Tag Archives: uk

Date Night

image https://youtu.be/rQPSWU6QET0

Found on Futureshorts YouTube Channel

Duration 5.54

Dir: Reggie Yates / UK / 2014

When three fidelity phobic misfits find themselves in the same cafe, their love and hate for all things

This short film portrays a few individual in a canteen at lunch time, all giving a “from the heart” talk about their single life and attracting a partner, the characters are all very different in their approach while all remaining total misfits. You have the macho executive (Tony Day) who is over-confident and eager to detail the immense size of his manhood, in the same cafeteria there is a guy who is over-cautious and meticulous, and just can’t seem to find perfection, finally a young lass who is deeply in love and incredibly angry as well. All of them are relating food with love and love with food, it’s charming and inventive dialogue. Most of it is a close up face on shot like an interview but the dialogue is crisp and witty. it’s a very clever short film, we all know one or two of characters which is a good indication that they have got it right. It’s insightful and opens many windows but answers no questions.

 

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R
: 7/10

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Scintilla (2012)

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An elite team of mercenaries is hired for a covert operation, deep inside a former Soviet state. Arriving at an underground laboratory, their mission is to secure specimens of genetically engineered human and alien hybrids. Battling with a ferocious armed militia as well as dark, menacing creatures, the odds of survival are stacked against them.

Mutants in a bunker, what could possibly go wrong!?

This unique brit flick, directed by Bill O’Brien who is not shy when it comes to cross breeding alien species or using John Lynch to deal with them, brings together an seemly unplanned trilogy Isolation (2005) Ferocious Planet (2011) and now Scintilla (2014) . The mercenaries are led by Powell (Lynch), have to infiltrate a bunker and bring back mutant samples from deep inside a war torn Russia.

The film is well acted but lacking in excitement, there is little expansion in some of the stranger aspects, such as why is Powel being tortured at the beginning of the film, the mutant hand that opens a door near the end, probably aimed at getting the film needs talking about sequels. The unique selling point are the two unique mutants test subjects,  I’ve never seen anything like them before. If you’re into raincoats and retro fashion, Dr. Irvine (Winslet) delivers the goods. It’s interesting to say the least, probably a little too subtle, there is a great story to be told here it just needed a bit more depth to wet the whistle.

Rating –  5/10
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R: Outpost (2007), Creep (2004), Doom (2005)

L : Bunker Movies

Kisha

Gnomeo and Juliette (2011)

GNOMEO AND JULIETTE – (Animation, Comedy, 2011) (PGD: Kelly Asbury C: James McAvoy, Emily Blunt, Maggie Smith 1h 40m  UK 

The neighboring gardens of Montague and Capulet are at war, but the gnomes, Gnomeo and Juliet, are in love.

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Yeah I still watch cartoons. Pixar garden version of Romeo and Juliette if you didn’t guess. It’s a kids film but it’s funny as f*ck! I love the flamingo, the teeny rabbits and the kitty clipper.. No something I’d expect anyone on my blog to really watch so i won’t go into any details.

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Isolation (2005)

Isolation

(Horror, Thriller, Gore. 2005) (15) D/W: Billy O’Brien C:  Sean Harris, John Lync, Marcel Iures.  1h 35m. UK / Ireland.

On a remote Irish farm, five people become unwilling participants in an experiment that goes nightmarishly wrong.

TAGLINE : A horror film set on a lonely farm in rural Ireland.

 

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Well I don’t remember how I came about finding this flick, but it has two of my al time favourite UK actors in it and both were very hot to watch.. oh man!! It’s a keeper, just for Sean Harris and John Lynch visuals.

I do vaguely remember seeing this previewed on another DVD possibly Unearthed or the Decent and it looked terrible, I only recognised the movie from one of the final scenes..  I thought trailers were supposed to turn you onto a movie, make it look dazzling and schit? If they showed Sean Harris making out and John Lynch’s birthing scene the movie would have been higher on my to buy list!

The movie revolves around an out of work farmer, Dan (John Lynch)  and the use of his farm by scientist unknown  to breed a more fertile bovine, he’s Irish but he’s not f*cking lucky at all, he is kept in the dark  over many aspects of the “project”.

