The Seventh Son (2014)

Director: Sergei Bodrov
Starring: Jeff Bridges, Ben Barnes, Alicia Vikander, Kit Harington, Olivia WIlliams, Djimon Hounsou, Julianne Moore. USA/UK/Russia 1h 42m

Based on The Spook’s Apprentice by Joseph Delaney

In principle the story is ok, I’m pretty sure the better selling novel by Joseph Delaney is worth a read if fantasy is your thing, but in this bizarre adaptation there’s no longer anything particularly outstanding. Which is totally bizarre as it has all the ingredients, great actors, many who have starred in many fantasy movies, a Russian director, and without prejudice some of the most inventive fantasy movies have come from the region, topped with a lavish story, this should have blown many pairs of socks off, but it could barely figure out how to put them on.

Opening at a weird stage in the story, we see a man locking away a screaming woman in a remote hold in a vacant landscape, is alludes to this being the outcome of an epic battle between Mother Malkin (Moore) an evil witch and Gregory (Bridges) a member of a knightly order called the Falcons who dedicate their lives defending mankind from supernatural threats.

November (2017)

Director: Rainer Sarnet
Based on Rehepapp ehk  by Andrus Kivirähk
Starring: Rea Lest, Jörgen Liik, Arvo Kukumägi, Katariina Unt, Taavi Eelmaa, Dieter Laser, Jette Loona Hermanis. Estonia. 1h 55m

I’d like to think that I don’t award too many 10/10’s although I am always searching for perfect films and I believe I have just found another one, possibly the one. There’s so much to fall in love with in Sarnet’s November, based on a deeply chrasamisc novel Rehepapp by Andrus Kivirähk who’s possibly one of the most influential folk writers since Estonia’s classical epic Kalevipoeg and is just as extraordinary.

The film starts out curiously, a cow skull mounted on farming tools is captured rolling and creaking across the landscape using a chain it steals a cow, by grabbing the beast and flying into the air like a folklore chopper, the mechanism lands with the cow, on a farm miles away across the forest, the owner coming out to retrieve the animal and kicks the machine away, but it talks to him, asking for more work so he gives it an impossible task and it explodes. This “thing” is a Kratt and you’ll see a lot of these throughout the movie, and you can see the Kratts screen test here (https://vimeo.com/66493993)  

The villagers find it hard to survive throughout the dark Estonian winters and often end up stealing from each other and the German nobility who are taking over their lands. In order to make a Kratt the villagers first have to go into the forest and make a pact with the devil written in blood in His book.

Ginger Snaps(2000)

Day 1 – Ginger Snaps

Director: John Fawcett .
Starring. Katharine Isabelle, Emily Perkins, Kris Lemche,Mimi Rogers. Canada. 1h 48m.

Usually teen coming of age movies are both shocking and comedic, and while ginger snaps has all of this, it takes everything to a new level, the comedy is blacker and there’s much more blood than you’d expect from a couple of girls who are just trying to get by in high school..

A lot of horror films involve teenagers; classic horrors like Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) have thrilled and scared our pants off, but usually the teens are the victims, but a whole lot Ginger Snaps strives to be different from all the rest and in this teen dream film meets hammer horror, the beast wears lipstick and heels while feeling really awkward in social situations.

Dear God No (2011)

Day 5 of 31

Director/Writer/Producer: James Bickert
Starring: Jett Bryant, Madeline Brumby, Paul McComiskey. USA. 1h 21m.

I wasn’t prepared for this film.. so let me prepare you for this film. I chanced upon it in HMV in the horror section and looking like a cross between Baytown Outlaws, Pig Hunt and Devils Rejects.. but while it’s brilliant in it’s own rights it’s just not like any of these films.. it’s not like any other film… thankfully..

The Impalers are an outlaw motorcycle gang who are constantly on a full on GTA style rampage with a rival club Satan’s Own. And after riding through some nuns and fighting this gang the surviving members seek refuge in a secluded cabin deep in the mountains. The family who were having a small celebration in their cabin are soon preyed upon by the rebel biker gang but a mysterious girl who is locked in the basement holds secrets to a flesh eating monster lurking in the woods and a nazi mastermind behind all sorts of wrongness.

There is no safe haven, every level of wrongness is explored in a similar vein as to other modern comedy exploitation movies such as Hobo with a Shotgun (2011) similarly both films pay little attention to making the film look retro with a few grain lines that are soon disregarded, but unlike the original exploitation films this just rips everything apart in a parody so bad it’s good.