot… 5/10 Continue reading La Weekend July 2017 – 3

Silence (2016)

Director: Martin Scorsese.
Starring: Andrew Garfield, Adam Driver, Tadanobu Asano, Ciarán Hinds, Liam Neeson. USA/Japan. 2h 41m.
Based on: Silence by Shūsaku Endō
Remake of : Os Olhos da Ásia (1996) and Silence (1971)

Probably something that should have been released closer to Easter there was a slightly early release for the Scorsese epic Silence that sees two young Portuguese Jesuit priests follow their beloved leader to Feudal Japan when news that he’s turned his back on his faith and is now living as a Japanese citizen. Sebastião Rodrigues (Garfield) and Francisco Garupe (Driver) leave without much consideration for their safety as Christianity has been outlawed and all followers of the faith are  being punished/killed in Japan . After hellish introduction scenes, the torturing of christians continues throughout which is used a tool to pluck the heartstrings. The two priests are; at first harboured by a few loyal converts who live on the fringe of society, mostly to protect themselves as they secretly live as Christians, but not content with living in a communal shed (with a priest’s hide). Rodrigues is obsessed with leaving, finding Father Cristóvão Ferreira  (Neeson) and discovering the truth, could his teacher and personal hero really have denounced christ to save himself and now be living in Japan as a citizen? But on embarking out into the world they are soon captured and the truth isn’t quite what he was expecting. Continue reading Silence (2016)

The Sweet Body of Deborah/The Body/Married to Kill (1968)

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Director: Romolo Guerrieri.
Starring: Carroll Barker, Jean Sorel, Luigi Pistilli. Italy/France. 1h 35m.

A couple return to Geneva from their honeymoon flaunting around various parts of Europe, the rich Deborah (Barker), and beautiful lover Marcel (Sorel) are only in town for one night before things start to become strange. Marcel notices an old friend, Philip, who totally blanks him in a nightclub, after catching up with him again during the evening, Philip announces that Marcels former fiance Susan is dead and it’s all his fault, despite her death being a suicide Philip still strongly blames Marcel for her death. Continue reading The Sweet Body of Deborah/The Body/Married to Kill (1968)

+ 1, Plus One, Shadow Walkers (2015)

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Director:Dennis Iliadis
Starring: Ashley Hinshaw, Rhys Wakefield, Natalie Hall. USA. 1h 39m

Along with a new wave of sophisticated teen sensation thrillers like It Follows (2014), Dark Summer (2015) and The Guest (2014), Plus 1 also swans around like a peacock flaunting an unusual story told in a unfamiliar fashion. The summer party to break all records has begun but something strange has invited itself to the party with devastating consequences. Continue reading + 1, Plus One, Shadow Walkers (2015)

Snowpiercer/ Seolgungnyeolcha/ 설국열차 / 雪國列車(2013)

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Director: Joon-ho Bong. Starring: Chris Evans, Song Kang-ho, Jamie Bell, Tilda Swinton, Ed Harris, John Hurt, Ewen Bremner, Octavia Spencer. Korea/USA. 2h 6m.

Based on: Le Transperceneige by Jaques Lob, Bengamin Legrand and Jean-Marc Rochette.

I was so psyched about this film, literally from the moment I heard about the comic going on the big screen I was up for it, and to know what it would have some Korean input would ensure that the artist and style of the movie would be safe and despite a few lapses and removal of original content that blew the shit out of the Korean team, it’s a pretty good adaptation.

The story remains one that depicts not only a dismal future but our own current state of affairs, the injustices of the classes and in typical French style an amazing bloody and violent revolution. Continue reading Snowpiercer/ Seolgungnyeolcha/ 설국열차 / 雪國列車(2013)

Scanners (1981)

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Day 23 of 31

Director: David Cronenberg
Starring: Jennifer O’Neill, Steven Lack, Patrick McGoohan, Lawrence Dane, Michael Ironside. Canada. 1h 43m

For me early Cronenberg films shine very brightly with imagination and unique fleshy charm. He is certainly one of those directors who can sell a dark concept with a mysterious shroud that gives his audience layers of fear to think through, these concepts were never all that solid but are strong with so many possibilities.