Along with all these problems Dan has a young couple (Sean Harris and Ruth Negga) intruding on his laaand (oh wait he’s not from Somerset.. ) * ahem * on his land.. To the viewer it’s clear that the couple are on the run, to Dan they are just going to get him into trouble with the unknown powers, but he’s not a monster, he lets them stay, that kind act might have been a curse in disguise. Still Dan’s main concern is the livelihood of his herd.. although to be fair I only remember seeing one cow in the entire movie!

Things are wrong from the get go in this dark, biological nightmare of a movie, two people are bitten by an unborn calf.. bitten!!!  Mind you the little fekker gets swung around by the legs and over the head of Dan on entry into this world! Is this honestly common practice?? WOAH!

IsolationBirth

Then things get weird (if that wasn’t weird enough) There is a vigorous dose of gore and yucky moments, Cronehberg would be proud of the viral creatures, sliding around and biting folk. There are various arms up cows A$$es, strange cuts and bites, autopsies, vomiting, blood and guts, at least there was enough to make a little gore queen like myself squeal with delight!

 

A dose of Sean Harris and John Lynch makes me happy and get the old juices flowing, both are really great actors who aren’t afraid to get dirty for their work and it pays off. To be honest I don’t think nay shy actors fair well in such films.

While being a frim Reality Checked Drama, a Biological Sci Fi Breakdown and a Gore Bursting Virus movie, Isolation holds true to the modern British horror genre, it is a good movie, it doesn’t open up any new doors for any of the aforementioned genres but it does touch on a possible future crisis. I know a lot of conspiracy theorist, vegans and those sensitive to genetically modified foods/crops/herds will see this as a harsh bite of reality that we might have to face.

I have to give this movie huge thumbs up for using animatronics and not GCI, I really love when films do this, CGI can work at times but for this style of gore and horror you really need to see something with substance. We need to bring back blood soaked, repulsive, textured monsters and look and feel real man!

R: Squirm (1976), Slither (2006), Shivers (1975), Growth (2010), Ruins (2008), Bug (2006), Splinter (2008) ß do you see a pattern emerging here, infection movies all with one word titles…

7/10

07

Hummingbird / Redemption (2013)

HUMMINGBIRD/REDEMPTION

(Drama, Action, 2013)(15) D/W : Steven Knight C : Jason Statham. 1h 40m. UK.

Homeless and on the run from a military court martial, a damaged ex-special forces soldier navigating London’s criminal underworld seizes an opportunity to assume another mans identity – transforming into an avenging angel in the process.

Hummingbird

I get the impression that this was supposed to be the movie to prove that Jason Statham is more than just an action hero but Steven Knight got the formula right but proved nothing with this mundane movie. I decided to watch this to get away from the drama and I just wanted a non thinking action/violence flick.. I was disappointed.

The movie is full of unlikely events for example while running from a gang in central London Statham just happens to chance upon a totally empty apartment, without realising it he cleans up, showers, changes clothes etc.. most people would be more aware of owners impending return.. and he doesn’t realise that it’s going to be empty for some time until the morning after.. no matter move along..

Hummingbird doesn’t really live up to the potential of either the Statham or Knight, they have wowed audiences with brilliant films such as Eastern Promises (2007) and Transporter (2002). But all the situations just don’t add up, Statham isn’t bad but he seems awkward showing this other side here. Rather than blending any of the realism of the London streets into the movie, all the characters and situations seem aloof to what we see everyday. On top of that the nun’s back story, as tragic as it is; gives a shock but stacked on top of all the other implausibilites, just causes the movie to become even MORE unbelievable.

The movie could have been a slick ride, it has all the elements of a really good Korean style crime flick gone big smoke style, ex special forces, triad gang, a nun.. drugs, prostitution etc.. but the director and cast struggle to tie them all together in a meaningful way.

BS : My favourite scene in this movie which I thought might be a theme for the damaged Statham character is when he’s half asleep and the buzzing flies in the kitchen morph into helicopters and a battle emerges, Statham then envisions a hanging man and stats to shoot him, but the gun turns into a lamp stand and everything returns to reality.

5/10

Last nights movies 12-06-13

Righto I actually watched a film and not a whole evening of tales of the unexpected, a bit strange but as I’m now on the final season I’m slowing down I suppose I don’t really want it to end.

So like a fool I picked my movie by the cover and not the time. Going through the to watch pile I decided on Titus (1999). After the first hour I realised that it was a 2h 42m movie.. NEVERMIND! I managed to fit it in AND a few tales of the unexpected!!

It’s a lavish Shakespearian tale, it was one of my more favourites as it has a lot of passion, drama, violence, it’s big and dramatic and damning!! And I didn’t have to study this one at school. It was worth watching merely for the costume and sets.

titus-andronicus-495w

 

Girl with a Pearl Earring

GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING.

(Historical, Romance, Costume Drama, Biography 2003) D: Peter Webber W: Tracy Chevalier P: Peter Block – 1h 40m. UK

TAGLINE : Discover the mystery behind the legend.

A Young peasant maid working in the house of painted Johannes Vermeer becomes his talented assistant and model for one of his most famous works.

A beautiful movie where nearly every scene looks like a Dutch masterpiece. Visually this movie is stunning, and I’m not saying that just because I’m an artist.

It details very little about the inner thoughts of any of the characters but informs and entertains much in the same way as The Other Boleyn Girl (2008).

pearl earrig

I felt that the actors were forced into being silent and still for most of the pivotal scenes, using body language and close ups to express the emotional thoughts rather than bold action, but to be honest if you study historical artist Vermeer (Colin Firth) was always referred to as being a quiet man of the Dutch Golden Age, often being outspoken.

pearl earrig (1)

The cinematography by Eduardo Serra and the production of the movie ensure that every scene captures a painting; a lot of the scenes the actors are still, the colours all mimic the pallet of an 1665 painter the scenes are all very typical of the subjects of many paintings of that time and genre.

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I really do like my historical costume dramas so I’m a little bias here. This is certainly one of the more entertaining. It’s not trying to answer any questions, reveal any secrets or rewrite history, it’s just a simple explanation of what might have happened. Simply Vermeer and a host of others, (Tom Wilkinson and Cilian Murphy) all fall in love with one natural beauty and all need to possess her in some way.

Q: “You’ve glazed my wife in dry piss” “How hard is it to paint a pretty girl” R : The Other Boleyn Girl (2008) T: the original title of the painting is Hey Meisje met de Parel

7/10

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Green Street (2005)

(Crime, Drama, Sport, 2005) (18) D/W: Lexi Alexander W: Dougie Brimson 1h 49m. UK

TAGLINE: Stand Your Ground and Fight.

A wrongfully expelled Harvard undergrad moves to London, where he is introduced to the violent underworld of football hooliganism.

Another footie hooligan movie and another Elijah Wood being a preppy yank in the UK!? I remember trying to believe his character in The Oxford Murders (2008) but it was really hard. This was just as difficult, I just can’t take the freaky eyed hobbit all that serious. Anyway I really enjoyed Cass (2008) and Awaydays (2009), this doesn’t have the gritty nature of the other two but it does feature some of the cast. As a passage to manhood movie for little Elijah it’s not that bad, a lot of it was totally unbelievable but it was a good movie.

There are some interesting snippets in the movie, I think to try and illustrate that hooligans are real people too?

Anyhoo.. . Elijah’s sister has hooked up with an ex hooligan gone straight because he’s now a responsible father (yeah it happens just like that) The ex football hooligans little brother is also a thug and ends up baby sitting Elijah and chucks him into a world of violence with he laps up with gusto! Lots of crazy shizzle happens and there is a big stand off with Millwall who never disappoint.

Elijah comes across as a choirboy corrupted in this film but even by the end he still seems to be a little kid, maybe some facial hair would help here? The movie is totally owned by  the gang leader Charlie Hunnam, who shows a more honest manly dose of aggression and compassion which holds the entire movie together.

T: Cass Pennant makes a cameo. Q: “So he’s a Yank AND an undercover “journo”, looks like we’ll have to give the boy two funerals”.

R : Cass (2008), Awaydays (2009), The Oxford Murders (2008), Rise of the foot soldier (2007).