From his early body shocker films like Shivers (1975) and Rabid (1977) he slowly evolved his work to include more science and the emphasis on social interactions gave way to internal chemistry, and in this thriller the mind is the central focus more than the whole body.scanners

Starting out strong, ConSec a private security firm attempts to showcase the abilities of one of their scanners,and boasts a fine tuned collection of mind powers including, telepathy such as mind reading, mind-control, and telekinesis. When the Scanner attempts to interact with a member of the audience, it turns out this individual is a much powerful scanner and the brain battle that ensues leads to one of the most brilliant head explosions ever, i assume Cronenberg couldn’t resist the flesh. The security staff attempt to capture the man but he uses his immense skills to kill the guards and escape. Continue reading Scanners (1981)

Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre (2011)

aofa31days2016

Day 21 of 31

Director: Jim Wynorski
Starring : Dominique Swain, Traci Lords. USA.  1h 40m

I understand that this is the era of terribly non scary movies which are so pathetic they are laughable but some of them still manage to entertain or at least flash us some boobs.

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yeah this is standard prison uniform for chicks,, Continue reading Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre (2011)

Skinned Deep (2004)

aofa31days2016

Day 4 of 31

Director: Gabriel Bartalos
Starring: Les Pollack Aaron Sims Kurt Carley Linda Weinrib Forrest J Ackerman Eric Bennett Warwick Davis. USA. 1h 34m

I’m not quite sure where this year’s 31 days of Horror is going but things are going to get strange. You have been warned! I found this hidden gem in the bargain basket for 50p in a drastic closing down sale due to the Dr Satan’s henchmen looking character on the cover and the awesome title, this method of picking a movie is somewhat dodgy but in this particular case it paid off.
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It defines the term off the wall, it seems to have inspired brash films like Dear God No! (2011) and has no excuses for its behaviour what-so-ever, and I adore it’s disregard for the rules.
Beginning with a false start, the scary Death Machine (1994) styled toothy guy on the cover slashes a random stranger on the highway in the rain.. After the credits we’re introduced to a typically boring middle of the road American family who are travelling across country and stumble on an out of the way,  family run stop, but this is no ordinary family. To be honest I don’t really understand if these people are related or just a few survivors from a crashed circus bus? There is a runaway Golden Girl who plays mom, Warwick Davis appears as a real poisoned dwarf called Plates who throws plates at people and generally acts like a Gremlin at all other times, Brain/Brian (Jason Dugre) is a strange mutated guy who has a large pulsating brain that protrudes like a giant afro, and his favourite pastimes involve running through the city naked and riding his motorbike… The Dr Satan/Death Machine guy is also part of the family but seems under some control when at home and there is another guy in the basement but I’m keeping this secret…  Sooooo… the two families meet, the typical American family are all slaughtered over dinner by the circus freak family apart from the pretty teen daughter Tina (Karoline Brandt) who; after catching Brian/Brain’s eye and he gets to “keep” her in spare bedroom, it’s okay though, he puts some paper down for her.
Tina makes several escape attempts, goes on a freaky date with Brain, some aged bikers turn up and shit goes down involving a cactus garden and plates.. And some other “things” occur… until Surgeon General (Dr Satan/Death Machine guy) finally makes it into the basement to meet some headless bodybuilder who’s the mastermind behind all this.

It’s hard to know how someone ends up making a film like this, it’s certainly not your typical horror, but it does include a lot of typical horror elements, after all the crazed family in the middle of nowhere isn’t a unique story in itself, it’s aced by similar films such as  House of 1000 Corpses (2003) and Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), but none do it with such a high degree of comedy and without this thick layer of surreal oddball character. The budget is obviously low but the Director, Gabriel Bartalos doesn’t let this hinder his creative streak and some amazing effects are created especially with Death Machine Guy and the headless “Creator” in the the basement.
Overall the film feels like a fuked up nightmare from an underground graphic novel series, probably written by someone high on meths and struggling with life. It’s pretty unpredictable and even though it’s corny as hell at times it’s a great find and a film I thoroughly enjoy every time, from the aged bikers fighting in the cactus garden to Brain running down the strip ballsack naked.. there ‘s just so much to enjoy.

If the film did attempt to be serious for a moment, it would have rivaled Texas Chainsaw with uber violence, outlandish characters and a very disturbing plot, would have yielded some tragically dark and zany cinema, without any shame , sense or reason but something to sit back and chill to to get a laugh and a fright?

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Rating 7/10

R House of 1000 corpses (2003), Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
L – Bizarre Horror films. Dwarf Flicks
A – What did I just see? And other films you have to see to believe.
5s – Warwick Davis