6/10

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Doom (2005)

DOOM
(Science. Fiction,Horror, Action 2005) D: Andrzej Bartkowiak W: Dave Callahan 1h 40m.

doom

TAGLINE: No one gets out alive.
Space Marines are sent to investigate strange events at a research facility on Mars but find themselves at the mercy of genetically enhanced killing machines.

I used to play this game many years ago while doing night support, being terrible at first person shooters I was just cannon fodder! Anyway I avoided the film for some time, but then was forced to watch it and sadly… I loved it! The film is a little predictable and the dialogue is a bit lengthy but Richard Break and Karl Urban make the movie great. It’s worth watching it for the game play section near the end, you’ll wanna get the please games out and play away. There is no hidden meabings, deeper plot lines it’s quite WYSIWYG. And I’m chuffed as f*ck to have a signed poster for this film!.

Q: Don’t give me an excuse Portman. No one here will miss you. OST: Guest appearance from Trent Reznor
7/10
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The Wolfman (2010)

Joe Johnson/Bill Carraro/Andrew Kevin Walker and David Self (Curt Siodmak : Original movie).
Horror – Monster – Drama – Historic – Thriller

This gothic tale centres on the Talbot family and their estate in the town of blackmoor.

Based in 1890s Britain. After the brutal murder of his brother, Lawrence Talbot (Benico Del Toro) returned to his family home from the theater when promoted by his brothers fiance Gwen.  Nothing has changed, especially and hatred between him and his estranged father (Sir Anthony Hopkins). Lawrence finds himself along; battling his mothers apparent suicide, his fathers coldness, the new desire of his late brothers wife, suspicious locals and the pursuant police officer to try and solve his brothers murder while the beast stalks them all.

It’s impossible to talk about a werewolf movie without mentioning the transformation scenes, I’m lead to believe that the man behind the effects was the same as American Werewolf in London, Rick Baker is the modern day werewolf transformation expect. Sadly but expectantly a lot of is CGI, personally I prefer seeing a lot more casting and ripping of latex skin myself, but still the CGI extras are interesting and some of the transformations scenes in the crypt are a little comical. It really does look like Del Toro are bouncing off the walls.

The general look and feel of the movie is almost literally painted on the screen, it’s got a darkened romantic London style to it, obviously a loving look from abroad. The asylum scenes are very stereotypical, is there any other way to portray a mental hospital? I personally liked the scene while The wolfman was stalking Gwen through the woods and it seems to take on a paper theater feel about it, and the beast keeps popping out to strike someone then bounces off through the woods again.

I think I was alone in liking the movie, everyone else in the cinema seemed highly disappointed. Being a goth I think I was sold on the look and feel of the overall movie but I do appreciate that it did seem a bit weird to see a hulking South American running around the English countryside.

The movies boasts a lot of great performances, sadly the main actors had to carry Emily Blunts numb faced attempt at acting, but it was a delight to see Anthony Sher, who I have adored since Eric the Viking (1989), Hugo Weaving  was prized as Inspector Aberline, hot off the case of Jack the Ripper no doubt and Sir Anthony Hopkins playing the every distant older male that we’re familiar with from films like Fracture (2007 ). The Cameo from Max Von Sydow was rather interesting, it could have been totally cut from the movie but I feel it was added only to try and capture some of the similarities of the original movie where the main protagonist brought the silver wolf head cane at Gwen’s (Emily Blunt) antique shop.

The movie has it flaws, I was surprised at how many lines were instantly repeated, and being a remake/reload (whatever) it was predictable, but again that was some of the charm.

I really appreciated the ending, too many times Hollywood tries to send us to be with a goodnight kiss telling us everything will be alright, What I really liked and here is the spoiler, Aberline gets bitten and survives, so where is part two? No doubt I’ll write up a few predictions or there might be some fan fiction somewhere.

Related movies

Things I learnt from this movie

  • It’s easy to run from London to the west country.
  • It doesn’t rain everyday in the UK
  • Max von Sydow can steal the show with a mere 3-minute scene
  • Emily Blunt can’t move her face anymore.

Rating : 7/10

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